Fargo

Okay, um--

Oh, shit. Shit! Shit! Shit!

Uh--

No, wait. T-tell him--

T-tell him I-I'll pay it all back,

I-I swear, and--

Ah. Ah!

Oh, dear.

Please.

For the love-- I got kids.

Don't move.

please! Please!

Please!

they won't--she won't stop, you know?

oh!

first prize is three fun-filled days in bismarck.

So get your entries in lickety-split.

pleased to meet ya.

So is this where he worked?

yeah, in accounting.

Just typin' away, and this other fella comes in,

Drags poor phil out by the necktie.

Nice guy too, super. Such a pity.

Yeah. Gambling problem, I heard.

You don't say.

I heard drugs.

I heard he, like, slept with a 13-year-old girl.

For pete's sake, bob, don't spread rumors

About the poor man.

Nah, it was gambling, for sure.

I got the security tape cued up downstairs.

Wanna see that?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

hard to tell much.

like I said.

Can you freeze it there?

You say you found the victim's clothes in the garage?

Phil? Yeah.

Lab says the fella cut 'em off with a knife.

Damn peculiar.

So you think this is your guy?

The one killed all those people over in bemidji?

Could be. He's a nasty enough fella.

who are you?

Great job! Okay.

In through the nose and out through the mouth.

Ladies, you are looking great, okay?

Keep up the good work.

Well, hello, you.

You got bronzer on your blackmail note.

Listen, listen, listen. I swear on my--

You couldn't find a smaller room for us to talk in?

What?

Nothing. Look,

Th--this whole thing, huge mistake, okay?

I never meant--

See, I just--I just--

I just wanted something for--for don, you know?

You done?

Here it is. You're screwed.

You made a choice, and this is the consequence.

Me, I'm the consequence.

Please. Please don't tell helena.

I don't work for helena.

I work for her husband,

Stavros milos, the supermarket king.

Oh, my god! Uh--uh--oh!

Oh. Oh!

Here, squeeze this. Oh!

Yeah.

Ugh! Oh, no.

You ready?

I've got two questions and one comment, understand?

First question, why $43,613?

gonna start a turkish bath.

See, back in the ottoman empire--

Second question, what do you know?

About what?

Stavros, the guy you're blackmailing.

You wrote a note. "I know about the money."

What do you know?

Uh, well, nothing really.

I mean, helena told the story so much--

About her husband and how he lies about his money.

So you're blackmailing a guy for something,

But you don't know what it is?

You ready for the comment?

You're an idiot.

Good news, I'm taking over.

Taking over what?

The blackmail.

You work for the guy.

Exactly. And now you work for me.

I'm confused.

That's okay, I'm not.

The first thing we need is a new blackmail letter.

Hey, maggie. Lieutenant in?

bathroom.

What?

he's in the bathroom.

Ah.

Um, lieutenant?

What? I'm takin' a dump.

Uh, yeah, so listen,

About that triple homicide over in bemidji--

Oh, for christ's sake. Talk to your shift commander.

Well, yeah, I would, you know, but he don't listen to me.

Who is this, dan hoskins?

Uh, no, sir.

Gus grimly. Grimly?

for christ's sake,

Aren't you animal control?

No. I just sub for those fellas sometimes.

So, listen, I pulled this car over the other night, speeder,

And, uh, well, I let the guy go with a warning,

But then--

Well, turns out, I ran the fella's plates--

On account of what you said at the briefing

About watchin' our "p"s and "q"s,

And, well, it turns out

That the car belongs to one of the victims.

One of the-- what?

Are you kiddin' me?

No sir. Uh, lester nygaard.

That's who the car... Mm-hmm.

Is registered to, but he wasn't driving,

Obviously, so I'm thinking it may be--might be the killer.

Shut up. For christ's sake,

You pulled over a stolen car and let the guy go

With a warning. Well--well, no, see--

It wasn't, you know, listed as stolen, you know, so--

And now, I checked this morning, and it's impounded,

As of yesterday, so-- stop!

It's goddamn sioux falls all over again.

Yes, sir.

W-what's sioux falls?

Shut up.

You're gonna look through every goddamn mug book in the state.

Yes, sir. And you're gonna find this guy.

Yes, sir. And you're gonna call bemidji.

And you're gonna tell them that you screwed up--you--

Absolving the rest of us of any dipshittery.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

he can afford it, your brother.

Kitty said he just got a big promotion

After only working there a year.

Kitty said they also got one

Of those fancy, new surround-sound systems.

Guess I married the wrong nygaard.

what? What are you gonna do?

You can't even face me when we're having sex.

lester, I need you to get down on the ground.

hold on. Don't-- there's nothing down--

lester, on the ground.

I didn't do nothing.

I didn't--I just got home. I just got home and--

Now, hold on. Hold on, don't--

There's nothing down there. This--that is not--

I didn't do nothing! I-I didn't do nothing!

I just came home. I just came--oh, jeez.

Yeah, so I closed it out with a spare and a strike, 222.

oh, yeah?

Yeah. Lester.

Well, I'll be. Hey, uh, lester.

I should've called, I guess, huh?

Please, it-- what can we do for ya?

Well, I thought I'd do some work.

You know, get back to it.

You're so brave.

Geez, you think you're ready?

Think so, yeah,

I mean, you can't just sit around the house, you know?

Good. Okay.

Uh, you want to do some filing or--

Uh, I was gonna run out to see gina hess.

Who's that? The widow hess.

I got some papers for her to sign.

Yeah.

On account of sam, her husband. He got murdered?

Bo!

Sorry, was that insensitive?

Anyways, did you want to take that over to her?

Which'd actually help me out a lot,

'cause I got a dentist thing, you know, so--

Um...

But, I mean, if you're not ready--

No, I'll-- it's the 614c, right?

And "d," yeah.

Did you get the soup I sent you?