Our Flag Means Death

Blackbeard: For the first time in my life,

I'm truly and fully present.

I used to view the sea as a battlefield.

But now I can appreciate the bounty it has to offer

and all of the natural beauty that surrounds it.

I am but a humble wanderer blessed with this feast.

No better than a heron, or a blade of grass,

or some sand,

or, like... I don't know, like, a wave or somethin'.

Even a single fish scale holds majesty.

Mysterious beauty.

I'd like to give thanks... to the spirits of the deep

for the wonderful bounty that we caught today.

So many fish... and without really even trying.

I'd also like to pay thanks to

these two simple fishermen before me

who have welcomed me into their simple lives

and shown me their simple ways...

- Ow! Ah! Pop-Pop! - (clanking)

- Call me simple again, I dare you! - Blackbeard: Pop-Pop.

What? What have I done to offend you?

You don't work! You don't do anything!

You sit on your ass all day!

Oh, well, (stammers)... I just don't understand.

I'll work harder. I'll work faster.

- You have no skills! - Well, you did say you could fish.

I said I caught a fish once.

Oh no, Pop-Pop, Pop-Pop, come on. Pop-Pop! Pop-Pop!

- We are not simple! - (indistinct yelling)

- Get off me, Pop-Pop. - We aren't simple!

- One more time! - Pop-Pop. Calm down, Pop-Pop.

- You calm down! You calm down! - Calm down! Get off me, Pop-Pop!

You control your Pop-Pop. Control your Pop-Pop!

Stop callin' me Pop-Pop!

Stop telling him what to do!

You ruined dinner!

Blackbeard: I'm sorry if I offended you, Pop-Pop.

I was trying to say a nice thing. Here.

Here, just take it... just take your plate.

Hold out your bowl.

Okay, here we go. Here we go.

Okay. Put some of, of that fish onto yours.

Pop... Pop-Pop, I'm so...

Pop... Pop-Pop. Pop... Pop-Pop.

It's just a fish! It's just a fish!

Father: If you were ever good at anything,

go and do that, you bum!

You guys are dicks!

Lieutenant: Destroying the Republic of Pirates

and eliminating Zheng and the Eastern threat

in one fell swoop.

Yes.

It was rather brilliant, wasn't it? (laughs)

Well, who'd have thought

little Prince Richard could've pulled this off?

Anyone with half a brain.

Oh!

Hm, if it isn't the great Spanish Jackie.

You know, I should thank you

for making me the man that I am today.

Oh, which makes me think.

Where is my nose, by the by?

I would so love to see the little fellow again.

Get the nose jar. Don't spill any!

Roach: Here ya go.

Prince Ricky: Ah, yes. Disgusting.

Go on. Fetch it for me, please.

You're quite brave to assume the wine hasn't been poisoned.

I've got a contingency for that. A taster.

The Swede (cries): You want me to taste the...

- (flies buzzing) - Stede Bonnet: Zheng? Hello?

A farthing for your thoughts?

- (bell ringing) - Morning time!

Morning time! Morning time! Morning time!

- (screaming) - (explosions)

You could try thanking me, by the way.

I did, uh, pull you to safety.

I pulled you to safety.

Did you? Well, don't wanna split hairs.

The main thing is we're alive.

Who cares?

I failed. Auntie and my whole crew are dead because of me.

Look, I've been a failure my whole life.

It's not so bad once ya get used to it.

Things have a, a way of working out.

At least for me.

- Don't touch me, Bonnet. - Yeah, sorry. I tried to be...

It was affectionate, but, uh, it was weird. It was weird.

- Soldier 1: Gems always. - Soldier 2: Not always, I'd prefer...

Someone's coming. Zheng! Get up!

- (soldiers chattering) - Come on!

Oop. What have we here?

Looks like a straggler.

- Stede: Oh! - (grunting)

- (punches landing) - Oh! Oh, no!

- Get off me! Get off me! - Soldier: Ring him.

- Ring his legs. - (punches thudding)

Stede: You'll regret this! (grunts)

Alright, genius. Jig's up.

- Or is it? - Another trophy for Prince Richard.

- Let's take him to Jackie's. - (sword slicing)

- (soldiers yelling) - (Stede yells)

Hoo! (exhales)

Well, that went as well as I planned it.

Yeah, you really showed 'em, Bonnet.

Where you going?

To skin a prince.

Right. Well, let's not underestimate the power of good planning.

Plans are useful.

- (bell ringing) - (distant screaming)

Stede.

Stede: Help!

Oy, these are English waters.

No fishing.

Probably lost his hearing

when we blew the shit out the place.

Lousy, old fisherman...

- (Blackbeard grunting) - (choking)

If you were ever good at anything,

go and do that...

...you bum.

Okay, Pop-Pop.

Have it your way.

- (footsteps) - (flies buzzing)

Hello, friends.

This is bittersweet.

I mean, here we all are at the end of piracy,

and you'll all be hung in the next few minutes,

and all your stories will be lost for the ages.

Which is a shame because I do love a good pirates' tale.

But don't you worry.

Because I will not be hanging you by the thumbs

like that deranged Captain Kidd.

Izzy Hands: That's not what he did, you twat.

Oh, my.

The great Izzy Hands.

And you're...

Pinocchio?

A new one.

Bring him upstairs.

Soldier: Sir, aren't we going to hang them?

Oh, yes... but they're not going anywhere,

so I have time for a drink with a legend.

- (indistinct chatter) - Can't believe I have an audience

with the great Israel Hands.

That's absolutely astounding.

I've always thought you were underrated.

I mean, it's absurd, isn't it?

Isn't it? That Blackbeard, he gets all this praise,

when you are quite clearly the brains of this operation?

Ya don't know the first thing about piracy, do ya?

Price Ricky: Don't I?

It's not about glory. It's not about gettin' what you want.

It's about belonging to something

when the world has told you you're nothin'.

It's about finding the family to kill for when yours are long dead.

It's about letting go of ego for something larger.

The crew.

Oh, my goodness. You've just grown so tedious. (laughs)

Brandy.

Here.

Nah, gimme the good stuff.

Soldier: You'll never believe what I just found.

Listen to this.

"Dear Ed, I long for you."

Stede: "Every day we spend apart feels like an eternity.

"I know you don't wanna hear from me,

"but I write these letters daily,

hoping one will reach you."

- "Hope that's okay." - What's this, then?

Well, I found it in that bottle.

Apparently, some bloke's all hot and bothered...