Glee

So here's what you missed on Glee:

Prom's coming up and Quinn's desperate to win queen

so she can hold on to Finn

who still sort of has eyes for Rachel.

But Zizes also wants to be queen and Puck's up for king

and Karofsky and Santana want to win too

'cause they both got a secret they'd like to keep.

Have you ever heard of the term "beards"?

Artie and Brittany were BF and GF

but he got mad and said she was stupid

and now they're not BF and GF.

You were the only person at this school

that never called me that.

Can you believe that?

And that's what you missed on Glee.

Hi everyone. It's junior prom minus six days

here at McKinley and today I'm joined

by Junior Prom King candidate Noah Puckerman.

I prefer Puck. So Noah can I get a comment

on the recent poll number that put the Fabray/Hudson ticket

ten points above you and Zizes...

AKA the "Road Warriors. " We're still ahead of Santana and Karofsky

by half a point so our campaign strategy

is to close the gap using a combination

of intimidation and fear.

Awesome and classy.

One more question... this one was e-mailed in by a fan.

"Where does Lauren keep your balls?"

What?

I'm sure you've heard the word on the street

that you've been neutered by Ms. Zizes.

That she's the one who wears the pants in the relationship.

Shut up or I'll beat your ass.

I'm not scared... I've been hit by a girl before.

This is JBI signing off.

Tune in tomorrow when we'll be interviewing

frontrunner Quinn Fabray.

Hubba hubba.

I have some bad news.

Will Schuester is leaving McKinley

to go to Broadway.

Oh William I'm devasted...

Positively horny with grief.

As a going-away present here's a spray bottle

of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

to keep that head-merken looking buttery fresh.

No no. Junior prom is in one week

and my favorite band cancelled.

What band? Air Supply William.

So I'm inviting my next favorite group:

The New Directions.

Nope. No way. Um...

I agree. I mean normally we would jump

at the chance to perform but...

I mean we've got Nationals in three weeks

which means that we have a lot of rehearsals

and a lot of taffy to sell just so we can afford the trip.

William this glass is half-full of dreams for all of us.

I have decided to give all the money

to the Glee Club that I was going to pay Air Supply!

So that's $400 right there for you.

I won't allow it... I'm prom coordinator and I was not consulted.

Each year I honor the prom with a bowl of my family's secret punch recipe

made all the more meaningful to me because it's

the punch bowl my grandmother drowned in.

And each year that punch bowl is spiked.

Such lawlessness will only be encouraged

when being screeched at by that Glee Club!

Sue it is not a discussion!

We are in the lurch!

Fine. Well then let me take this opportunity

to make a request.

William I have in my Spanks at all times

a list of the worst songs

ever performed by the Glee Club.

And I would appreciate it if you would not reprise

any of the following numbers.

Number one.

"Run Joey Run."

You should literally apologize to America

for that one. Number two.

The ingenius mash-up

of "Crazy in Love" and "Hair."

Now I know you must have been

pretty tired when you put that baby together.

If you'll excuse me.

We'll see you at the prom butt chin.

I've been to Ann Taylor Loft.

Filene's Basement and like six Forever 21s

and I cannot find a dress that fits.

I'm gonna be forced to make my own dress for prom.

Don't. You'll seem poor. You're up for queen.

You can't make your own prom dress.

Prom is like our Oscars.

It's seriously like

the most important night of our lives.

What about getting married?

Oh you can get married as many times as you want.

You only have one shot at your junior prom.

What are you guys talking about? Prom dresses.

Thank God I don't have to worry about that. I'm not going.

Why not? 'Cause nobody's asked me.

All right guys... prom.

Please tell me we're not

doing songs about prom.

Nope. We are the prom.

Figgins has asked us to perform.

Let's do "Run Joey Run."

Now I know this isn't ideal with.

Nationals coming up but we really don't

have a choice.

And we could really use the money.

But I know that prom is a special rite of passage.

I'm gonna make sure that all of you guys

get a chance to enjoy the dance too.

So we're gonna stagger

the performances

so that each and every one of you

has a lot of time to dance with your dates.

Excuse me.

Is she okay? Mercedes doesn't have a date for prom.

So? I don't have a date.

I'm just going to dance and then all your dates are

gonna ignore you and come dance with me so...

Your dates are really my dates.

I'm gonna go talk

to Mercedes. No. Let me.

Hey.

You know I don't have a date to prom either.

You know I know that I talk a good game

about not needing a man and I don't.

I just really wanted to take a date to the prom.

I want the dress...

And the guy...

And the damn corsage.

Somebody... somebody still may ask you.

It's this Saturday. You know...

I just wanted to be Cinderella...

Just for one night.

One night where a guy would...

Would look at me under those corny crepe paper streamers

and say... "You look so beautiful."

And then he'd...

Grab my hand and ask me to dance.

Isn't that what prom is supposed to be about?

You're not gonna go to prom alone.

You'll go with me. That's even more depressing.

I have a plan.

Give me your hand.

Blaine Warbler...

Will you go to junior prom with me?

Prom?

It'll be the social event of the season.

You don't want to go to prom with me? No no

of course of course I want to go with you.

It's just...

Prom.

What about prom Blaine?

At my old school there was a Sadie Hawkins Dance

and... I had just come out

so I asked a friend of mine

the only other gay guy in the school

and while we were waiting for his dad to pick us up...

These three guys...

Um...

...beat the living crap out of us.

I...

I'm so sorry.

I'm-I'm out and I'm proud

and all that... this is just

a little bit of a sore spot.

This is perfect.

You couldn't face up to the bullies at your school

so you can do it at mine.

We could do it together.

But I have to say Blaine

that if it makes you feel uncomfortable at all

then we'll just forget about prom.

We'll go to a movie instead.

I am crazy about you.

So I'll take that as a yes?

Yes.

Yes you and I are going to the prom.

Mm mm!

Is this a surprise party or something?

Because my birthday was last week.

It-it was?

Um no.

Mercedes and I we have a proposition for you.

We were wondering if you'd like to go

to prom with us. Kind of like a...

A three-way date but not the dirty kind.

That sounds great but I can't afford to take

one girl to the prom; I don't know how I'm gonna take two.

What's this? Our prom budget.

You're gonna have to borrow a suit from your dad

and we're gonna buy five-dollar dresses

down at the Goodwill and make our own corsages

out of flowers from my mom's garden.

And we can walk to prom and then use what's left