NCIS

FEMALE REPORTER FRENCH ACCENT: The authorities are

combing the city today,

looking for an American national,

wanted for the murder of a Marseille police officer.

All right, I'm really sorry about this.

He is to be considered armed and dangerous.

What do we do now, Tony?

We run.

Hey. Sorry I'm late.

I want to get in front

of this whole fender-bender thing.

Despite what the lady from the insurance company says,

I totally had the right of way.

Excuse me?

This isn't about the surveillance van I totaled?

It is now.

Director.

We'll circle back.

This is Admiral Kendall.

He replaced Admiral Chase at the Joint Chiefs.

NCIS Marseille is overdue for a refresher seminar

on Internet security.

I want you to go and run that seminar.

Am I being punk'd?

Ah.

I see.

So why am I really going?

To get my daughter. In Marseille.

Agents from the NCIS office there are bringing her in.

You'll pick her up there.

Your plane leaves in two hours. Any questions?

Just one. Why?

I've been asking myself that for years.

Amanda was valedictorian in high school.

Straight A's in college... Georgetown.

And then she just suddenly flunked out.

She has spent the last two years wasting her life,

jet-setting across Europe

with a group of international trust fund brats,

partying in every capitol on the continent.

Well, maybe she just needed to find herself, sir.

Well, now it's gone too far.

This is the daughter of Vladimir Dunchenko,

the Russian arms dealer.

He's the son of an Iranian cabinet member.

And the girl in red is Amanda.

I'm Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs.

I can't have my daughter out partying with gun dealers,

Iranians and God knows who.

But worse, I don't think Amanda appreciates

just how vulnerable she is.

There are too many national security implications.

Your official cover legitimizes your assignment

but not a word to anybody.

Gibbs already knows.

But nobody else.

Nobody.

Copy that.

I'll bring her back safe, sir.

Thank you.

An Internet security seminar? You?

Am I being punk'd? No. Think about it.

Who do you know that surfs more questionable Web sites

than yours truly?

Not something to be proud of.

McGEE: You have a good point.

That's what you get for being a misogynist.

What do you get if you kick a dog? A trip to Hawaii?

Death by Abby.

Timothy, I need

your computer expertise again.

The luminosity is too feeble

for my visual cortex.

So you want me to turn the brightness up?

Be a dear.

Got a new phone there, Ducky?

Yes. Against my will.

Mr. Palmer has me addicted to a game called Symbolese.

It wouldn't work on my old phone.

It's a bit like charades.

But with symbols.

You create phrases

and other players online try to decipher them.

This one is... killing me.

Angry hat...

Mad Hatter tea party.

And don't you have a plane to catch?

Uh, it doesn't leave for another two hours, boss.

And I've got everything I need in my go bag.

You keep a packed bag in your desk?

Who does that?

Everybody.

Okay.

Yeah. Gibbs.

So where are you going?

Tony's going to France.

Oui, oui, monsieur.

Je suis, uh...

Very Special Agent DiNozzo.

The French

do see arrogance as a virtue,

so you'll be welcome there.

But remember, in France,

only tip six percent.

Got a body in Norfolk.

Ooh, that's perfect. You guys can drop me off

on the way, at the airport.

I need to practice a few of these French phrases.

I keep getting 'em wrong.

Six percent.

Not a centime more.

Mmm.

Ooh, hold that door!

Merci.

McGEE: Calling to gloat?

Oh, no.

Tim, I have a very serious question.

What is six percent of 19?

You're gloating, and I'm busy.

What are you doing? Still at a crime scene.

A plumber discovered a body inside of a septic tank

by some off-base housing.

Who's the victim?

Don't know yet. He's really wedged in there,

and Ducky didn't want to risk cutting the tank,

so we flipped a coin to see who's gonna go in there

and pull him out manually.

You used my trick coin, didn't you?

Well, with you gone, I had a 50-50 shot

and I could not risk losing it. The smell is horrible.

Oh, yeah. I hear you. It's kind of like how the flight

was overbooked on the way out, and, uh,

I got bumped up to first class... oh, wait, no, it's not.

Yeah, brag all you want. I'm just happy

I'm not going in the tank.

Put it on. You're going in the tank.

Boss, no, we-we had an arrangement.

Ciao.

Bonjour. Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.

I brought pastries.

Police!

Sometimes I love my job.

And sometimes...

I have to crawl inside a giant septic tank.

Well, it could be worse. How?

Well, I could have to... climb in there with you. (LAUGHS)

Hmph!

You get the I.D. on the victim yet?

Mr. Mush Fingers?

The body was too waterlogged to pull a print

and, sadly, he left home

without his American Express card or his wallet.

But the body was weighted down with rocks.

Probably to keep it from clogging the exit drain.

Yeah, but the (PHONE RINGS) rocks had to come from somewhere,

so they could tell us something.

Hey, DiNozzo. What's up?

Is this Inspector Gibbs? Special Agent Gibbs.

Where is Special Agent DiNozzo? Don't worry. He's fine.

However, I cannot say the same for everyone else in your office here.

- Why is Agent DiNozzo in cuffs? Cuffs?

Because they are dead and he is not.

Wait, wait. Who is dead?

Release him. Now.

Merci.

De rien.

Brief your superior. Then we talk.

Gibbs, this is DiNozzo.

They're all dead. I came into the NCIS office,

everyone was dead.

Gunned down. Looks like close range.

Smells recent.

You said everyone?

What about Amanda? All five NCIS employees.

Understood. You all right?

Yeah, I'm fine. I got a lot of...

people here keeping me safe.

Understood. I got to brief Vance.

You get someplace private and you call me back.

It's a date.

Did you know them?

No. Not personally. But, uh...

No, I-I understand.

My condolences.

Gerard tells me you were here for, um...

Uh, what is it called again?

Internet security seminar. Really?

Mmm. Mmm.

Usually computer experts are not so, uh...

so.

Are you flirting with me at a crime scene, Inspector?

No. Maybe. I don't know. Does it matter?

Your timing could be better.

Maybe you're only uncomfortable

because you're not used to being a witness.

Speaking of which, do you know this person?

No.

She entered through the front door, but...

a witness saw her crawl out a back window,

so at the moment, she's our only suspect.