Bedtime for Bonzo

What's the matter?

Oh, it's just terrible!

I wonder why he'd want to do a thing like that.

Gosh, I hope he doesn't jump off.

Please, please, don't do this terrible thing.

You're young.

You have everything to live for.

You'll be only hurting those who love you.

And think of the loss to science.

Hans, how did he get out there?

Isn't it terrible, Peter?

First I find him with a surgical knife, and now this.

I've tried everything.

Bribery? Bribery, threats, tears.

Then why did you send for me?

You're a psychologist. Use psychology.

On him?

It might work.

Please.

All right, I'll give it a try.

Be very gentle with him.

For days now, he has been sulking.

Good morning.

Bad as all that?

Long way down. Isn't it, Bonzo?

No. No. No.

Go ahead, Bonzo. I want you to jump.

Jump, Bonzo. Jump!

Peter, what are you doing?

I'm trying inverted psychological domination.

He should refuse to jump.

Go ahead, Bonzo. I want you to jump.

Jump, Bonzo. Jump!

Peter, try something else.

$2,000 he cost the college.

Maybe he'll respond to the Gestalt theory.

Bonzo.

Listen.

Pretty Bonzo?

Nice.

Here, Bonzo.

Yeah. Things look better now, Bonzo?

Happy, Bonzo?

It's working. It's working.

Come on. I won't let you fall.

Let's go home. Come on. Come on.

Oh, watch it, Bonzo. Steady! Hey, Bonzo!

Take it easy.

Shh!

Come on, Bonzo. I'll get you home.

Now hang on, Bonzo.

Don't look down.

Watch it, Bonzo. Steady.

Bonzo!

Peter, don't drop Bonzo.

Come on up, Bonzo.

Hang on. Don't be scared, Bonzo.

Take it easy.

That's it. Steady, Bonzo.

Bonzo!

Bonzo, don't drop Peter.

Take it easy, Bonzo.

Careful.

Uh, you'll make it. You'll make it.

Come here, you old thing. Come on.

Next time, call a zoo.

I don't know whether to thank you for saving Bonzo,

or to thank Bonzo for saving you.

Or Gestalt for saving both of us.

Incredible!

That was taken in Joliet.

Incredible!

The minute I saw his picture on this book,

I knew he was the guy.

The professor, eh?

Uh, that was just one of his aliases.

He also operated as Silky.

Yes, sir. The professor was the sharpest con man who ever hit the rock.

Two weeks in stir,

and he had the tobacco and the candy bar concession

right in his pocket.

No fuss, no muss, just angles.

Nothin' but angles.

Why he taught me more than--

Prof. Boyd is here, sir.

Send him in.

Good morning, sir.

Incredible.

Good morning, Prof. Boyd.

Uh, you wanted to see me?

Yes. I wanted you to meet Mr., uh...

Breckenridge.

Sure pleased to meet you.

How do you do, sir?

A dead ringer.

Is this gentleman's name familiar to you?

Breckenridge?

I'm afraid not.

I was a pal of your old man's.

I guess he never told you about me.

No, he didn't.

Mr. Breckenridge says, uh,

your father was his, uh, cellmate.

Is that so?

The old professor died in my arms.

It'll be 20 years next November.

When he was buried, there wasn't a dry eye in our cellblock.

He had this sewed in his undershirt.

It's your old lady.

He told me he never saw much of her after you were born.

No. He wanted it that way.

So you're the professor's boy.

That's right.

Took his monicker, too.

Oh, he would've Liked that.

Prof. Boyd holds a degree in Psychology.

The old professor did it the hard way, without a degree.

Mr. Breckenridge.

Thanks for bringing this to me.

Oh, I'd have brought it sooner if I could've found you.

Your old man kind of kept you under wraps.

I guess he knew what he was doin'.

Big man, the professor.

I wonder what graceful explanation

we can offer for breaking the engagement.

Breaking the engagement?

Apparently, you don't attach any significance

to Mr., uh, Breckenridge's visit.

But I do.

Now I know that my father Loved my mother till the day he died.

No doubt.

However, I'm referring to the fact that your father was--

An habitual criminal?

Well...

What of it? He paid his debt to society,

as the moralists would put it.

How would you put it, Peter?

My father was born and raised in a slum environment.

Oh, environment.

I would put it this way, Dean Tillinghast.

Given a decent start in life, my father would have gone

just as far in the right direction as he went in the wrong one.

Peter, you studied under Dr. Huxman, the geneticist, didn't you?

Yes, sir.

Did you consider him a good teacher?

An excellent teacher.

Did you agree with his theory

that criminal traits were hereditary?

I did not.

And did you ever cite to Dr. Huxman

your own case as an example?

I certainly did.

You did?

Yes.

And did it alter his theory?

No, as a matter of fact,

he and the entire class disagreed with me.

Oh, there you are.

But Dr. Huxman also recognized my right to disagree with him.

So do I, Peter, but--

But I'm no longer good enough to marry your daughter.

You forget that I was a professor of genetics myself.

As a matter of fact, Valerie is an example

of the genetic approach to marriage.

Intellectual. I'll take the credit for that,

and beautiful like her mother was.

I think I know Valerie's good points.

I asked her to become my wife.

I appreciate that. But what assurance have I that your children,

my grandchildren, won't inherit criminal tendencies?

What do you want us to do?

Give you a written guarantee

that our kids won't grow up to be con men and thieves?

We are men of science, Peter.

And if we don't practice those theories we believe in--

But what about what Valerie believes in?

She's my daughter.

I'm willing to overlook that point.

That's enough, young man.

Under the circumstances, professor boy,

there's just one thing you can do.

Under the circumstances,

let me tell you, there's one thing you can do.

This you said to the Dean.

This I said to the Dean.

Shh.

What Language.

And from a psychology professor.

The Dean has asked me to quietly resign at the end of the term.

But that's a complete nonsensicality.

Just because your poppa--

Peter!

Oh, uh-uh, come in, Miss, uh-uh... Dr. Tillinghast.

Dr. Neumann, I...

I was just going down the hall to see Dr. Kohner

who maybe wants to see me.

Father told me what you said.

Did you wash his mouth out with soap?

Oh, Peter, did you have to blow up at him?

Valerie, I'm not made of sawdust.