Armageddon

This is the Earth at a time when the dinosaurs roamed

a lush and fertile planet.

A piece of rock just six miles wide changed all that.

It hit with the force of 10,000 nuclear weapons.

A trillion tons of dirt and rock hurtled into the atmosphere

creating a suffocating blanket of dust

the sun was powerless to penetrate

for a thousand years.

It happened before.

It will happen again.

It's just a question of when.

Engineering director... Engineering...

-Say again, Rudy. -Houston, affirmative.

I'm gonna try again.

This time why don't we put in a hold at nine.

Cancel the pending resume.

Almost got it.

-Atlantis, I'm almost there. -Houston, Pete's looking real strong.

Okay, Pete. We got that coupling on the board here now.

We'll give you the go-ahead from down here when it's in alignment.

Sounds good. Give me 10 seconds.

His heart rate's racing.

-Hey, Pete. It's Truman. -Hey.

-How you doing up there, Hoss? -Pretty good.

Now, listen, Pete. We got an eye on your meds here.

I'll give you a buffalo nickel if you'll calm down just a little bit.

-Can you do that for me? -Whatever you say.

Okay, now we got plenty of time, buddy, so don't you worry.

-AtIantis... -Okay. Looking good here.

-He's got it. -He'll be all right.

Go ahead, Atlantis.

Roger that, Houston. Suggest we start reeling Pete in.

-The system's down. -No.

-What the hell is that? -My Lord.

We're down.

Houston!

-We've lost all contact. -What happened?

Stewart, play that tape back!

Houston!

Multiple bogeys! Multiple bogeys!

Sector five, niner. I have three. Now five. Unidentified tracts.

My screen's full.

Multiple tracts headed towards the Atlantic seaboard.

This could be a surprise missile attack.

Mr President, the shuttle Atlantis just exploded in space.

Okay, I want three groups!

One, internal malfunction.

Get the log tape. Start working back. Maybe it's a glitch.

Two, I want NORAD Space Command and the 50th Tactical

comparing all the space junk you track in every orbit.

I want you to check, recheck and then do it all over again.

Number three, wild cards, anything and everything.

All right? Now, big Ross, I want you to get on the telephone.

-Wake up 11,000 people. -Right.

-Walt, get them going. -Let's go!

Karl!

Karl! Karl!

Karl! Your Stouffer's pot pie's been on the table almost 10 hours.

-I want a divorce. -Dottie, I'm on to something big here.

I... I don't know what this is,

but it looks like something's burning up there.

Go get my phone book, will you? Get my phone book.

Get those names of those guys from NASA.

Excuse me! Am I wearing a sign that says, "Karl's slave"?

Go get my goddamn phone book! Get the book!

Get the book! Get the book!

Space Command is reporting negative. That is zero global launches.

It might just be pieces of the shuttle breaking up as it comes in.

Yeah, it might be Santa Claus.

Until we get definitive, reliable alternative confirmation, General,

we go to DEFCON 3.

I'm getting ready for the big time

Someday you're gonna say I'm big time too

Hey, little man! Little Richard!

Me and you, man! We going to the top, baby! Big time!

Yo, man, I ain't gonna be riding this bike the rest of my life!

You know what I'm saying? I'm getting a motorcycle, baby.

We gonna travel in style.

I'm getting ready for the big time

Someday you're gonna say I'm big time

Watch where you're going. I bet you, none of y'all stop for brothers.

Slow down, Little Richard.

You've been riding all morning, man. You gotta take a dump?

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programme

-to bring you this special report. -Hey, man, what happened?

The shuttle Atlantis exploded in space at 3:47 a.m.,

Eastern Standard Time.

This morning NASA officials are denying...

Hey! Hey, get! Get!

-That's my Godzilla. Come on, now. -Yo, fool!

Don't be kicking Little Richard. What the hell your problem?

Now that dog's eating my Godzilla, man.

And what's a little runt like you gonna do about it?

Get him, Richard. Sic him.

If I wasn't a Christian, I'd be throwing your fat,

pineapple-eating ass through the window.

Why we not going, huh?

Well, you know why? 'Cause this is New York City.

Anything could have happened. Look at that.

Let's see. It could have been a terrorist bomb.

It could have been a dead body, somebody shot, stabbed.

And it's Friday. Payday, too.

Somebody probably jumped, didn't get their pay cheque. Yes.

I want to go shopping.

Me, too, but we ain't going nowhere 'cause this is a traffic jam.

-Little Richard. -Hurry! Right over there!

-Go! -Yo, Little Richard!

Hang on, Little Richard! I'm coming!

Don't you worry about it. I'm gonna get you outta there!

You okay, buddy? Don't worry about it. Hang in there.

Somebody dial 911!

My screen's full! They're all over the place!

Bogeys are breaching the atmosphere from Finland

down the North American seaboard.

Whoa!

Look at that!

We at war!

Saddam Hussein is bombing us!

Come on! Let's go! Let's go!

Get out of here!

Oh, my God!

Let's stay focused. We need to map the trajectory now.

-That could take a week. -Just find it, okay?

I want to know if the worst is over or if it's on its way.

We've got General Kimsey on the line.

We've got hits from Finland to South Carolina.

We know they're not missiles. Now what the hell is it?

It's a meteor shower. That's what took out the shuttle.

-He's waiting for you. -What's the death toll?

I've got the President on Air Force One demanding answers. Is it over?

General, we've got 11,000 people at NASA

trying to figure that out right now.

When we know, you'll know.

Okay, Karl, listen. I want you to take your time.

Yes, sir. You are definitely the first.

Okay, first coordinate. One-two-three-nine. 1239, right?

-FBI locked his location. -Saw an explosion in space.

-Okay. -The last one...

Now, listen, Karl, this is top secret.

Sir, I'm retired Navy. I know all about classified.

But one more thing.

The person that finds her gets to name her, right?

Yes, that's right. That's right.

I want to name her Dottie, after my wife.

She's a vicious, life-sucking bitch from which there's no escape.

That's... That's sweet, Karl.

S.D.I., this is Flight Director.

I want to get that Hubble moving and I want it now.

Roger that. We're moving the Hubble!

It's enormous.

This is the anomaly at 1643.

Here is the anomaly at 1658.

And here is the anomaly at 1700.

Enough with this "anomaly" horseshit!

-What is this thing? -It's an asteroid, sir.

How big are we talking?

Sir, our best estimate is 97.6 billion...

-It's the size of Texas, Mr President. -Yes, sir.

Dan, we didn't see this thing coming?

Well, our object collision budget's a million dollars.

That allows us to track about three percent of the sky.

And begging your pardon, sir, but it's a big-ass sky.

And the ones this morning?

Those are nothing. They're the size of basketballs

and, Volkswagens, things like that.

ls this going to hit us?

-We're efforting that as we speak, sir. -What kind of damage are we...

Damage?

Total, sir.

It's what we call a global killer.

The end of mankind.

Doesn't matter where it hits.

Nothing would survive, not even bacteria.

My God. What do we do?

We have 18 days before it hits Earth.

-Have mercy. -Rise and shine!

Stop the drilling! Stop the drilling! Stop the drilling!

-Fore! -Stop the drilling!

Stop the drilling! Stop the drilling!

-Hey! -Hey, that was close!

I gave you 50,000 a year in donations!

What do you think they're so mad about, Chick?

Well, I think they feel that drilling for oil is an evil thing.

Do you know how much diesel that clunker boat pumps out in an hour?

You know, I just found out something interesting.

Number two chewed 180 feet last night.

Who do we have to thank for this?

Well, I'll give you two guesses, but you're only gonna need one.

Goddamn it, A.J. !

A.J. !

A.J. ! A.J., you in here?

That's just perfect. In bed. Get up!

-Hey, you wanted to see me? -Yeah, I was looking for you.

You're pissed. Okay, I can see that.

No. You know what, A.J.? I'm not pissed.

You've seen me pissed. This is way, way beyond pissed, though.

You know I shut down number two last night, right?

Yeah, man, I had a hunch on that.

Dude, let me tell you something.

Someday, many years from now, when you're all growed up