Workaholics

Oh, yeah. Mmm.

Good year. Good year.

And then I'm just gonna pulse it, pulse it, pulse it.

Bam, done. Okay.

Who wants a Strawberry Latte Bull?

What is that?

Well, it's our three favorite morning beverages.

I'm talking strawberry Quik, decaf coffee, and Red Bull.

- Adam? - Okay. Please.

No, not while I'm handling firearms,

which are what I'm calling my arms now

'cause my muscles are on fire from all this sling-shooting.

- Whatever. - Ders, first up.

- Okay. - There you go, buddy.

- Nice and frothy. Mmm. - Mmm.

- Mmm. - Mm-mm.

Mm-mm? What?

- Not good at all. - Not good?

- That's surprising. - That's... yeah.

But I'm gonna choke this one down

because it is symbolic of our friendship.

And that's why you are the quarterback

- of our friendship. - Okay.

So this is what the world's coming to.

Oh, my gosh, this is what the world's coming to.

That's what the world's coming to.

Mm-hmm.

- News boobies. - Yeah.

I couldn't to that if I tried.

- Mm. - And I have, actually.

I used to jerk off to a Sears catalog all the time.

Or was it JCPenney's?

Could have been Cabela's, but the chicks were super hot.

- Similar... similar vibes. - Mm. Cabela babe.

- - Oh, sh...

- What'd you do? - Ah, I just shot it!

- Oh, direct hit! - What? No, no, no.

Hit it right in the face, right in the beak.

- Oh, God, we got to save it. - We got to save her.

- Yeah, no, it's gargling. - No, we have to save her.

- It's gargling. - Dude, Blake. Hey, whoa, whoa.

- Stop, man, it's too late. - It's never too late.

Here, you know what?

Just look at these news boobies.

- Oh, yeah. - Those are nice.

Yeah, so I was just thinking, maybe at lunch

we could do the proper Magic Johnson hook shot burial,

you know, since he went out like that.

Yeah, but he died in a pool.

- There's honor in that. - Poor little dude.

Actually, I don't even know if it's a dude

because, you know, bird dicks are notoriously hard to locate.

I've been looking all morning.

I've actually spent my childhood locating bird dicks.

- Really? - You guys do that.

- I'm gonna do anything else. - You've got to pinch it.

- Yeah. - Hold that.

- You got to pinch it. - Ah.

They call me Trilly Zane.

Am I the guy that took Rancho Cuca Pizza's

Twitter followers from 200 to 2,100 in 13 months?

Have I left over 20,000 Yelp reviews?

Do I DM with Rainn Wilson on the reg?

You bet your SoulPancakes I do.

I have no idea what this guy's talking about,

but he seems... pretty cool.

I came here to do two things...

destroy old media paradigms

and increase sales using the power of viral marketing.

And it looks like we're almost out of old media paradigms.

Was that funny?

- Oh. - I don't know.

But I thought it was an appropriate time to laugh.

- Hey, who is that guy? - He's really funny.

What? Oh, it's me.

- Whoa! - All: Oh!

Oh, you're the guy from the video that we just watched.

- I just got... - It's me. Trilly Zane.

- Hey, what up? - Oh, yeah, pound it.

- Very cool. - Yeah, no doubt. No doubt.

- Definitely, cool. - Oh, okay. I'll take one. Boom.

Sorry to crash the party,

but as you know, millennials are a huge emerging demo.

- Yeah, I've heard that. - I get that, yeah.

For sure, millennials.

And they're jacked into their devices 24/7,

so that means we got to get you guys up on all the socials,

blasting out content, jacking up hits, stacking up followers.

Jacking and stacking, baby.

And then convert all those followers into sales.

And that sounds pretty dope, right?

There is also all-expenses-paid work trip to the Virality Awards

in Lake Havasu to whoever has the highest Klout Score.

- Havasu? Oh, my God. Dude! - Lake Havasu, right?

You're talking about the place where basically

it's all stepmoms with pasties on their boobs...

Okay.

Cruising on speedboats, getting turnt? Yeah.

Nothing but energy drinks and freakin' plan B pills, baby!

That's the kind of life I want to live!

- Okay. - My plan A is plan B.

- Uh-oh. - Oh!

- Y'all forgot something. - The birds.

Great birdwatching.

Yeah, the... uh, yeah, I guess, sure.

Wait, uh, Klout Score? How do we get to Havasu?

Oh, oh, I know what it is.

It's like a test you take on Facebook,

- tells you how German you are. - Oh, right.

- Like Ancestry dot... yeah. - No.

Oh, I thought it was like a score

that you get from eating a ton of sauerklout

on, uh, like, a bratwurst.

- Okay, we got this, then. - Sure.

No. Klout is this super-chill metric that tells you

your social impact across all platforms.

- Whoo, we talking Klout? - 'Cause I got Klout like a mug.

Okay, I'm a beast on Black Twitter,

- like #bootyhadmelikehoo. - Mm.

Then I bust out a bunch of hilarious tweets,

and I stay getting faves.

Heck yeah. Okay. Tez, on fleek.

Tez is on fleek.

You look like human banana pudding.

Stay fleeking.

- Okay, buddy, let's go. - Okay, ready?

- We are the @3BestFrandz. - 3BestFrandz.

Yeah, and you are tuned into our YouTube page.

- So welcome. - That's right.

Let's introduce ourselves, I guess.

- Okay. - Okay, yeah.

My name's Anders. Call me Ders, though.

Um, who am I? I'm like...

I guess I'm like a country club bad boy, right?

And, uh, I enjoy Phil Collins hits and Tom Collins mix.

Also, I slam 40s and listen to Ty Dolla $ign, though.

So, like, I'm like a cornucopia of fun. Okay.

- Sick. Great job. - All right.

Really, that was solid.

Okay, yeah, hey. What's up? It's Blake, the hair one.

Okay, um, yeah.

I'm just, like, a super-chill laid-back dude,

jokester kind of guy, but also, like,

I get, like, really, like, stressed

and, like, total... have, like, anxiety

in most social situations.

Next person. Please, please.

Go. Go. Bail me out. Bail me out.

Yo, what up?

It's Ad-Rock, yeah, boy!

Um, I like, uh...

I like, uh, doing all kinds of stuff.

I like getting weird, and I like working out.

And sometimes I like just chilling and not working out.

And sometimes I, like, smash, like, 42 beers.

And other times I'll just, you know,

just have... just have two, like a-a nice stout.

- Sick. - Cool.

- And, uh, again, we are... - Nailed it.

- All: @The3BestFrandz. - Okay.

- With an A. - Hashtag.

Thanks for watching.

Tickle.

Hey, don't!

- You did great. - You were good.

- Honestly, really good stuff. - I was good.

Thank you. And so was I, though, you can...

- It goes around. - It goes around.

All right, Tres Delinquentes.

What does that say right there?

- Two views. - Yeah.

It says people are not engaging with your brands.

You've got to focus more on curating

your individual personas.

I mean, Blake, you're a super-chill millennial teen,

so don't go around telling me that you've got anxiety.

Now go bust out some super-chill rando vids on Snapchat

with this rad land paddleboard.

Oh, all right. Yeah.

- I like that. That's cool. - Yeah.

So we're selling these now?

He is. You're selling 9/11 memorabilia

because you are a mature all-American conservative.

You are human khakis.

Yeah, I mean, 9/11. Love it, but Ty Dolla $ign...

Forget about Ty Dolla $ign. Never forget about 9/11.

Sure, yeah.

So now go jump on LinkedIn.

Link out with your dink out.

- Sick. - Okay, now do me. Do me.

Have you ever heard of a man named Dan Bilzerian?

Dan Bilzerian? From Instagram?

He's like... he's like... isn't he...

he's like my hero.

I freakin' carry a photo of him in my pocket.

He's just scratching his beard. "What am I thinking of?"

I'll tell you what he's thinking of:

pussy, money, respect.

Yeah.

And I got all those things.