NCIS

Freeze! Metro police.

Oh, my God.

Get the bomb squad down here.

Yes, sir. Dispatch, this is Metro...

Release the balloon.

Turn around,

terrorist bastard.

Aristotle banana split.

== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man

I would never release

a deadly gas into a crowded arena.

Actually, it's just the VIP suite.

What? You would be planning and executing

a sarin gas attack on the VIP suites.

That's the game.

You're not helping yourself here, Earl.

I-It's a simulation. A-A test of security.

Intelligence chatter mentioned something about

terror groups with sarin.

So I hire thinkers

to brainstorm and carry out plans

to identify our weaknesses.

You'll be providing a great service

to the Department of Homeland Security.

Earl, how many think tank operations

have you executed in the past few years?

20-ish.

And I've turned you down 20-ish times.

You're one of the best minds in criminology.

You're perfect.

And I never get tired of hearing that.

I'll see you...

...at church.

Oh...

Abby, please.

My first two thinkers have confirmed, but my third--

she called me this morning and-and canceled.

She got stuck in the Himalayas

researching superhuman monks.

Really. She's a Harvard divinity professor.

Brilliant.

But she's nothing compared to you.

See, you have fought terror.

Who better to create it?

You're gonna have to find someone else.

- It's too late. - Why?

The concert's in two days and we've hit a dead end.

Without you...

I'm gonna have to scrap the whole thing.

Earl, I can't be a bad guy.

Even if it's just pretend.

Sorry.

That's Earl Goddard.

Friend of yours?

No, I wish. I...

I've written him, like, a dozen essays

trying to get his attention.

We really should have a talk.

He's with Homeland Investigations.

Runs their think tank operations.

They get the best good guys to figure out

what the best bad guys would do.

It's like the ultimate chess game.

I-I'd kill to join. You know,

Abby gets recruited for those all the time.

She what?

Yep. I mean,

yeah, no, that makes, that makes perfect sense.

Don't worry, I-I always turn him down.

You what?

I could put a good word in for you...

Really?

Thanks. Wait, why would you turn him down?

I mean, wouldn't you want to help save the world?

Abby, don't give in.

Living on the dark side's not for everybody.

It can get to you.

Especially when you realize how easy it is to be bad.

Oh, man, it's depressing.

Exhausting. But wickedly exciting.

I miss it so much.

And therein lies the problem.

What if I enjoyed it?

Well, you should. I mean,

what's more exciting than a terror attack?

We really should have a talk.

A fake terror attack.

I would still feel guilty.

But the danger's not real.

It is.

- To Abby. - Right.

A jumpy security guard sees Abby with a bomb,

she might not have time to explain that it's fake.

Yeah, but they use safety protocols.

Look, it takes a certain twisted personality

to think like a killer. Abby doesn't have it.

Excuse me? No, I mean it as a compliment.

Unless... Evil Abby really exists?

I would rather not find out.

Good work requires good people.

Yeah, that's what Homeland said.

Director.

They called you?

Begged is more like it.

My NCIS caseload is...

Is now empty.

These operations are very important to the higher-ups.

Including me.

Wait, wait.

Is that an order?

Yes. Go be a bad guy.

Lucky.

Aristotle banana split.

Stop saying that.

Gibbs. NCIS.

Listen, the only reason you and I are still talking

is because the bomb squad said that your little bomb

was clock timers stuck in modeling clay.

So you want to tell me what the hell's going on?

Aristotle banana split.

Hey, Abbs.

Gibbs. NCIS.

See, now those are the only two words that this woman has said

that make any sense.

So I called you here to explain.

Okay.

Why hasn't she?

Because in the event that I got caught,

I'm only supposed to use the safety phrase,

"Aristotle banana split."

Except nobody in the arena,

or human history, has ever heard that before.

It's supposed to prove that I'm working with Homeland

to test the arena security.

This is a simulation. Is that true?

Mm-hmm. Well, somebody screwed up.

This is the first I'm hearing of this. We had to evacuate

the whole damn building.

How'd you get caught?

She tripped a motion sensor.

No way.

I studied the blueprints.

I didn't fail.

Well, I think you're missing the bigger problem here.

What exactly was this, uh, simulated plan?

Detonate balloons

that are supposedly full of deadly gas

into the air vents.

But it was all fake.

And pretty damn evil.

I was ordered to do it.

I need to make a phone call.

Can you take off my handcuffs?

Live ordinates coming through!

Open buffer...

Lock it down!

Move! Pressurizing!

All clear!

What the hell?

Your fake bomb

just made a real explosion.

I'm not a terrorist.

I don't think.

- Abby. - McGee, finally.

What is happening? They won't tell me anything.

It's not good.

This is my nightmare.

The only thing missing is Vance riding in on demon wings

to fire me. Well, that makes sense.

I usually wake up when his moustache

turns into a snake. Well, this ain't a dream.

When the bomb squad removed the third explosive,

they found C-4 hidden inside.

What about the balloons?

They all contained several drops

of liquid sarin.

Hardly noticeable.

But enough to kill hundreds

of people if it was exposed to air.

Hence the biohazard team.

We've been double-crossed.

Someone used the think tank.

And I plan to find out who.

Director, is this our case?

It is now.

We'll coordinate with Homeland.

I just fought with Metro for custody of Miss Sciuto.

Custody, like...

Guantanamo? No, Hardly.

I'm the one that told you to do this in the first place.

Could we please remove these handcuffs?

Where the hell is Earl Goddard?

I have no idea.

Still hasn't answered our calls.

We were gonna search the arena.

Go.

Wait, what time is it?

The team

was supposed to meet Earl back at his hotel room

to debrief after the operation.