Crime Busters (I due superpiedi quasi piatti)

Thanks Sam.

Out of the way.

Any chance of yours truly pickin' up some change?

Nothin' doin'

What do you mean nothin' doin'?

The tubs just come in.

You got all your guys out on jobs.

I can unload it all by myself if you want.

I told ya no way.

Why not?

Eh, it's nothin' personal.

I'm just followin' the boss's orders.

And who is the boss around here?

Ask them.

Trouble?

No I was just askin' him if there's any chance

of pickin' up a job, you dig?

Sure, just kick back 20%.

Yeah but if we give you the 30%

there won't be nothin' left.

We gotta eat.

Already you're too fat, keep slim.

It's better for your health, now get movin'.

Alright, if I don't eat, I can't go to the toilet.

And if I can't go to the toilet,

it makes me nervous and unhappy and that aint so good.

Aww it's a flat.

Hey dummy!

Now, why didn't you tell me there was a cart of junk, huh?

Have a nice day.

I oughta take care of that bastard.

Not now!

We got other fish to fry.

You, get another car.

Yes boss, right away.

Come back here you spaghetti head!

You ain't jumpin' ship you owe me five bucks!

So long suckers!

Get that son of a bitch!

Sorry friend!

Hey did you see where that guy went?

Yeah he was runnin' towards the exit of the port.

Lost him.

Hey you okay?

I've been better.

I don't know why you did it but thanks anyway.

You're a buddy.

I prefer to help somebody who considers me a friend

and not just another chop suey.

Is there anything I can do for you?

Don't worry it's a small world

and sooner or later one meets again.

Out of the way.

Hey chief, I got my stomach glued to my backbone.

Got any work for me?

Join the union.

Give me a break, there's a freighter out there

waiting to be unloaded.

Get lost.

Something wrong?

This greaser wants work.

Listen sparrow, you flap your wings on outta here

unless you wanna wear 'em in a sling.

Did you call me a sparrow?

Yeah.

Hmm, did you say you're gonna break my wings?

Yeah.

That's what I thought.

Let's see you do it.

Sorry boss.

You asked for it Holly.

Sorry boss!

Sorry boss.

Oh no.

So long.

Get another car.

Yes boss.

Beat it.

Right away.

Look Mac, you're on the wrong side.

Trucks to the right.

Put your blinker on, back up, and make way.

Hey, you're just gonna walk away?

Oh, you're chicken.

I hate that when a guy chickens out, you big yellow belly.

You trying to scare me?

Go on take a walk you big banana.

Hmm.

Get out of my way you little gas bag.

What do you mean get out of your way?

It's me they're after.

You stay here.

Hey!

hey, hey!

Hey, hey!

Where's your boss?

In the office.

Okay let's go move.

Sorry boss.

Don't forget the doors.

They're doing a pretty good job.

Yeah.

Should I get another car boss?

No, call a taxi.

You know buddy, we got a lot in common.

I'm Matt Kirby.

I'm not.

That's a nice name.

A little short maybe.

Why did you bust up their car?

It's a question of toilet bowls.

Oh that makes a lot of sense.

You can't fool around with toilets.

And now that I told you the story of my life,

go take a walk.

I'll be seeing you big banana.

Do you have any reason for hanging around here?

No.

Shove off then.

District Police, Sergeant Adams, how may I help you?

Oh you sure can.

There's a bum just about to commit suicide.

The Rochester Street Canal Bridge.

Thanks, I'll notify the morgue.

But he hasn't done it yet.

Oh well then I'll call the psycho boys.

Meanwhile try to distract him okay?

With what a lollipop?

This guy is a regular bulldozer.

Okay, I'll send an ambulance.

But if he hears it coming he'll jump.

Don't worry, we use a two-door sedan

in these cases, unmarked and it doesn't come

with a siren okay?

Yeah that's perfect.

Okay.

Got some business for the loony bin.

There he is, pull over.

Hi there.

Hi.

How's it goin'?

Fine.

Kind of a nice day isn't it?

Very nice, pretty hot though.

He's right, hot as hell.

If you're hot in that jacket,

why don't you try on this one?

It's the last word.

Hey are you from the loony bin by any chance?

No, no.

Wait a minute, I'm the guy who called the police.

The crazy guy is over there.

He's an 18-wheeler.

Is he dangerous?

Nah, he's like a lamb.

He's just got this thing about toilet bowls.

Toilet bowls?

Yeah.

He says you can't trust the ones they make today.

He wants to end it all.

Mysterious of the human psyche.

Yeah.

The gas?

Right.

What's that?

Sleeping gas.

One whiff and he'll be drowsing off like a bear

in hibernation.

Ha, great.

Stay here.

He might be dangerous.

Okay.

Hi.

Nice town huh?

It sure is.

You call this a town?

It's a big toilet bowl.

The gentleman said it.

It's a toilet bowl.

I don't get that comparison.

Modern toilet bowls are masterpieces of engineering

which this town sure isn't.

They may be masterpieces but where's the joy

of answering the call of nature at sunrise

in the country or by a flowing stream at sunset?

Oh well times have changed.

I have nothing against the toilet bowls of today.

How about you Mr. ?

Either are fine.

What I can't stand is turds like you.

You're rude and antisocial.

Hey what's that a can of mountain air?

Well not exactly.

Would you like to try this on?

Grab him!

Let's go you big banana!

George.

Hey Bernie, how long does it take

to cook two hamburgers?

Man they're ready now if you want them raw.