Gidget

You see before you... me, Gidget.

For 15 and a half years, my life was a complete and total ick.

But then, on the 23rd of June, two things happened.

I fell in love... with two things...

Jeff, my Moondoggie,

and surfing.

I am happy to report that falling in love...

was as easy and natural as learning how to surf.

The moment we met, we knew we were meant for each other.

Get lost.

I'll never forget the first time he told me he loved me.

Hey, what was your name again?

You know somethin'? You are kinda cute.

Jeff and I drifted happily through the summer months.

Ours was a world of sun and fun and all the wonders of young romance...

Until the night I suddenly realized...

Jeff soon would be going back east to college...

and I'd be left facing a different world.

Well, more about that later.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, there are some people I'd like you to meet.

This, loosely speaking, is my family.

The handsome, sensible-looking set of tweeds is my father.

He's only the best English professor at UCLA...

and the most terrific father living...

Mainly because he makes a practice of not working at it.

The one over by the window, chewing her fingernails down to the nub,

is my sister, Anne...

Miss "name your psychosis" of the year.

Her heart's in the right place, but, ever since Mother died,

Annie's maternal instinct has been working overtime.

And she gets plenty of help from that other character...

who happens to be an A1, first-class nut.

He's her husband, John, and he's studying to be a psychologist.

Which is great, because if ever anybody needed a headshrinker,

it's Sister Annie.

But you know how it is. The shoemaker's kids go barefoot...

and the psychologist's wife stays flaky.

Dad. It is now five minutes after 11:00.

That late? Well, by all means, you two run along home.

That's not what I meant. I mean Gidget.

Why isn't she home? What's she doing at this hour?

Here.

I don't know what she's doing, but I am blitzing your husband.

Oh, no, you're not. Gin.

Oh, yes, you are.

Dad. You're being entirely too permissive with Gidget.

She's right, Russ.

Permissiveness is out. Strong discipline is in.

Okay. How about disciplining yourself...

to pay me $3.75?

You see? You see? You wonder where she gets it?

From you. You ignore emotional problems...

and concern yourself only with mundane facts.

And... here's his most mundane.

- Hi. - Hi, sweetie.

Gidget, do you realize it is now five minutes after 11:00?

That late?

Well, then by all means, you two run along.

Oh, Dad, will you talk to her? Absolutely.

Have fun?

Mildly tragic. I have a problem.

I've had a couple of my own this evening.

I'm getting a sense of deep hostility.

Now who's looking only at facts?

Good night, everyone. I have to go upstairs and suffer.

What does she mean by that?

It probably means that she's had some slight

difference of opinion with Jeff,

which will no doubt mark her for life.

You think not? You think not? I think not.

Good night, children. And I use the word advisedly.

Good night, Dad.

Larue! Will you please not argue?

I need your help. I'm utterly destroyed.

Don't tell me. You broke up with Jeff.

No. Just the opposite. I still have his ring.

And this destroys you? I should have such destruction.

You don't understand, Larue.

Of course it's wonderful having his ring,

but suddenly, driving home, it hit me...

that I'm all this younger than he is.

He found out you're only 15 and a half?

Oh, no. I'm still 16 to him.

The point is, he'll be going back to Princeton next week.

And going steady may be fine for him at his age,

but it just doesn't seem right that I should sit around for the whole year...

and die on the vine.

Well, actually, it wouldn't be fair to him.

I mean, what man, when he gets married,

wants to have as a wife some unsophisticated dodo...

who's never been around or met people or anything?

I guess you got a problem. What are you gonna do about it?

I'm not sure yet.

I've gotta do some heavy thinking.

Honey. Just a minute.

Gotta hang up... visit from the parent. Talk to you tomorrow.

Hi. They go?

Yeah. Boy, they act 180 years old... apiece.

It's a good thing they got married. Saves two other people.

That's a fine way to talk about your sister.

Oh, Annie's all right. She means well. But John...

Dad, do you really think John will ever make it... being a psychologist?

That's what he's studying for.

Personally, I think it's a toss-up...

Whether they'll let him practice or... put him away.

Something go wrong this evening? Any real problems?

Nothing I can't mishandle myself.

Just normal agony. Yeah.

That's good.

Good night. Good night.

I called Jeff this morning and told him straight out...

that it would be best for his sake if I continued to date...

even if he didn't.

He agreed to think it over and call me back.

Meanwhile, to pass the time of day,

I decided to make some extra entries in my diary.

"And then, dear diary, I knew I had no choice but to give in,

and he kissed me as he's never kissed me before."

And I... And I got goose pimples all over.

Blech.

And I fainted dead away?

Yech.

Sank into nothingness.

Just a sec.

Sank...

into...

nothingness.

Oh, hi, Jeff.

Hi. Hold it. Sisterville.

If you're looking for Dad, he's at the office.

No. I was just out shopping and...

Well, actually, I stopped by to see you, Gidget.

Oh?

Okay. Rest the bones.

Thanks.

Um, as John says,

when a girl your age stays out until all hours...

and then comes home with a problem,

there has to be some deep-rooted whatchamacallit.

And I thought...

Well, what I'm really trying to say is,

why don't you and I have a little talk, dear?

Well, sure, but could we make it some other time?

This happens to be an awfully busy year.

Oh, certainly. We can...

Dear.

Jeff, don't interrupt.

I've got something very important to talk to you about.

"Sank into nothingness"?

But, Jeff, you don't understand.

Of course I understand, Gidge. I think you've got an excellent point.

The only difference is each of us will date others... for both our sakes.

Both date? But that's the most unfair thing I ever heard of.

You wanna date other women?

That's all our love... the whole summer, the beach... has meant to you?

In that case, I never want to see you or the Pacific Ocean again.

Only the direst emergency could ever make me go back there.

Now I've gotta have a dire emergency.

Larue.

John? Oh, John, you were so right about Gidget.

If only Daddy had listened to you.

Oh, it's terrible. The worst.

Well, I warned him. It was obvious that was the way she was heading.

Listen, darling, meet me at Dad's office right away, and we'll tell him.

Excellent idea.

Anne! Wait. Tell him what?

What's the panic? What happened?

The worst.

What's all that stuff, for gosh sakes? Protection.

How many times do I have to tell you? I'm allergic to the sun.

Please. That's the least of my problems.

We headed for the beach, and I had plenty of time...

to mull over my discovery that being honest isn't always the best policy.

But if you're honest,

all you can do is settle back and live with the trouble it brings.

I was telling Larue... never, never try to deal honestly with a man.

They simply do not know how to cope with it.

When a woman like myself comes along...

and tries to be direct, open, honest, completely unselfish,

it throws them for a loop.

Well, I've learned my lesson. I'm through with Jeff once and for all.

You're through with him? Then what are we doing at the beach?

I'm gonna give him a second chance.

Now that he's had time to think things over,

I'll bet he's as upset and overwrought as I am.

He doesn't look so overwrought to me.

That's because you're not in love with him.

When you're in love, you see things differently.

You sure do, but I still don't see where I figure in all this.

Simple. You are a dire emergency.

Obviously, I can't just walk up to him and offer him a second chance.

Why not? I do it all the time.

Can I help it if my very best friend...

insists on coming to the beach and makes me come with her?

What can I do? I'm warning you.