And the Devil Makes Three

You're wasting film.

Nothing's a waste.

Do you really need pictures of trees?

Well, we don't see trees.

We see palm trees.

Who gives a shit about palm trees?

They're on every block...

they don't grow up straight...

they have one job and it's to go

straight up.

They just signify that we live in

a tropical paradise is all.

She lived so far out of town.

Why did your grandma live so far

out of town?

Well, she's not my "grandma"...

she is my "grandmother".

That didn't answer my question, though.

She valued her privacy.

When was the last time you were up here?

Goats!

What?

There's a goat farm back there!

I saw goats!

Oh jesus, you have attention issues.

Little white fuzzy ones, too

like little misshapen dogs.

How often did your parents have to

go talk to your teachers after school?

So we've got...

Mountains, trees, fresh air, goats...

seclusion.

We've got seclusion.

Don't get me wrong

I'm happy to be isolated this week.

But...

But it kind of makes me nervous

being so far from everything.

The Tale of Mary Kremer

and the Deep, Dark Woods.

Is that the name of our week, now

Oh yes, I've named the week.

Why would you do that?

Like it's an event?

It is an event!

Every event needs a name, and...

This one's yours.

Oh my, I'm honored.

Privileged.

Fresh air... We've got mountains...

Goats...

Perfect.

Um, I'm sorry...

Did you not like The Re-Animator?

No, it was foul!

You're foul!

Holy shit!

Home, sweet home, huh?

No, that bag weighs a fuck ton

I don't know why I did that to myself.

Because you're a sucker for

self-punishment.

Where are you going?

I have to pee!

Don't you wanna know where the bathroom is

This toilet is weird!

Dude, it's crazy out here!

What?

I don't know, everything looks this same

it's been like, 20 years.

If I'm still doing the same shit in

20 years you have to promise me

that you'll kill me.

Oh yeah, you'll already be dead by then.

For sure.

You know...

My dad said that they took everything that

they wanted or could sell, but there's

still a bunch of shit here.

It's mostly just old lady shit, though.

I mean, do you want this in your house?

Um...

I don't even think that should be

in your hand.

Did I leave my cigarettes in the car?

Holy shit.

Tom?

Tom?

Tom?

What? What?

Look at that.

What the hell is that?

I don't know, it's disgusting.

That's probably why it's up here.

Great. It's not my room, is it?

No, you can sleep downstairs.

I'll take up here.

It's been awhile since I've been up here.

I don't quite fit anymore.

But I'll make it work.

This candy's weird, dude.

Should we even call that candy?

I don't know...

I think I'll stick to Choco-Puffs.

Dependable Choco-Puffs.

Don't you think it's interesting when

movies like this make the place

its own character?

Explain.

I think it adds a level to it.

Not like The Amityville Horror

or The Shining, but...

Maybe the house itself is watching you.

Like this house?

Not like this house.

Why not?

That's stupid.

This house isn't interesting enough

for that kind of thing to happen, here.

There's no memories.

My great-grandfather built it

and my grandma was the last person to

live in it.

That's it.

I don't mean how houses in horror movies

have memories.

I just mean...

Your grandma lived here for a long time

by herself

and then she died here.

That's a lot of thoughts and memories

to keep inside for so long, you know?

Yeah, well...

I'll let you know if I catch a glimpse

of ol' granny.

What would we do?

Really, what would we do if that happened?

First thing we would do

would be to get rid of this candy.

No, I mean...

What would we do in the House of Hell?

Leave. We'd totally just leave.

Just, out the front door...

Down the road...

Through the woods?

Yeah.

Realistically...

We'd be totally chicken shit, at first.

We wouldn't investigate any strange

sounds or do anything that would have us

killed by serial killers in two minutes.

Yeah.

Theoretically...

I don't know.

Exorcise the demon.

Not that your grandma was a demon, but...

Well, if you ask my dad...

Yeah, I think we would have a seance

do an exorcism...

Oh! Burn the house down.

My god. Drastic.

Drastic circumstances call for

drastic actions, dude.

Besides, I'm not bring any demon

hitchhikers back with me in my body...

using it for things.

See, now you make my grandma sound like

a demon whore.

Now she's your "grandma"?

That's how we're gonna play this?

I don't understand letting your grandma

stay out here all by herself.

I love my grandma. I wouldn't let her

todder around these hills with a bunch

of old ass bones inside her body,

That's just asking for trouble.

Well...

If you love your grandma so much

what are you doing here, with me

on Thanksgiving break?

You know what I'm doing here.

That's it for me, man. I'm going to bed.

Alright, goodnight.

Oh, shit!

Why are you sitting on the counter?

Are you washing your feet in the sink?

Woman, are you bleeding where

I make food?

Shut up! Do you see what I did?

That's fuckin' nasty.

The hell took you so long?

Where were you? It was like a 7 mile run, the lake

was a lot further than you remember.

Well, what do I always tell you?

Nothing good can come frome exercise.

Why should I be punished for trying

to be fit?

What kind of justice is that?

You alright?

I'm having a really hard time focusing...