Buffaloed

Jj

Jj

Fuck!

J you've gotta have heart j

j all you really need is heart j

j when the odds are sayin' you'll never win I

j that's when the grin should start j

j you've gotta have hope j

j mustn't sit around and mope j

j nothing's half as bad as it may appear j

j wait till next year and hope j

j when your luck is battin' zero j

j get your chin up off the floor j

j mister you can be a hero j

j you can open any door j

j there's nothin' to it buttodoitjd

j you gotta have heart j

j miles and miles and miles of heart j

j oh it's fine to be a genius of course j

j but keep that old horse before the cart I

j first you've gotta have heart j

j you've gotta have heart j

j yes you gotta have heart j

J when your luck is battin' zero j

j get your chin up off the floor j

j mister you can be a hero j

j you can open any door j

j there's nothin to it buttodoitjd

j you gotta have heart j

j miles and miles and miles of heart j

j oh it's fine to be a genius of course j

I'm gonna kill you, you fucking jagoff!

That's me, peg dahl.

People call me peg, Peggy, or pegger.

The maroon suit and shitty nurse shoes may not tell you this,

but I'm a hustler.

My unathletic ass just ran halfway across buffalo,

because an asshole in that building fucked with my money.

Do not fuck with my money.

Before I climbed ranks in the most prolific legal shakedown

in America, I was just an aggressive little shit with a

gift for gab and a slight hostility towards...

Buffalo, New York, the epicenter of the rust belts.

A city whose favorite meal is a discarded chicken part.

Hmm.

A city hopelessly dedicated to a staple of disappointment.

Hey. Don't rag on my bills.

A city whose appreciation for unhealthy lifestyles

ultimately led...

To my father's death.

Okay. What's this about?

I drew that.

Peg inc.

Our mission is to never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever...

Be scared of the financial what-ifs.

What if I can't afford clothes, so my daughter wears her

brother's disgusting hand-me-downs?

- Not true. - Shut up.

What if I can't afford food, so my kids only eat ten cent wings?

A small investment of a thousand dollars

in a semi-risky fund could grow to cover the cost of an lvy

league education, which is the beeline to the fortune 500

and financial freedom. And she's gone.

Hello?

I told you, that was my husband's credit card.

You're not getting nothing...

Because there's nothing to get.

Goodbye.

To continue, Henry Ford said...

I love your presentation, but sit your tush down on the sofa

and eat your wings.

Hey, didn't you listen? I hate wings.

I like wings.

Because you're grody.

You're grody.

Why can't we have normal food, like a tuna casserole?

Casseroles are pricey.

So, you're not gonna help?

You know what?

I can't afford supper, let alone a thousand dollars.

Well, if I had a thousand dollars, I'd give it to ya.

You don't, and you won't.

Peg, I can't think about investments right now.

The salon is not doing so well.

Then get another job.

Half of buffalo is outta work.

You're talking outta your ass, ma.

Peg dahl!

Dad would've helped me.

Listen, I love you more than the sun and the moon and the stars

above, but you gotta learn to start thinking about other

people and not thinking about yourself all the time.

Now sit down and eat your wings.

Fine.

It became clear to me that my mom didn't

have the vision.

Are you seeing this?

If we were ever gonna get out, I needed answers.

This is hilarious.

When I came to America, I had nothing.

Now I have everything I could ever dream.

The cars, the boats, the women. Total financial freedom.

What's with the channel?

Now I can pass this information onto you.

I already paid that one! How come...

The only person responsible for their

financial freedom is you. So what you wait for?

Come on. Let's make money!

From that moment on,

my life became a single-minded pursuit!

I love 'em so much, I could barely part with them.

What are you doing?

Getting 75 percent margins, ma.

Get in here or you're grounded. Now!

Go bills.

Go bills.

I became a student of money. While other kids

begged for allowances, I studied profit margins.

While other kids were scrapbooking pictures of pretty

ponies, I was compiling financial advice.

I was grooming myself to be the next Warren buffet.

I had a plan, go to an lvy league school,

then to wall street, then get so rich, some little girl was

gonna say she's grooming herself to be the next me.

But college is expensive, people.

And babysitting wasn't gonna pay for it.

I got smokes, one dollar apiece!

I got smokes.

One dollar apiece!

How many can I get?

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

Got smokes. One dollar apiece.

Hey, hey, hey. Gimme them smokes, bitch.

You can have as many as you want-

for one dollar apiece.

I said, gimme them smokes before I crack your noggin'.

Give me your best shot, dickwad.

Principal!

Oh, no, no!

Jj

Hey!

Get out.

Don't sit there.

Got your thing here.

I love that!

How'd you make such a big graphic?

My buddy's dad has like a gigantic printer.

So fancy.

Hey, shouldn't you put your money in a bank?

Three percent interest isn't worth 30 percent in taxes.

If I fill ten of these boxes, we're set for...

Life.

Oh, my god!

What? What is it?

Oh, my god! You got in!

No, I didn't!

You did! You got in!

Oh, my god.

To pegger!

The first one in the fam to go to a fancy-schmancy school!

Honey!

What's going on?

We can't pay for this.

What? We'll get a scholarship or loans or something.

Mm-mm, no. If we took out loans for all four years,

it would be 70 grand in interest.

Just...

In interest.

Well, I don't know all about that.

I never had a kid go to college before.

- No offense, honey. - None taken.

- But, good casserole, ma. - Thank you.

I like peas in my casserole.

If dad were here, he'd find way to get the money.

You know, that's true. He always had a hustle.

I remember one year, he took me to the bills game for my

birthday but then we got there, he scalped the tix.

Yeah, I was so pissed.

I was the one that bought them tix.

Where'd you make that graphic?

Tabatha!

Tabby! Tabatha!

Anybody seen this black girl, too much eyeliner?

These are like best seats ever. Where is she?

Ugh.

You okay, lady?

- Huh? - You okay?

Oh. So sweet. Yeah, I'm all right.

I just...

I think my friend flaked.

Not really sure why because these are the best seats ever.

They're like fifty-yard-line, seven rows up!

- Fifty-yard-line? - Yeah, fifty-yard-line.

I'll take 'em. I got, one...

You will? You sure? Two...

That will do. Yeah, just give me that.

Anyone need any tickets?

- No, you look good in that wig. - You look good.

- No, you look amazing. - No, you do!

God bless the bills, y' know?