How to Marry a Millionaire

New York, New York

You high and mighty, bright and shiny fabulous place, New York

New York, New York

You busy, dizzy, razzle-dazzle scandalous place, New York

Guys with easy money tryin' to blow it

Dolls with hidden talent dyin' to show it

Take off for Broadway by taxi, by subway

And land on the town A merry-go-round

New York, New York

Where millionaires and Cinderellas rendezvous at the Stork

In Central Park romantic babies and their fellas rendezvous in the dark

Crazy city with its hat on the steeple

Noisy city with its millions of people

Doorway to glory and fortune and fame

You'll never get your fill of it never forget the thrill of it

Glorious, glamorous wonderland

New York

Oh, is Mr. Benton here yet, the agent for the apartments?

Oh, yes. He's in there waiting for you now.

Thank you.

Oh, good morning, Mrs. Page.

I do hope I haven't kept you waiting too long.

Not in the least. I'm afraid I have a little disappointment for you, though.

You won't be able to meet Mr. Denmark. He flew to Europe this morning.

Oh, dear, I am disappointed. Wasn't that awfully sudden?

Oh, very. You know how those income tax people are when you skip a whole year.

And the result, of course, is that a longer lease is now possible.

Open, if you don't mind.

Oh, oh, certainly. Certainly.

How long a lease? Not that it matters if he's to insist on a thousand a month.

That's what I wanted to see him about, personally.

Oh, he won't be needing the place for years now.

I hear Mr. Whiskers really blew his top this time.

You mean he can't come back to this country?

It would be I understand the very height of folly.

Oh, I see. Well, it throws an entirely different light.

Where's that lease?

Well, I'm afraid I haven't got it with me.

Oh, never mind. You can mail it to me.

This is for two months, the first and the last.

- That's the deal, isn't it? - That's correct.

How soon would you like to take possession?

Oh, anything wrong with right now?

Nothing at all. It's a little unusual, of course, but...

Thank you so much, Mr. Benton. You've been awfully kind.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Page.

It's a genuine pleasure to do business with a woman of such decision.

- We in the real estate game... - Bye now.

Oh, yes, of course. Well.

Oh, I almost forgot. How long shall I make the lease for?

Oh, a year will be quite enough. Thank you.

But don't you think you oughta have it...

- Yes? - Bingo.

I'll be right over.

- To the left. - Thanks.

All right, put 'em on. No men here yet.

You certainly got here in a hurry. Did you take a taxi?

No, I didn't have enough money for a taxi

I had the Chrysler people demonstrate that new showboat for me again.

- The one with the gold trim? - Was it gold?

I didn't want to put on my specs with the driver there, you know.

The one they sent for me had gold trim.

Brother!

Smooth, huh?

Creamy. Are we really in?

- Built in. - I'll call Loco.

Loco who?

You know, that girl I was telling you about from Jersey.

You didn't tell me her name was "Loco."

It isn't. That's what the other models call her. It means crazy, you know?

That's what I know.

- Hello? - Bingo!

- Hold that for a minute. - Just a minute, Loke.

I can't shack up with a dame I haven't even met, and she's crazy too.

You don't have to. All I'm going to ask her is to come up here.

If you don't like her, that's the end of it.

- Is she class? - Is she. Didn't I tell you?

She's been on the cover of Harper's Bazaar three times already.

And she knows how to handle it?

- Well, let's see if she does. Loke? - Yes?

- How much money you got? - I've got a quarter.

That's wonderful. Stop in on your way up here and pick up lunch for us.

- How many? - Three.

Okay. Just as soon as I get something on.

There's a fine contribution to a million dollar proposition, one whole quarter.

Maybe, but she's awful clever with a quarter.

I just don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you enough.

I'm still so embarrassed.

You have no reason to be. Anybody can forget their money. I've done it myself.

I know, but... Oh, hi, honey.

- Come on in. - Come in.

This is a gentleman I met at the cold cuts counter.

- What did you say your name was? - Tom Brookman.

B-R-O-O-K-M-A-N. Brookman.

Well, this is my friend, Miss Pola Debevoise.

- How do you do? - Oh, and this is Miss Page, isn't it?

- Mrs. Page. - How do you do? It was very funny.

I was ordering some pastrami and potato salad,

and I heard Miss Dempsey explaining she only had a quarter...

You can just set that down. We'll take it from here.

Oh, wouldn't you like me to put them in the kitchen?

No, I don't think you'd better. The cook's not dressed.

- Oh, really? - Thank you very much.

Some other day. Give us a ring next week.

- I don't know your number. - That's all right. It's in the book.

Thank you very much, Mr. Brookman.

- But I don't know your first name. - He was really very nice.

I thought he might have lunch with us.

Look, the first rule of this proposition is that gentleman callers

have got to wear a necktie.

I don't want to be snobbish, but if we begin with characters like that,

we might just as well throw in the towel right now

Thanks, Mick. Keep the change.

- How do, Mr. Brookman? - Hiya, Pete.

The next thing to remember is a gentleman you meet among cold cuts

is simply not as attractive as one that you meet,

say in the mink department at Bergdorf's.

But he was cute, don't you think?

Sure he was, but then I never met one of those gas pump jockeys that wasn't.

- Is that what he is? - You bet your life.

I know those guys. I married one once. Very, very cute fellow.

- I didn't know you were really married. - Just got back from Reno.

Oh, then you must be loaded.

Mine was one of those divorces you don't read about. The wife finished second.

But that's against the law, isn't it?

I was absolutely nuts about that guy, and you know what he did to me?

First off, he gives me a phony name.

Second, it turns out he was already married yet.

Third, from the minute the preacher said, "Amen,"

he never did another tap of work.

The next thing I knew he'd stolen my television set and given it to a carhop.

When I ask him how about that, he hits me with a chicken.

- A live chicken? - No, a baked chicken, stuffed.

He sounds incompatible to me.

Last I saw of him, I stepped out of the car for a minute at a gas station.

I had to walk home.

Well, I'm surprised you'd ever want to get married again.

Oh, but that's the point about this whole setup.

Of course I want to get married again.

Who doesn't?

It's the biggest thing you can do in life.

The way most people go about it, they use more brains

picking a horse in the third at Belmont than they do picking a husband.

- Do they really? - It's your head you've got to use,

- not your heart. - Oh, I see.

Tell her your idea about this apartment.

Well, to put it simply, the idea is this.

If you had your choice of everybody in the world,

which would you rather marry, a rich guy or a poor one?

I think I'd rather marry a rich one.

All right. Where would you be most likely to meet a rich one,

in a walk-up on Amsterdam Avenue or in a joint like this?

Well...

I should say in a joint like this.

Okay, then, that's it. We're all working steady,

so we throw everything we make into the kitty,

and get a little organization into this marriage caper.

Class address, class background, class characters.

To be specific about it, nothing under six figures a year.

I've never heard anything so intelligent in my life.

If you want to catch a mouse, you set a mousetrap.

So, all right, we set a bear trap.

All we've got to do is one of us has got to knock off a bear.

- You mean marry him? - If you don't marry him,

you haven't caught him, he's caught you.

All my life, ever since I was a little girl, I've had the same dream,

to marry a zillionaire.

Do you know who I'd like to marry?

- Who? - Rockefeller.

- Which one? - I don't care.

I wouldn't mind marrying a Vanderbilt.

Or a Mr. Cadillac.

No such person. I checked.

Is there a Mr. Texaco?

No. But how about one of those rich maharajas?

How about three of them?

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we had three of them for dinner and they married us?

Think of all those diamonds and rubies.

And all those crazy elephants.

This is really living it up, isn't it?

People that live any other way are just crazy.

I wonder who's going to pay for it.

- Yeah, how about that? - Well, I'll tell you.

I knew it couldn't last.

Relax, will you? And somebody break open that other bottle.

Good afternoon. I'm Mr. Bennett of the Bennett Music Company.

- Are you the lady... - That's right. Come right in.

Thank you.

The reason I called you is,

what will you give me for this piano, cash?

Well,

it's a very handsome instrument.

Really, Pola, I think she's the most intelligent person I guess I ever met.

Well, it's not in first-class condition, you understand,

but we might be interested in paying you, say 2,500?

We'll take it.

Well, kids, where will we eat tonight,

the Stork or 21?

Hello?

Is this Trafalgar 7-5098?