To All the Boys I've Loved Before

The forbidden kiss.

We knew that it was wrong,

that he was betrothed to my sister.

But if this wasn't what he wanted,

then why did he come to the field of desire?

It was fated,

that we should meet like this.

Hey!

Are we hanging out or what?

I just want to finish this chapter.

Oh!

Should we go down and help him?

He wants to do it himself, but please come help me set the table.

I hate when Dad makes Korean food, it always tastes like butt.

Regardless, whatever Dad puts in front of you, take a bite

and say, "Mm, just like Mom's," okay?

I was still eating smushed peas when Mom died.

- Hey. - Hey!

I'm not too late, am I?

I was trying to meditate, but I ended up falling asleep.

- Smells good, Dr. C. - Hey, Josh.

Lara Jean.

So, uh... What you cooking?

- If you just rock this back and forth... - It's supposed to fall off the bone.

Hey, Josh, come hang on to this while I saw, would ya?

Electric knife's in the kitchen, it'll have that ready in two seconds.

Looks great, Daddy. I'll be back.

I can't believe we're not going to see her until Thanksgiving.

Christmas actually, Scotland's too far to come back for Thanksgiving.

Wait, are you kidding? We're not gonna see her till Christmas!

Look on the bright side,

Margot won't be taking the car every day, you can practice your driving.

- I forgot I had to drive with Lara now. - Feel free to take the bus.

I can give you a ride. I'm not disappearing, I'm next door.

Or I can drive,

and if we get pulled over, we'll switch places real quick.

- Top-notch idea, honey. - What'd I miss?

We were talking about what a bad driver Lara Jean is.

Yeah, we were, but we were also talking about airplanes,

which speaking of... I have a surprise for you.

Oh...

You couldn't come home for Thanksgiving, I figured I'd bring home to you.

It's a plane ticket, I'm coming to Scotland.

Look at Josh stepping up!

You... You already paid for this?

Yeah, I had a Google alert set for flights

as soon as you decided you wanted to go to school there.

Why?

Mm... Just like Mom's.

I guess I should tell you a little bit about Josh.

He and Margot have been together for the past two years,

but before Margot even cared that he existed,

he was my first boyfriend.

Well, space between the words...

boy who was a friend.

I could talk to him about anything. We really understood one another.

Okay, would you rather only drink water for the rest of your life,

or you can drink whatever you want, but it has to have a drop of pee in it?

Clear or yellow?

It has to be a little yellow.

I mean, pee. Definitely pee. I can't give up Mountain Dew.

Yeah, definitely. Pee's the only answer.

We didn't stop being friends when Josh and Margot got together,

it was just different.

Water. Definitely water.

Yeah, me too.

Definitely.

They didn't want me to feel left out, so they invited me everywhere...

even on dates.

They tried to make it as normal as possible, but...

I still felt like a third wheel.

It's not that I wanted to steal my sister's boyfriend or anything.

I was super happy for Margot. She deserves a great guy like Josh.

And so I wrote him a letter.

I wasn't going to send the letter,

it was just for me to understand how I was feeling.

But really, I guess it was mainly about how sometimes I imagined

what it would've been like if I'd realized how I felt about him sooner.

...making me look like the bad guy.

- You know how hard that was? - You shouldn't have in front of them!

My letters are my most secret possessions.

There are five total:

Kenny from camp;

Peter from seventh grade;

Lucas from Homecoming;

John Ambrose from Model UN;

and Josh.

I write a letter when I have a crush so intense I don't know what else to do.

Rereading my letters reminds me of how powerful my emotions can be,

how all-consuming.

And Margot would say I'm being dramatic, but I think drama can be fun...

- What are you doing? - Nothing.

Just as long as nobody else knows about it.

Your room's a mess.

Are you okay? Yeah.

Well...

I don't know, I just broke up with Josh.

You did what?

Why?

Before Mom died, she said I should never go to college with a boyfriend.

But you love him.

I know.

So, do you think you might change your mind?

No.

No, never.

When I was packing for college,

I had Daddy make a box of things to take to Goodwill.

I think you should do it too, I made you a box.

I don't really think there's anything I can part with at the moment.

Lara Jean, I'm leaving tomorrow.

That means you're going to be the biggest sister.

You need to set a good example for Kitty,

no gorging on chips before dinner

and a clean room.

Can we go back to talking about how you're sad?

Margot says when something is no longer useful,

you either donate it, recycle it, or throw it away.

I always knew she felt that way about objects but...

I didn't think she could feel that about a person.

...will depart from Gate 39.

Come here.

Hey, you need a magazine. We'll be right back.

You gonna be okay?

Did you have to pick the furthest college you could think of?

Who am I supposed to eat lunch with?

I think you should look at this as an opportunity to branch out,

- make new friends. - No.

- You never know what could happen. - That's what I'm afraid of.

If you need me, I'm a Skype call away.

Until you start going to pubs and eating haggis

with your Scottish friends, and forget about us.

I can promise you I will never, ever...

eat haggis.

We couldn't decide, so we got you all of them.

That's Road & Track,

it doesn't sound that interesting, but if you stick with it... Come here.

Alright, I gotta go.

Okay.

Think she'll turn around?

No, that's not Margot.

Can we have a dog now?

No, but that's a nice try.

Lara Jean. It's only gonna take a second. Just smile.

- Cheese! -

Sixth grade and junior year, can hardly believe it.

Okay, you ready to go?

One sec.

Give me those.

Okay, just drive safe. I gotta go.

You look great.

Alright.

All set.

- That's very funny. - Very necessary.

- Ow! Excuse you. - Oh, my God, Gen.

I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention.

Oh, it's you.

Gen...

Genevieve.

We used to be best friends, but post-middle school,

for reasons having to do with her popularity and my lack thereof,

we are now decidedly not.

Cute boots.

Thank you so much for your service.

They're vintage, but I got them on Etsy.

And they're amazing!

Not everybody can pull them off.

Lara Jean can rock 'em!

But for you, cuz, well,

let's just say it's probably a good thing you're playing it safe with those Uggs.

Christine. Chris...

Gen's cousin, my best friend. My only friend, really.

Know what, Chrissie? Screw you, you know my feet are always cold.

- Hey, babe. - Oh!

- Hi. - How you doing?

- I'm good. How are you? - Good.

Remember Peter,

the second non-recipient of one of my love letters?

That's this Peter. Gen ' s Peter.

Seventh grade, my first real boy/girl party.

Everyone knew that Peter and Gen, who at the time was still my BFF,

only wanted to kiss each other.

I can spin it again.

You can't cheat the bottle.

So I was just complimenting Lara Jean on her government-issued boots.

Come on, I see someone we need to say hi to.

- Bye! - What...

She just stopped drinking caffeine for some diet,

I think she's in withdrawal.

Are you sure she just doesn't have a chemical imbalance?

Right...

Really think my boots are amazing?

If you ask, it ruins the whole vibe. Be cool.

Anyway, you think I'm gonna let my cousin talk trash about you?