Ozark

(ON LAPTOP) Ladies and gentlemen,

...the story you're about to see is true.

Their names have been changed to protect the innocent.

This is the city. Los Angeles, California.

Like other great cities, it is home to all kinds of schools...

...where you can get most any kind of education.

All these schools are accredited. There's one that is not.

It holds its classes in the cracks and crevices of the city.

Because of it, I have a job. I carry a badge.

It was Wednesday, December 17th.

We were working the day watch out of Burglary Division.

My partner is Frank Smith.

The boss is Captain Barnard. My name is Friday, and I'm a cop.

(ON RECORDING) ...back to normal, okay?

– All right? Marty.

Hmm?

They're gonna find you. They're gonna...

– They're gonna find you. – ( KNOCK ON DOOR )

They're gonna lock...

– Yeah? – People are complaining.

You mean the one other person that's here?

There's people in here yappin' all night.

Well, look, there's no one here but me.

Keep it down, okay?

...lock you up. Or they're gonna kill you.

– ( INDISTINCT CHATTER ON LAPTOP ) – ( CHUCKLES )

"No, there's nothing inconspicuous here."

"We're all just gonna walk in together. Is that okay?"

"Oh."

"Yeah, well, we all shop at the same store, but that won't tip them off."

Dead.

Dead, dead, dead.

What's up?

– You tell me. – (CHUCKLES) What?

Get the fuck out of here.

– Go on, beat it. Get the fuck out of here. – Kickers.

– What? – Kickers, cotton, Percs.

– Whatever the fuck you got. – Yeah, well, I don't got shit.

– Oh, really, motherfucker? – Yeah.

Nothing?

– Get out of there. All right. All right!

Piece of shit. You don't have shit?

Shit. No, I bet you fucking don't.

Fucking... Come on. Where the fuck are they?

I ain't got shit. – You fucking piece of...

Fucking asshole.

(ON LAPTOP) You heard his story.

You can't arrest a man just because he doesn't talk.

I'm afraid that was the trouble.

What do you mean by that?

Maybe he loved you too much.

(ON RECORDING) You're late.

(ON RECORDING) I'm sorry about that.

That's the...

...letters. Compliance or some shit.

– I don't really understand. It's things they asked for.

This should get it done. What you doing? Ow! Ow! What the fuck are you doing?

I'm just trying to see if Marty Byrde has some feelings.

Look, I need to know what the plan is with Byrde.

Dude, what's your deal?

My deal is I want to stop wiping other people's asses, finally.

Wyatt is smart, you know. He could go to college.

You want him saddled with that debt?

You barely care if he goes to high school.

He can miss a few days with that brain of his.

If you want that cash so bad, you do it.

But you, were the one who learned to clean it.

– ( PETTY MOANS ) – That was the whole plan.

Get out of my way. No.

Just say, you'll try it again.

You're acting fucking weird.

I just wanna make sure you're holding up your end.

Kill Marty Byrde and get his money.

What are you guys doing?

Maybe they'll get hungry.

You think PETA came here and let them roam free? They were stolen.

Who's coming here to steal bobcats?

I don't know, maybe someone with male cats, that can actually breed them.

They were Dad and Uncle Boyd's. It's bullshit.

You might feel, alone in the world.

But, you just gotta ask yourself,

...why do you feel depressed?

Because I'm here.

Okay, sir, just bear with me, okay?

Why do you feel, like a loser?

Well, you know what? It's a one-word answer. You.

See, all that self-pity, it just doesn't exist.

It's all in your head.

Now, see, he left because he couldn't take...

...reality, hitting him with a cold smack in the face.

Well, I'm that cold, hard smack in the face.

You have really found your calling.

– You think? Mm-hmm.

Well, I don't know what Mom would say.

Man, the audience is growing.

Hey, sorry about that heckler jerk. That's rare.

I know your business is really growing,

...but I was just wondering how you might feel...

...about making some supplemental income.

For when you take the show on the road.

Well, I don’t want to be a "no" person, without hearing the offer first.

As you say, "no" people miss out.

You've been reading my pamphlet.

Who's better? Biggie or Tupac?

I don't know. Tupac, I guess.

No, it's Biggie.

Did you know his parents are from Jamaica, and he didn't write down his raps?

– How do you know this stuff? – From Ruth, and Wikipedia.

What's Charlotte doing out there?

Uh, she is working here again.

– It's the off-season. Not much to do. – Mm-hmm.

Well, better than the alternative,

...which consisted of her quitting the swim team...

...so she could smoke weed all day.

So you thought it'd be better to include her in your family business?

– What are those? – It's for the gaming commission.

Everything's gotta be reviewed before they can make a recommendation.

You worried?

Why should I?

All right.

How you doing?

Can I get a Corona when you get a chance? No lime.

Did you know he was coming in this morning?

No.

From now on, you're wearing a wire all the time.

– What? – Yeah.

I need verbal evidence that he's laundering...

...so I can get a search warrant.

– And have no privacy? Fuck that. – Fuck you, and your privacy.

I'm coming at him from all sides.

So if you're not part of the solution, you got big fucking problems.

So don't stand there and pretend like you have any choices.

What are you doing? What the hell's that?

It's a bug detector. Charlie gave it to me.

Charlie, huh?

Yeah. He thinks it's the feds that are shutting down our businesses.

The feds? It could be any number of senators or special interests.

Why would he lie?

Maybe because he's attracted to you,

...and he wants to keep the stench off himself?

Oh, please.

Yeah, well, I mean, how do you know it's not Wilkes talking to the feds?

How do you know he didn't just give you a device with a bug in it?

Look, all I know is the person who planted that bug Ruth found...

...is still out there. I don't think we should trust anyone.

But if what he says is true,

...what is the endgame of shutting down our businesses?

And how did your partners acquire their assets?

A ceramic tiling business, initially. And then they were contracted...

...for nearly half the condominium projects in Chicago.

And real estate.

Mm-hmm. They made a killing near Wrigleyville.

– Ugh. Cubs fans. Mmm-hmm.

Well, to each his own.

I have to say,

...it doesn't look good that all of your operations were cited on the same day.

Well, I can't imagine that everyone's happy about us opening a casino.

It's not open yet.

All right. A Ms. Rachel Garrison, runs the Blue Cat.

As for the Lickety Splitz, who's in charge there?

Might as well get Mr. fucking Rogers to play the boss.

– You ever even been in a strip club? – A couple times.

– (SCOFFS) You ever tend bar? – Well, no.

So then, what did you do?

Well, I was a real estate agent, and now I give motivational speeches.

Can you say something to motivate me to train your ass?

Um...

– Oh, okay. Uh... – I'm kidding. Please don't.

So, here's the register.

And we just got a new computer system installed,

...so we're not stuck in the Stone Ages.

Who's the cutie?

– You working here now? – I'm Sam.

Jade.

I'm sorry. Is it break time?

Because that stage looks fucking empty to me.

You like her, don't you?

– Yeah, she seems nice. – Hmm.

That chord change always did fuck with you.

Just the opening.

Here.

It was D minor...

...to A...

...to F.

You try.

Fuck, man.

I really wish you were here.

Yeah, me, too.

How's Three doing?

Okay.