Der Medicus

IN EUROPE'S MIDDLE AGES, HEALING ARTS DEVELOPED DURING ROMAN TIMES ARE ALMOST FORGOTTEN

NO DOCTORS OR HOSPITALS...

ONLY TRAVELING BARBERS WITH LITTLE KNOWLEDGE

AT THE SAME TIME ON THE OTHER END OF THE WORLD MEDICAL SCIENCE FLOURISHES

THE PHYSICIAN

ENGLAND 1021 A.D.

Back and forth, up and down...

left to right for more than one hundred years.

But nowhere have I had the pleasure of looking out on a crowd...

with prettier girls...

than here in your wonderful .

But I especially like it here because...

I always lay me best eggs here.

Ladies, Lords from broken bones...

the teeth rotting down in the jawbone...

to useless stumps.

From pustules on the backside to thick, black fluid in your lungs.

No matter the ailment conjured up by the devil to plague us poor Christian folk.

Me and me alone has the cure.

Me and me alone has the cure!

That's my bread.

- Give it back! - Come up, come up...

Dear lord Jesus. Have mercy upon us, your poorest children.

Protect my sweet Rob from the anger and fists of bigger boys.

Turn back the stinky finger my son will use to...

pull snot from his nose at table.

And let my baby Anne wait until I finish grace...

before she puts a crumb of bread in her greedy little mouth.

Amen.

Amen.

Ma?

It's nothing.

Ma?

Mom!

Dear god, make it stop.

Ma!

Come quick, my ma needs help.

- Go away. I'm not here. - Please help her.

To hell with "please" bother!

What do I care about another whore in this dung-hole of a city.

Go home! Come back tomorrow if she ain't dead by then!

Get out of my wagon!

I cleanse this sinful heart with this sacred oil.

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

Amen.

Hurry!

Ma, I've brought the barber to heal you.

What's he doing here?!

She's got him. It's too late...

for me.

There is no cure for what ails this woman but the grace of god.

Anything else would be called witchcraft.

Amen, Father. You've taken the words out of me mouth.

No Barber, please!

Is there someone here who disputes the authority of the Holy Church?

Father, not me.

Dear God and Lord Jesus...

have mercy on us 3 children.

Return our mother to us.

We need her more than you.

Please, Lord Jesus.

Please God.

The utensils go to whoever takes the youngest.

- We can take the 2 youngest. - They can sleep in the stable.

If you can take 2, why not 3?

The oldest is too grown up. We can't fill his hungry mouth.

Don't cry, Samuel. Mother is always with us.

Let's go!

Come on! Come on!

Rob!

Come on!

Come on!

I'm taking these for the penny owed for the sacred oil.

Where do I go?

Pray to the Almighty God for guidance.

- I can look after horse. I know horses. - My heart bleeds for you lad.

Who's there?

Show yourself!

Before the 3 of us come up and rip you apart.

How did you get here?

You need a faster horse.

Down.

- Please, just tonight. - No.

Get your filthy rump out of here.

- Please. - No!

Could you have saved her, Barber?

There's no cure for side sickness.

- Your ma still alive? - No, she died.

- Do you have family? - No.

I'm sorry. Who do you talk to when you're alone?

I don't. I sleep like now. You shut your hole.

I've seen everything the good lord put on the earth for us to see.

And some terrifying things no man was supposed to witness.

That's why I can stand here before you and say that...

I'm gonna tear off your arms. And then I'm gonna kill you.

I was just dressing a wound.

No where have I had the pleasure...

of looking out on a crowd with pretty girls.

No one so delighted.

Than here, in beautiful Ethelweller.

It's broken.

For three pence I can fix it for you. Come see us at the marketplace.

Nowhere are the girls prettier.

- You said that already! - Oh shut up.

My juggler!

I found him at the bottom of a well.

The show is for free, and the treatment is almost for free.

- Where the hell were you? - House visit.

A spoonful of kidney ash every morning...

gets your kidney problems out of the way.

For forgetfulness, dried tongue of a hooper bird around your neck.

- And this is a very special potion. - This is witchcraft!

I picked the hops myself under a full moon.

You'll end up in hell.

It will stop your wife from bringing more brats into the world.

You'll go to hell!

Whether their yours or your neighbors.

- It's black magic! - Shut up! Come and get healed!

Can't the young barber do it?

There's no young barber here.

Just the ignorant apprentice of an ancient master.

If you don't like the looks of me, you shouldn't have fallen off your broomstick hag.

Who's next?

- Goodnight, little boy. - Goodnight.

How was it?

I'm in love.

You should stick to whores, too.

Much less stress...

another mans wives and daughters.

Oh, Rob...

- Need a hand old man? - Don't you dare!

Bollocks.

Have you ever wondered what's inside?

In here.

Flesh, blood, bones. Your soul, if you have one.

And down here?

More flesh, more blood.

So does side sickness come from bad blood?

I don't care if it comes from my ass.

Can't cure it, can't charge for it.

Have you never wondered what's inside? Have you never looked?

- I can slice you up after breakfast. - No, I mean like in dead people.

Don't you ever talk about that again. Never!

Do you know what the church does to necromancers?

Burn them at the stake.

Stop talking about the side sickness. It won't bring your mother back.

Not another word. Never.

Pliers!

Open your mouth.

More light.

Hold down on him.

Holy earth from the Mount of Olives.

Stir it in your mead and swallow it in one gulp.

Have you forgotten how to drink, lad?

I'll remind you.

Like that, boy.

Like that.

The farmer with the tooth.

- Death is coming for him. - Death is coming for all of us.

No, I felt it.

- You felt death? - Yes.

Death won't trouble him over a toothache.

My apprentice can see things.

When is my husband coming back from war?

War, not too soon I hope.

What will harvest be like this year?

That's them, the devils!

You there!

- Murderers! - You need to give us some answers.

In the morning this poor soul went to work in the field.

At noon he went to see you to cure his aching tooth.

By evening, he breathed his last.

Run away!

You bewitched this poor man with black magic.

You trespassed against the lord and the church.

You owe my sister a husband.

It might be hard if he's as ugly as you are.

Get him!

I think you'll live another hundred years.

I told you to run.

I'll start on the roof tomorrow.

Then what?

- They'll heal. - Not before we starve.

- You should go. - And leave you to the wolves?

I can always beg for alms outside the church.

- Yeah, in winter? - I'll make a nice meal for the crows.

At least then this miserable life of mine would be over.

Then the world would lose a great barber.

You're not listening boy!

I can't even hold a pair of tooth pliers.

I could hold them for you.

I've been watching you all these years.

You've also been watching the clouds. Doesn't mean you can make it rain.

I've seen ugly giant's. I've seen greedy dwarfs.

And just the other day I had to fight a fire spitting dragon...

with me own two hands.

But nowhere have I had the pleasure of...

looking out on a crowd of prettier girls.

This will stop your wife from bringing more brats into the world.

- Mother have mercy on me. - Who wants to be healed?