MacGyver

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Keep your foot on that!

I want to hear you say it!

It was a bad idea getting in this thunder box!

Hey, if you want to leave, the door is right there.

This mission was supposed to be easy.

Fly to a beautiful island nation,

crash a government shindig and get proof

of a brewing coup d'etat.

Which we did! Mission accomplished!

Mission not accomplished!

Number one: we just found evidence that not one,

but two generals were planning to overthrow the government.

Not exactly a good idea to wait out the storm

in a building locked with them, okay?

And number two...

- Hey! Do me a favor! - Huh?

You keep number one and number two out of this, you hear me?

All right, fair enough.

That was a bad choice of words.

That was definitely the worst choice you made

in the last 20 minutes.

The structural integrity of these things

is actually pretty solid, because of the

one-piece molding, the-the lightweight polymer.

Portable toilet facts?

Really? That's the last thing that I'm gonna hear before I die?

We're not gonna die! We're not gonna die!

Okay? We're gonna be fine.

I don't think we're in agreement on what the word "fine" means.

Okay, okay, all right, fine!

You're right. It was a bad idea!

Probably one of the worst ideas I've ever had.

But I'm allowed to be wrong

every now and then, aren't I?

I don't disagree, but this time, it may be the last time.

So, dinner's going great, man.

She's laughing, I'm laughing.

Then about halfway through, Bruce Willis's name comes up.

- I'm not really sure how. - I could imagine why.

So, she looks at me deadpan straight-faced

and goes, "Bruce Willis?

Was that the old guy from The Expendables?"

- Did she say it like that? - It's not how

- she said it, it's what she said. - And what'd you say?

- I said, "Check, please." - Hold on. No second date?

- No way. - All right. No. Stop.

- You got to stop doing this. - Stop doing what?

Coming up with ridiculous reasons to stop dating people.

That's not a ridiculous reason.

Okay, let me put it this way. How many dates have you been on

- the last year? - I don't know, man. I ain't counting.

But my Tinder profile is pretty en fuego.

How many have been second dates?

- Not that many. - Look,

we both know what happened this time last year.

What?

Oh, come on, Mac.

This has nothing to do with that.

Really?

Your clear refusal to even try and have

a meaningful connection with a woman

over the last year has nothing to do

with Sarah getting married, which, coincidentally,

- was just over a year ago? - Nope.

Sarah is happily married, man.

- Mm-hmm. - And you still won't let yourself

- move on. - Hey,

I'm moving on just fine. Don't you worry

about that, okay?

It's not my fault that most of the women

I've met recently don't have that special something.

I'm not that picky. All she has to do is be smart and beautiful.

And-and know some Krav Maga

and be able to handle herself in a firefight.

You know, that's a real asset.

No one is ever going to be Sarah,

but comparing everyone else in the world to her

is unfair to them, and more importantly, it's unfair

to you.

What do I need a girlfriend for anyway, man?

You ain't got one.

- Not for lack of trying. - And neither does Bozer.

We get to do what we want, when we want.

Bachelors ain't got to answer to nobody, man. It's awesome.

Hey, what's up? Bam!

Ooh. Mama looks pissed.

- Excuse me? - Well, I'm just saying, you don't look

as-as sunshiny as usual.

Okay, I would like for you to switch to your inner voice now.

- Okay. - I'm serious, Jack.

All right. What's going on?

Yeah, is this about Murdoc?

I wish, but unfortunately,

it's about another notorious figure from the past.

- Who? - Someone I thought I'd buried

a decade ago.

Duke Jacoby.

Ooh, no way.

How is that even possible?

Wait. Am-am I supposed to know who this person is or...?

Yeah. What is he? A drug dealer? Gunrunner? Is he a mercenary?

Depends on the day of the week.

Uh, why does

Duke Jacoby have Jack's face?

It's one of my old CIA covers, Bozer.

After Hurricane Katrina,

New Orleans was basically the Wild West,

so while law enforcement

was busy reinstating order in the streets...

Duke was sent in to keep an eye on all the sinister activity

going on in and around the Port of New Orleans.

With Duke's help, the Agency

was able to disrupt over 100 criminal and terrorist plots.

Yeah. I mean, he was one of the best

CIA covers, like, ever.

He was also one of the most expensive

- CIA covers, like, ever. - Yeah.

So much so that the top brass considered

having him assassinated.

They called it "Operation Budget Cuts."

Well, by that point, I almost wish they did kill him off.

I-I hated being that guy.

Okay, but if Jack is Duke, and Jack is here,

then how exactly has Duke resurfaced in New Orleans?

- Yeah. - I don't know, Bozer,

but two days ago, someone started reactivating

Duke's digital footprint in NOLA...

Opening new bank accounts,

unfreezing old credit cards, accessing his DMV records.

How'd this person get all this info on a CIA cover?

And what are they planning on doing with it?

Well, that is exactly what I'm taking Mac and Jack

to New Orleans to find out.

You're coming with us?

That's how serious this is.

All right.

Riley, I need you here,

combing through both the Phoenix

and CIA networks.

Find out if someone hacked in and stole Duke's info.

Okay. I'll be sure to bring you back some beignets, Riley.

Actually, Bozer, you're staying here to work

on another assignment.

Then you'll assist Riley in the war room.

- Mm! - So...

I guess you can pick us up some donuts.

All right, people, we've got work to do. Mac, Jack,

wheels up in 20.

- Yeah. - Yes, ma'am.

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Man, it's weird being back here.

I was really hoping Duke had said good-bye

to this place for good.

You've been checking over

your shoulder ever since we got here. I'm guessing

- Duke had some enemies. - You know that old-school

white pages phone book I have at my house?

Yeah. The one that I told you to get rid of because

- it's pretty much useless. - Yeah. That's the one.

Well, Duke made enough enemies to fill two of 'em.

Just showing my face around here is a risk.

Okay, to be fair, Dalton, showing your face

- anywhere is a risk. - I'm just saying.

Okay, now where are you taking us?

I'm taking you right to the source.

I call upon the spirits of the beyond

and ask

that they give me

the power of sight!

You can drop the act, Willy.

You ain't fooling anybody.

Except for maybe these yahoos.

What?

Show's over. Everyone out.

You have got a lot of nerve coming in here, Jacoby.

I'm still quicker with a blade than you are, old man.

Hey, you old

- salty dog. - How are you, Duke?

I'm doing good. Good to see you.

Guys, this is Willy.

He is king of the Big Easy underground. Nothing goes on

in this town without him knowing about it,

and more often than not,

he's got a piece of the action, ain't that right?

Well, a man's got to eat, Duke.

You're right.

Uh, can I help you?

Sorry. I was just trying to see how you made the flame so big,

but now I see the modified butane lighters

and the flash powder for a kick, yeah?

Underneath the sleeves. That's what I would've done.

Uh, who the hell is this, Duke?

Well, these two

are my associates, Will.

Are you in town long, man?

Only long enough to find out who's been running around town

pretending to be me.