Before I Fall

Maybe for you there's a tomorrow.

Maybe for you there's 1,000 or 3,000

or 10.

So much time you can bathe in it.

So much time you can waste it.

But for some of us,

there's only today.

And what you do today matters.

In the moment, and maybe into infinity.

But I didn't know any of that until right before I fell.

The thing is, you don't get to know.

You don't wake up with a bad feeling in your stomach

or see shadows move.

If you're like me, you wake up 24 minutes and 47 seconds

before your best friend is supposed to be picking you up.

If you're like me,

your last day starts like this.

Well, I'll let you know by noon.

Well, I can't organize a playdate before...

You want something to eat? No. I'm good.

Sammy, you like the bird I made you?

Morning.

Sammy! What?

You forgot your gloves!

Izzy, how many times do I have to tell you?

Don't touch my stuff.

Go back inside. It's cold.

Hey, sexy. Get in!

Okay.

I love the sky on mornings like this.

Hey.

Greasy forehead, window, off.

I'm gonna try not to be depressed

because I'm single on Cupid Day.

That's Valentine's Day to you!

Do you have insomnia or something, Linds?

Excuse me?

It's just cute that you get up before us and get breakfast.

Ooh. Did she just call me cute, Kingston?

I believe she did, Edgecomb. Mmm-mmm.

Al, Linds doesn't do "cute." No.

It's not in her lexicon. Lexicon? Nice word choice.

Whoo!

Come on.

Seriously?

Okay, this was maybe funny the first bazillion times you did it.

It's still funny. It still is.

Still funny! Love it. Every time.

Yeah, baby!

No texting and driving.

Don't worry. I'd never let my best friend die a virgin.

Ooh!

You didn't think we'd forget, did you?

It's the big day, opening night.

Rob texted me. He said, "I made my bed for you."

That is so sweet. Yes.

No glove, no love. You hear me?

Take it! Take it! Take it!

(CHANTING) Take it! Take it! Take it! Take it!

Shh! Okay, okay...

Watch the road. Oh, my God. Lindsay!

All right. I'm sorry. We're fine. We're fine.

You're crazy!

We're freakin' fine.

(SINGING) Go ahead and say we're through

I don't care, I'll just get another you

I'll get another dude that look like you

I don't need you and you don't need me

Give me back my house key

You can leave it with my new boyfriend

You can leave it on the back back, back porch

I don't care, when you leave it leave a message

A message, a message, a message

You used to never get the message

Yeah, I talk shit

Yeah, she's talkin' shit

Go ahead and say we're through

I don't care I'll just get another you

I'll get another dude that look like you

I don't need you and you don't need me

Give me back my house key

My house key My house key

This could be easy

This could be easy

This could be easy

This could be easy

How many roses did you get last year, Linds?

Twenty-two.

I'm going for 25 this year, though,

and more than one of them better be from Patrick.

Did I tell you I sat next to Rob,

and I had to make him fill out the request form?

It was depressing.

I'd be happy with 15. I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Last year, Matt literally sent me a dozen red roses.

Matt, oh, come on.

You just spent a whole week crying

in the same pair of sweatpants and it got dark.

We're not going back there.

No, I've told you a thousand times, I'll say it again,

you do not need that loser. Honestly.

Mmm-mmm. Nope. You got your real baes here.

Mmm-hmm. We love you. Come here.

Till death do us part. Even then.

Oh, get in here.

Mmm.

All right, bitches, let's move!

Sisyphus, not an STD.

What's he like?

What does it mean when something is described as being Sisyphean?

Does it mean pointless?

Brave?

Late?

Uh, sorry, it was an emergency and a tribulation.

It was a minor LaserJet explosion.

Hope the printer survived.

All right, back to Sisyphus.

What's his character like?

Does he learn from pushing that boulder...

Hey.

Val-a-gram delivery.

Happy Cupid Day. Go ahead.

(STUDENTS CHATTERING EXCITEDLY)

Relax, it's just roses.

Aw, no roses for Anna.

Is that from your boy?

It's from Rob. Yeah.

All right, all right. Keep it down. Keep it down, people.

It's so beautiful.

I'm in heteronormative hell.

Okay, okay, let's hope third time's the charm. Okay?

Sisyphus.

Back to Sisyphus, class.

Yo, Sam. Hey.

Man.

Sam, hey. Hi.

Did you like it? Like what?

Hey, so, um, big party tonight.

Mom is going out of town. Whoa.

A huge rager, you know. Why don't you come, yeah?

I don't know what my plans are,

like, what everyone else ends up doing...

So I'll see you tonight. I don't think so.

Yeah? You know the address. No. Kent...

Smooth.

Did you guys hear about Anna? You mean bull dyke.

Please say she tripped over her nose.

Not yet, but her girlfriend saw this Snap

that we posted with her and that girl.

She straight up dumped her.

See? What?

This is why I deserve some public recognition,

for making shit like that happen.

Maybe someone should give me a ribbon.

Like the ones that you used to have hanging on your wall,

Sammy, remember, from horseback riding?

I was, like, ten years old, Lindsay.

God, Sam, you were such a nerd back then.

Okay, but isn't it weird how that stuff happens?

How things connect in strange ways?

Like if Lindsay didn't post that Snap...

She deserved it.

I'm just saying, it's kinda crazy now.

I saw this video about chaos in the universe... Listen!

How a bird flapping its wings in South America

can create a major rainstorm in New York.

Like how one person can watch a pretentious video about chaos

while three other people actually die of boredom.

It wasn't a YouTube tutorial, so you guys wouldn't get it anyway.

Owie!

Samantha Kingston.

Hi. Hey, Rob.

Did you get my rose? I did.

Who are these ones from?

Your competition. I want to see.

Your competition.

Oh, Sam has no competition, Rob. You know it.

Okay. Well, neither do I, so I guess we're perfect for each other.

So you're going to that thing at Kent's tonight?

I heard he's getting a couple kegs. I don't know.

Yes!

I'll text you later. One more.

No, I'm eating! Get out!

Go. Bye.

You all are too cute. It's gross.

Mmm. Oh, you guys!

Tonight our widdle Sammy passes into womanhood.

I am so proud.

Shh! Stop it.

I hope you shaved.

Oh, my God.

Don't forget to pee before and after.

Guys, guys, sociopath, 12 o'clock.

Oh, God. Does she know what a brush is?

No.

Norma Bates!