The House on Sorority Row

I told you to keep an eye on her!

I was. It came on so suddenly.

Get some towels and another pillow.

There may still be a chance.

Get her ready.

She's the last one.

Where's my baby?

Where's my baby?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Slater.

No.

No!

No!

Does anybody have a hairbrush? I can't find it anywhere!

I just hope there are enough bags to carry all this.

Well, we moved it on here in the same bags, Mom.

Does anyone ever clean that pool?

Hardly.

Mrs. Slater says she's not paying anyone to clean it if we never use it.

How are we supposed to use it if it's always dirty?

Yeah. It sounds like Mrs. Slater, all right.

Well, we've just had the pool man over,

so you can swim all summer while you're at home.

I'm not moving back home, Mom.

This has nothing to do with you.

I just have a lot to think about.

Like what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.

Well, don't you think after four years of college

you'd have a start in those decisions?

Katie, stop packing!

Hi, Mrs. Rose, how you doing?

Katie, come here a second.

I just want you to stay till Friday to help set things up.

How about it?

By Friday, we're going to have this place looking outrageous!

Come on, yes or no?

All six of us are staying.

Ok.

Great!

By the way, don't worry about a date for Friday night.

-I went ahead and fixed you up! -You what?

No need to thank me! Ciao!

Yes?

Thank you. You can send her right in.

They're just asking for talks.

You've got to reconsider.

My mind is made up.

I intend to spend this summer as I've spent all the rest.

But the environment here is so much more helpful.

I told you, there'll be no one at the house.

It was closed for three months today.

I understand, but anything might happen.

At least here, we're prepared to handle it.

His condition is getting worse. You know it as well as I do.

We both knew the risks.

For 20 years, you've been blaming me for what happened.

Don't you see?

You're living in a fantasy world.

You've got to forget the past.

Live with what you have today.

You have done a good job of forgetting.

Well, I never will.

If you try to stop me from living as I please,

I'll see that what you did is remembered.

I've had a new tag made.

This must be worn at all times,

just in case there are any problems.

There'll be no problems.

Good day.

Vicki, where you taking me?

Just wait.

Holy shit, look at this place.

Is it deserted enough for ya?

Come on, let me try it.

Do like I told you, though, all right?

Yeah, yeah, I will, I will.

Aim it at that sack over there.

Ok.

Will you get off me?

Go on, pull the trigger. Just...

All right, all right.

Come on, come on up front, I'll start this time.

-Ok. -A toast to law school.

May it be the three shortest years of my life.

I hope so!

Ok, ok.

Here is to reaching my fullest capacity.

Bout a quart and a half!

Here's to Pan Am, my new employer.

May they never find out I'm scared of flying!

To my mother,

who never let me forget I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth.

Mama, you were wrong... It's up my nose!

Come on, Katie.

Ok.

I wanna thank you all.

Noo, no

No, I'm serious.

I wanna thank you all for helping me become what I am today.

Wasted!

Morgan, it's your turn.

We realize this takes a lot of thinking, Morgan.

Ok.

A toast to... to...

God, I'm... excuse me!

God!

What are you girls doing here?

Who, us?

The house is closed.

What are you girls doing here?

Well...

You tell her, Diane.

It's all very simple, Mrs. Slater.

We had to move the graduation party from the Silver Bear.

Move it?

Insufficient funds.

So, we...

We're having the party here.

Really?

We're only staying a couple of extra days

to set it up.

And whose idea was all this?

Well, Vicki thought the house would be the perfect place, and we all agreed.

Vicki.

Where is she?

We haven't seen her.

I'll speak to her later.

As for you girls,

how could you even think of having a drunken spree in my house?

There'll be no party here.

The house is closed.

I want you all out by tomorrow.

Good night.

Sheesh.

The wicked witch of the west strikes again.

She can't kick us out, can she?

No way. The bylaws say we can stay.

Like always, she's just flapping her wings.

Why does she always close the house on June 19th?

Every other house stays open through the weekend.

Who knows?

-She's retiring, anyways. -Nuh-who said?

-I heard talk about it. -I can't believe it!

-She's an institution around here. -She's the sorority mascot.

Yeah, the house jackass.

Well, maybe this place'll finally get a normal house mother.

The kind who sits in her room and drinks tea.

She is different.

Just a shame she's gotten so weird.

She used to lend a little tradition to the house, you know?

Slater is the last of her breed.

When she goes, the species'll be extinct.

Let's propose a toast.

To Mrs. Slater.

The house mother to end all house mothers.

Yeah, that's for sure.

Wait a minute. Not here.

Why not? We always do it here.

Not tonight.

Count to 20, I'll meet you upstairs.

-What? -Count to 20, Rick.

Vicki?

Vicki?

Vicki?

Look what daddy bought his little girl.

You filth!

Trash like you doesn't belong in my house.

Slater, I'm going to kill you!

You bitch!

I'll get back at you if it's the last thing I do!

You hear me, goddamn it!

-Vicki, what are you doing? -Bitch!

Vicki, what are you doing?

We can't swim the damn thing, anyway,

what's the difference?

Jesus.

How was that romantic little skinny-dip last night?

You shut up.

-Chill out. -My water bed got slashed to pieces,

and all I should is joke about it?

I'm telling you guys, she tried to kill me!

Come on, Vicki, you deserved it.

Can't you fuck anywhere else?

Mrs. Slater really flipped.

She's never gone that crazy before.

Wait till the party.

God, when she sees the liquor, she'll have a stroke.

To hell with her.

Sick of worrying about what Slater thinks.

We run this house!

For four years, we've had to put up with her and her shit!

She's right, that lady's been a royal pain in the ass.

Yeah, well there's been a million times

that bitch has screwed us all over.

We can't let her get away with this time, right?

Do you have something in mind, or are you just exercising your mouth again?

Yeah, I do have something in mind.

Slater wants things to be as they used to be, right?

Ok.

Well, how about if we give her a good old-fashioned sorority prank?

Yeah. That's a good idea.