Ugly Betty

Hello, gorgeous.

Aw, thank you. not you! me! this!

My new title

And my new office.

It's perfect,

Except for one unsightly, little...

Marc. marc!

Ow!

Sorry. I will get used to my new glass door.

Welcome home, boys.

Marc, I'm really proud of your promotion,

And I'm really excited that we get to share an fice.

But since it is a professional space,

If we can try and keep the space professional?

Okay, sure, I'll get rid of the titans of sport,

As soon as you take down your ethnic bric-a-brac.

And while we're at it, please refrain

From carrying on in your overly exuberant latina ways.

Marc, I do not carry on in an overly exuberant--

Aah!

Oh, my god! aah!

I won a blobby!

What happened? are you okay?

No! I'm sharing an office with a chunky, cheering charo.

I won a blobby!

That's great! a blobby!

What is a-a blobby?

I don't know. it's a, um...

Black and latina organization of bloggers,

And they would like to award betty suarez

For the best new blog.

I didn't even know anyone knew about my blog. congratulations.

That is amazing.

Did anybody hear that I'm a junior fashion editor?

This is crazy. they want to send someone over

To interview me today, and I have to find my own person

To present me with the award at the ceremony. will you do it?

Oh, you want me to? who else would I want more?

No, I'd love to. I mean, this is huge.

Well, I don't know if it's huge. it's being held at...

"the place near wendy's that has the cupcakes."

I'm guessing it's a little low-rent.

Who cares? an award is an award.

And you deserve it. your blog is terrific. really? you read it?

Uh... not yet.

I have it bookmarked, and I'm really psyched

To get around to it. well, please do it quick because the sooner you do,

It'll put me that much closer to hitting my 75-readersark.

Well, it is only the beginning.

I know you don't have a very large readership,

But pretty soon, people will be stopping you on the street.

Oh, my god! oh, my god! I love you!

It's you! I love your show.

I love when you're all, "marc!"

What the hell are you talking about?

Wow. you're always on, huh?

Genius.

It's not fair.

You, betty--

Everyone who was everdat

Got promoted but me.

I want to get promoted.

I'm sick of being a receptionist,

Always being at everyone's beck and victoria.

Well, daniel needs someone.

Why don't you ask him for the job again?

Maybe you'll be next.

Oh, mandy, it's so good.

It's like--it's like I'm finally my own man around here.

It's really liberating.

Marc! gotta go.

What could that simpering fool have been talking about?

I have no ide-- ohh.

What is it?

"mean queens of fashion

"in new york city's finest drag bar,

"double bill featuring

"manna wintour

And wilhdiva hater"?!

That is so fun-- offensive!

Oh! I will not be mocked by some low-rent drag queen.

It's insulting. it's inexcusable.

It's delicious. what's that web address?

Uh, yeah, I'll write it down-- oh! don't even bother.

I'll have my lawyers draw up a cease and desist order

Immediately.

As if I didn't have enough queens

To shut down right here at "mode."

Congratulations, betty. aw.

Oh, you must be so excited to be honored

By the big lesbian order of bloggers.

Amanda, I alady told you,

That's not what "blob" stands for.

It stands for "big, lumpy, obese bloggers."

Those ams might hurt if they were coming from award winners.

It'll be like watching a five year old

Pretend to drive the car.

Thank you, willie, for that resounding vote of bitchiness,

But I am nonetheless very excited

To announce that I've landed us

An exclusive fashion shoot and interview

With diego martinez and victoria velez.

I have to deal with that all day.

I love them!

I've seen every single one of his movies,

From "dawn of shame,"

Where victoria plays a disgraced prostitute,

To "tides of regret,"

Where she plays a disgraced traffic cop. must she get so worked up?

And overseeing the fashion shoot

Is our newest junior fashion editor--

Marc st. james. oh!

Ahem. mm.

And covering the interview component...

Please be me. please be me.

Is this a creative meeting or "the price is right"?

Actually, I was planning on doing it myself.

Well, by "it," do you mean the interview

Or victoria velez? no, willie.

I assure you, my interest in the interview

Is purely professional.

And how many diego martinez movies have you actually seen?

You know what?

It would be fun for us to do it together, betty.

Yes! oh, I'm so excited! I have so many questions.

I'm gonna start by re-watching all of their movies. whoa, whoa, whoa.

Slow down, betty there's plenty of time. oh, I don't know, daniel.

Should she slow down or you speed up?

I mean, I would hate to see the assistant exceed the master.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'd love to see that.

Hey, guess what.

I found the perfect new assistant for you--me.

Wouldn't that be weird, now that we're fun buddies again?

Ooh, fun buddies. there are cameras everywhere.

Oh, hey.

Look, daniel, I know you. if you hire some new hottie,

You're gonna spend half your day wondering,

"will we sleep together? when will we sleep together?

Will she get all crazy or will it be casual?"

With me, you already know we're sleeping together,

I am all crazy and it's casual! total time-saver.

I guess I can't argue with that.

Um, but I will need you to find a new receptionist. aah!

Thank you, daniel! thank you, thank you!

Lots of shrieking today.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Wow, you're excited. it's just 'cause, like,

I'm the biggest bettyhead out there. bettyhead?

It's what we call the core 22 of us.

We should get started,

'cause if I'm not back to work in 20 minutes, I'm so fired.

Yeah, okay, fine.

Do I have anything in my teeth? uh, no. okay.

So the tone of your blog is normally really positive,

But what I think your readers really want to know is...

Who are you dying to bitch out?

What? no. no.

No one.

Um, I know a lot of people use their blogs

As a place to vent petty frustrations,

But, um, not that--

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I mean, that's cool, too-- hey, how's it going in here?

Hey, daniel. this is wendy. wendy, this is daniel meade--

Editor-in-chief of "mode" magazine.

He's also going to present me with my award. oh. that's cool.

But just so you know,

The blobbies are about celebrating minority writers

In new media-- not celebrity presenters.

Okay.

That soundlike a fun night.

Uh, I should probably get going.

No, wait. daniel, why don't you stay?

Hang out, you-- I could use your help.

Uh, wendy wants something dishy,

And I think I'm disappointing her.

Oh, my god! never.

A little.

Well, good luck getting any dish

Out of our resident pollyanna here.

Has she always been this way? oh, god, no. she was way worse.

You know the first day,

She showed up in this insane poncho,

And her--and her hair-- do you remember that?

It was--it was-- it was crazy, right? yeah, crazy.

Oh, and, uh, so there's this glass window...

I mean, no one thought she would last the day, seriously.

If you had told me three years later she'd be an editor,

I would've laughed you out of the room.

Our betty, she's really come a long way. thanks, daniel.

But to me, she'll always be my sweet...

Little assistant, always on hand to...

Get me my... bagel.

Could you hand me the water?

Okay, that's all we have time for.

So how was that?

Perfect.

Marc?