Transparent

- Hi. - Hi.

You're not in the music business, are you?

No. Why do you say that?

Because you actually seem like you like music.

- I'm in real estate. - Real estate?

Real... estate.

- Really? - For real.

- For reals? - You're funny.

With a "z"? With a motherfucking "z"?

Oh, God.

Fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, God.

This is intense.

We could do it as a whisper listing.

What's a whisper listing?

It's a private sale, invite only,

- gets the buyers desperate. - I like that.

I like desperate.

And if your dad's house

is in the hilly part of the Palisades,

- it could be worth a fortune. - Yeah.

- 10 million. - Super hilly out there.

- 15 million. - Yeah.

- So hilly. - Just keep going up.

Transparent S01E05

No more secrets.

Yeah, no more secrets.

- This house... - Yeah.

- This summer. -

- Our new life. - Mm-hmm.

It's just you and me now. You know that?

Yeah.

- That feel good? - So good.

What if, like, now that it's in the open,

like, we lose our mojo?

You mean because Barb knows?

Okay, please let's not say her name

while you're fucking me.

All I'm thinking about is you.

- You're my baby. - Get the dick.

Get the dick, get the dick, get the dick!

Okay, I'll get it. Is this what you want, baby?

- That's what I want. - Yeah?

What's happening?

There was just a little tiny... a little carpet fuzz.

- Okay, okay. - I got it.

- -

- Shit. - Yes... what? Fuck.

- Barb. - Please don't get that.

Oh, my God. Honey, I gotta.

There's a... it's co-parent credo.

I gotta get it. Fuck.

Hey, Barb. Wait. What's going on with Bianca?

- Who's Bianca? - Fuck.

- He's gone. - How long has he been gone for?

- Couple hours. - Mom?

Mmm, these Greek yogurts were

my last stop before the ensure train.

Mm, God, what happens to us?

Mom, why don't we go look for him?

Yeah, we probably should

because the temple is sending over a rabbi later

to check on me, and if they find out he's missing,

I'll be the talk of the temple,

the lady who misplaced her husband.

You're gonna have to search without me because I gotta run

- to my doctor's appointment. - Fine.

I'd cancel, but I had to wait three months to get in.

Oh, and talk to the guard at the gate.

He always brings Ed back when he finds him wandering.

What do you mean, this has happened before?

- Close the refrigerator. - Oh, my God.

Do you have any reaction to it?

Does it make you moody or anything?

No, no, not anymore.

You wanna help me? Come on.

- Are you kidding me? - Yeah, you'll be fine.

- Here, take this. - Not my greatest.

You'll be fine.

- Okay. - Hold that.

- There's a swab right there. - All right.

And here's what you're gonna do.

- All right. - Right there, into that muscle.

Okay, you ready? One, two...

Three.

Wow.

- Yeah? - That's great.

Thank you.

- Well done. - Mm-hmm.

You take a pill with that?

No, not anymore. I used to take these.

These are the Premarin.

Oh, Premarin. Let me see.

Yeah.

- Should I take one? - Nothing's gonna happen to you.

It's estrogen, not heroin, girl.

You okay?

Oh, my breasts are getting bigger.

Quinn was pregnant with Bianca when we fell in love,

so I kind of think of her as my own.

But you were with Quinn before Barb, so...

Yeah, it's a little... it's all one big family.

Okay, so, like, when we break up,

Bianca's gonna start calling me?

We are never, ever gonna break up.

'Cause I'm not joining your lesbian underground railroad.

Shut up. Bianca!

- What's up, mama? - Oh, baby, baby.

- Hi. - Hi.

Come on in. This is Sarah.

- Bianca. - Sarah.

- Hi. - Hi.

Oh!

So nice to meet you.

You're so pretty.

- She is pretty. - Where's the pool?

Straight out that way.

- She's adorable. - Told you.

Hi, excuse me?

- Um, could I ask for your help? - Yes, ma'am.

Hey, you're the one who got the, uh, geese all aroused.

Yeah, not on purpose, but yes.

Um, my mom's husband, Ed, is missing.

He's got gray hair, and he wears, like, big, poofy Dockers.

Yeah, he wanders off all the time.

Okay, do you know where he goes?

He's got all kinds of usual places.

I tell you what.

Grab a cart, and I'll show you

where he usually hangs out, okay?

Jesus, this is an aphasia patient's worst nightmare.

Everything looks exactly the same.

- He must be so confused. - I gotta be honest here.

This has never happened before.

You said he wandered off all the time.

He does, but he wasn't by the vending machines

or that bench by the pool.

And he's always by the ducks, and he wasn't by the ducks.

He loves those ducks.

Oh, here comes my man Tiffany.

I got your APB.

Individual in question was last spotted

at the 7-Eleven down the street

hanging around the soda machines,

making what the kids call a suicide.

Suicide?

Oh, yeah, it's just a...

It's just a drink with, like, a bunch of flavors in it.

You got coke, uh, sprite, orange,

diet with the vanilla.

Um, Mr. Pibb if you're real lucky.

And where is the 7-Eleven?

- It's down at the marina. - The marina?

There's a lot of water down at the marina.

Are you sure it was Ed?

Ed Paskowitz that you saw?

Afraid so, ma'am.

- All right. - Okay.

Let's go get him. Thank you, Tiffany.

- All right, good luck. - My man.

Good luck.

And so she told me if I didn't like it,

I could leave, so I did.

I know you want to blame Scientology,

but you and I both know

Quinn's always been a little bit Quinn's way or the highway.

Oh, my God. You know what we could do?

- What? - She could be our summer girl.

What's a summer girl?

Oh, it's like, um...

It's like a cooler-than-average babysitter.

Like, you just take 'em to the movies and stuff.

We had one when we were your age.

Rita.

Do you like kids?

Um, I do

when I don't feel like they're judging me.

This could be really good.

We wouldn't have to send the kids to camp.

Did you already register at Tumbleweed?

Um, well, I wrote the check.

- I don't know if I mailed it yet. - Oh, my God.

This is gonna be perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

Perfect, perfect. Perfect.

There's an extra playground over here

and, uh, also a little fence that leads to a bunch

- of wilderness up there. - Amazing.

- Amazing. - I mean, it's incredible.

Hi, kids. What's up?

- Hi, Uncle Joshy. - Hi, Uncle Joshy.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Uh, who are you? - I'm the summer girl.

Summer girl?

Mm-hmm. I'm here for, like, a minute.

A week, summer, whatever.

You're staying here? Like, sleeping here?

Yes. I'm Tammy's ex-stepdaughter.

Oh.

- Who are you? -

I'm Josh. This is my house. I lived here.