Chance

Previously on "Chance"...

Nic thanked Pepper?

Right after she broke her nose.

My father hired new Pis to track me.

It'll just be for a couple of days.

Why don't you just talk to him,

just get everything out on the table,

even if it's only to establish terms?

My son... the last time I saw him,

he was just a little boy.

- What happened? - Well, gay is what happened.

Winter's people reached out.

I'm telling you, as a friend, you need to back off.

He wants to torment you,

and you can't let him get away with it.

We can't.

Winter filed another complaint.

I've lost my job.

Mr. Winter has suffered a trauma.

It's raised issues for him that he wants to work through

with therapy.

Does he want that, or do you want it?

He says he has to trust the process, trust you,

but I don't have to, and I don't.

I hurt people.

I hurt them so bad...

that they died.

I felt helpless.

Then I found a way not to be.

She woke back up...

at one point.

Regained consciousness.

Mommy! Mommy!

It's funny, she was, uh, pretty lucid talking about...

well, not funny,

but it's curious, the kinds of things people will say.

She said that she was worried about

a driver's test she had the next morning

and asked me if I was there to help her study.

To tutor her.

Her name was Catherine.

And she made me feel better.

That was the first one?

First one you... you hurt?

You killed?

That was your coping mechanism.

Yes.

But it didn't last.

No.

Once you know how, you want to feel better again.

How many?

How many have there been?

How do you choose them?

Your victims?

Sins choose us...

...according to our weaknesses.

But there are people

who shine with vulnerability,

whether they know it or not.

Their faces say,

"I am afraid of you."

Their faces tell you what they expect you to do to them.

They expect to be hurt.

They invite it,

because they expect it.

And if I chose anything,

it was because their weakness spoke to mine.

Were they all mothers?

A child shines with vulnerability.

A child who's been hurt expects to be hurt again.

Does that mean they deserve it?

Or do they deserve to be protected?

Cared for? Loved?

Who told you this,

about sin and weakness?

Who said that to you?

A very damaged woman

who was carrying her own terrible psychic pain

she tried to give to you... pass on to you.

Before she tried to destroy you.

I'm not dead.

I'm lost, but I'm not dead.

I'm not dead!

Hm.

Old school.

But effective.

How's this?

How about now?

Fear stops when you kill the thing you're afraid of.

Or it kills you.

How many?

He talked about how he kills them and how he tracked them.

He implied it was many,

but he never actually said a number.

He did name one, though... Catherine.

I-I... I had him.

He was right there with me.

Let's just go for a drive.

Maybe we just go for a drive.

Yeah. I'll drive you wherever you want to go.

I don't feel right.

Listen, I think you're being very brave, Ryan.

You've had to carry this whole thing alone for so long.

Give me a second.

You know what I think we should do right now?

I'd like to bring you to the hospital.

Get you admitted.

You got further than I ever did, than... than anyone could.

But then to fucking lose him...

Kitchen door open.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

What?

She's here.

Ryan, are you all right?

I'm sorry, I... What's going on here?

This... This doesn't change anything, all right?

I heard you. I want to help you.

Help him? He's a wreck because of you.

You can't go back on this now. You know that.

The only way out of this is through.

Please come with me now.

- Please? - Come with you?

Ryan, please!

I don't know if he actually wanted to stop.

You know what people do that don't want to stop?

They keep fucking going.

- He wants you to leave. - He didn't say that.

He doesn't need to.

What?

Maybe I should call 911.

Go ahead. Let's get the police here.

You're awfully confident.

Wonder why that is.

You're ready?

Let's call them.

I didn't get him to turn himself in,

I didn't get him to admit anything

that I could legally take to the police.

I should've...

My head was just fill... I wanted to...

What? Get yourself arrested?

Fuck that. You played it the way you could.

And you... you didn't blow it. You got us a name... Catherine.

I've never heard of any unsolved Catherines.

Maybe they never found her body.

Or maybe she's one of the bodies out in the Headlands, even.

I'm gonna look into that.

- Look into it how? - Well, I mean, I'm...

I'm gonna look into having someone look into it for me.

I've got this friend Frank at the D. A.'s office

who doesn't completely hate me yet...

I c... I can ask him.

Oh, and speaking of looking into things,

that fucking Lyndsay,

I looked into her way back when, and nothing.

Where is she from?

Uh, Connecticut or some shit. Why?

I don't know. Just grasping at straws, I guess.

Maybe Winter doesn't have any involvement

with Stevie Benjamin's death.

Oh, well, this is... Christ.

Maybe he just had a morbid fascination with it,

from growing up close by.

Maybe the rock that D found in his house

doesn't have the significance we thought it did.

Maybe since we're dreaming, I'd like a pony.

I know. I-I agree.

I'm just saying, if we're not dreaming, if we are right,

then we still don't actually know who that DNA belongs to.

No, we don't, do we?

So, Winter admitted that his...

coping mechanism is killing.

And he also admitted that it's not working anymore.

I don't even want to think about how he came to that conclusion.

I've got enough on my conscience as it is.

Right now, my focus has to be to get him back.

You know, when I was sitting opposite him,

he was rambling on about dealing out death...

...I thought about dealing it right back at him.

More than once.

I don't know how you do it, all those years.

Sitting opposite killers, encouraging them,

getting them to elaborate without...

Stabbing them in the fucking eye?

Let me tell you something.

You know how many times

I pulled out my piece in the line of duty?

7... 26 years.

You know how many times I've shot it?

Once.

You know how many people I've killed?

None.

If you're not acting in self-defense,

or the active defense of someone else,

then you're a fucking murderer.

Ryan Winter is a murderer.

And that's who he wants to be.

I'm not gonna be like him.

We have a deal.

Ryan Winter in front of the bar of justice,