The Ruling Class

My lords, gentleman, pray silence

for Ralph Douglas Christopher Alexander Gurney, the 13th Earl

of Gurney.

The aim of the Society of St. George

is to keep green a memory of England.

Beware, once the rulers of the greatest empire the world

has ever known rule not by superior force or skill,

but by sheer presence.

So I give you England, this teeming womb of privilege,

this feudal state, whose shores beat back the turbulent sea

of foreign anarchy, this ancient fortress,

still commanded by the noblest of our royal blood,

this ancient land of ritual, this precious stone

set in the Silver Sea.

But here's to His England, this precious stone

set in the Silver Sea.

England, set in the Silver Sea.

God save the gracious Queen, scatter her enemies,

and make them fall.

Confound their politics, frustrate their knavish tricks.

On Thee our hopes we fix, God save the Quee.

Oh, thank you.

How was your speech, my Lord?

Oh, went well, Tuck.

English would like to hear the truth about themselves.

He's back now.

Claire, I said, Ralph is back.

Thank you, Charles.

I'll have a vodka and tonic.

I say, governor, the governor is back.

Mummy, I was just telling the governor

that the governor is back.

Charles, with ice.

I'm repeating myself, calling the governor the governor,

and daddy the governor as well.

Tuck, I'm getting married again.

Very good, my Lord.

It's Grace Shelley, Charles's right.

Been putting it off sake of the family.

Only Jack knows.

This house used to be full of mischief.

Ha!

Four young devils.

Thought I was safe enough.

Master Paul would have been the 14th Earl.

District Officer, 21, dead at 23.

Beriberi... picked it up of some scruffy

fuzzy wuzzy in a dressing gown.

No wonder, eh?

Master Richard used to play the xylophone.

And young Raymond, killed in Malaya, not one of them

buried in England, never seen their graves.

You can do that on your honeymoon, my Lord.

Hm, there's still Jack.

All based on land, Tuck.

I"ll have those naves and white hall moving

in, so it's Miss Grace Shelley.

Is she anyone, my Lord?

No one.

But Charles recommends her.

It's good breeding stock.

Family foals well... sires mostly.

There's always room at the top for brains, money

or a good pair of titties.

Miss Shelley seems well endowed, my Lord.

Huh?

The governor loved this bed, took it

all over the world with him.

Devilish great man, the governor.

Superb shot.

Did wonderful needle work, too.

What have you got there?

Ah, yes.

Why not?

Odd day, need to relax.

Might I suggest the silk tonight, sir?

Good idea, Tuck.

For Sir George, he... ah, Tuck, there's no end to duty.

And law has been my life, Tuck.

A judge can't be unreasonable, so how can he be a lover, eh?

This is a damn dry world, Tuck.

A long life and a gray one, my Lord.

Power of life and death.

A judge has no need for other vices.

Once you put on the black cap, everything else

tastes like wax fruit.

Noose a bit high, Tuck.

Bring it down half an inch.

That's it.

Will that be all, my Lord?

A whisky and soda in about five minutes, as usual.

Oh, Tuck, I shan't be dining tonight.

Tell Cook the trial ends tomorrow,

so I should be wanting one of her extra large breakfasts

in the morning, she knows I don't like passing

sentence on an empty stomach.

Very good, my Lord.

Nothing like a good English breakfast.

Big meal of the day for the governor.

Always read "The Times" through first,

case there was anything too disturbing in it.

Mother never knew what the word "socialist"

meant till she was past 50.

I remember standing at the foot of the bed there, telling them

I wanted to be a painter.

The Gurneys have never been slackers, he said.

And they have privileges.

Great confession that in me study law,

not the Gurney tradition, no.

Always the army.

Feet, feet, the boys are marching.

A little more grapeshot, Captain Bragg.

Give him a touch of that cold steel, boys.

Close, it's getting close.

I can feel the hot breath, wonderful, wonderful, one slip,

wonderful.

Worms have the best of it.

They dine off the tenderest joints,

juicy breasts, white thighs.

It is a far, far better thing I do know than I've ever done.

No sir, no bandage.

Die, my dear doctor.

That is that last thing I shall do.

Is that you, my love?

Come to me!

Come!

Touched her, saw her, towers of death and silence

in route of fire and ice.

Saw Alexander covered with honey and beeswax in his tomb.

Felt the flowers growing over me.

Oh, a man must have vision.

How else could an English judge the realm

take moonlit trips to Marrakech and Ponders End?

See six vestal virgins smoking cigars,

slippers, naked bosoms floating past Formosa.

Just time for a quick one.

Be of good cheer, Master Ridley, and pray the man

has plenty of time to win this game

and beat the Spaniards, too.

Form squares, men!

Smash the and .

Are you ready, your Lordship?

Bleed in bloody hell.

I am the resurrection and the life, saith the Lord.

He that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall

he live.

And whosoever liveth and believeth in me

shall never die.

Gilead is mine and Manasseh is mine.

Ephraim also is the strength of my head.

Judah is my law giver and Moab is my wash pot.

Over Edom my will cast out my shoe, and upon Philistia will

I triumph.

Who will lead me into the strong city,

and who will bring me into Edom?

[MUSIC - CECIL FRANCES ALEXANDER, "ALL"

All things bright and beautiful,

all creatures great and small.

All things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all.

Excellent service, Matthew.

Created exactly the right impression.

Damned if I could understand a word of it.

Yeah, I hardly expected you to, my boy.

Charles, I must have a word with you.

Charles, you see, this was a service which I could not

have conducted for someone who may have laid

thy violent hands upon himself.

Now, now, Charles.

A disturbing rumor has reached me.

Now tell me, did Ralph commit suicide?

Suicide?

Tucker found Ralph hanging in his bedroom

wearing a cocked hat, underpants, and a ballet skirt.

Does that sound like suicide?

No.

No, it does not.

No, but I had to be sure, Charles.

After all, he is buried in consecrated ground.

I must say, you know, it's damned odd

to find Uncle Ralph hanging around

like that in a ballet skirt.

Charles, didn't you say Ralph was always rather artistic?

He was willful, stubborn, and this time he went too far.

But he was my brother... well, half brother.

I will not have you calling him artistic.

Cocked hat?

A cocked hat?

You said cocked hat, Charles.

Why was Ralph wearing a cocked hat?

Trying it on for size, obviously.

I told him not to remain a widower.

The governor didn't have to start breeding again

because it's not pleasant for a man Ralph's age,

but that was something he had to get on top of.

Underpants?

Why would... why was he in his underpants, Charles?

Well, it was in his bedroom, wasn't it?

I thought all our troubles would be over when he took offense

at a young Grace Shelley?

That would have solved everything.