Legit

I don't know what you're so worried about.

It's just a va... vacation.

Never just a vacation with my parents.

So we're finally gonna meet gunta.

You can't say it in front of her, Billy. You promised.

Come on. It can't be that bad.

You have no idea.

Hey, mate! How are you?

- Hey, dad. - Good to see you.

Hey. You must be Billy.

- No. I'm Steve. - Ah. Steve.

This is... This is Billy over here.

Hey, Billy! How are you, mate?

- Hi. - And I'm Walter.

Oh. Hi, Walter.

Welcome to America. How are you?

- Thanks, mate. - Where's mum?

Oh, she's coming up the...

You told me there weren't gonna be any stairs!

I told you to go around the back.

There's no stairs around the back!

Go around the back!

I'm already two steps up!

Hey, mum. Can I help you there?

- It's too late for that now! - Okay.

Don't worry.

I'll make it.

That's my mum.

Oh. Hello, everyone.

Hi, Mrs. Jefferies.

So... this is how you live.

Obviously you won't be staying in here, mum.

I've set my room up for you and dad.

I won't need to be staying in your vile sex den.

I can't stay long.

I have deep vein thrombosis.

I got it on the flight,

so I'll need to be rushed off to hospital before I die.

Mum, you're not dying.

Deep vein thrombosis?

Oh, she gets it all the time.

Is this some type of cheese?

What's going on?

I have already told you!

Do you not listen, boy?

I have got deep vein thrombosis!

Sorry, mum.

What is deep vein thrombosis?

The blood clot she gets in the leg

from sitting around doing nothing all the time.

You get that, Billy?

Um, I don't know.

Hi.

Hello.

Uh, guys? Um...

Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo!

No, no. Over here.

Yoo-hoo. Over here.

Whoo!

Jack, call the boys.

Mum, we'll meet you at the hospital, okay?

Oh. Bye-bye, darling.

Oh. I'm sorry, Jack.

I hope this doesn't ruin your vacation.

Ruin? My vacation has just begun.

Wow.

Jesus. Is your mom gonna be okay?

Yeah. I don't know.

Well, she's always sick, but...

- I never remember her having deep vein thrombosis. - Yeah, you do.

She had it when we went on that royal Caribbean cruise.

She was in the infirmary for four days.

I won that sexiest-man t-shirt down by the pool.

You won a sexiest-man competition

while your wife was in the hospital?

No. I actually came fourth.

Hey, Jack, your wife... This happen all the time?

Yeah, kind of.

Well, we'd better go visit her.

We don't need to do that. Life's for living.

Dad. She's still living.

If we don't visit her, there'll be hell to pay.

She'll be fine. Let's go have some fun.

And what about the beach down here?

It's full of bikini chicks!

I saw them as I was driving by.

- Dad! - What?

You want to look at girls in bikinis

while your wife's in the hospital?

Yeah. Why not?

Hey. We can go to six flags!

Oh, no. God. Not six flags.

I can't go on the roller coasters.

Because of that, I can't go on roller coasters.

Oh, God, this again.

Go on a roller coaster. Who's stopping you?

- You're stopping me, Billy. - I'm not stopping you from doing anything.

All right, all right. Stop, the both of you.

Stop it. We're not going to six flags.

I hate those roller coasters myself.

Hm.

We could go to the water park.

Okay. I really think we should visit mum.

There's girls in bikinis at the water park.

The water park sounds good.

All right! I'm going to get my suit!

- Dad. - All right. Look.

Now, I know what you're gonna say...

Let's go visit your mother first,

and then we'll go to the water park.

We're gonna go visit mum first.

Mm-hmm.

All right. I'll go get my swimsuit.

- Ah! Good to meet you, Jack. - You too, Walter.

You didn't want to go to that water park, did you?

No, but you got to keep the young fellas happy.

Listen, I found this rag, and it's got a coupon in it...

Do you happen to know the address of this place?

Yeah. Yeah.

I-I know where that place is. Yeah.

Hello, mum.

Oh, hello, love.

So, you came.

Yeah.

Hello, everyone.

Oh, look at that view! Gee!

You didn't have that on the ship's hospital, did you?

You can see everything there, can't you?

I hadn't noticed.

The nurses here seem very... unfocused.

Oh, Jack. Did you ring the boys?

I still haven't learned how to work

this bloody thing you gave me.

It's too complicated for me.

Wow.

Oh. Don't worry about her.

She's just an attention seeker.

Stop seeking attention!

Well, you're in good hands here, mum.

This hospital... one of the best in the world.

I've died here twice.

Yeah. And he had a black baby here.

You all look very dressed up.

Yeah. We're going to the water park.

Oh! That sounds like a lot of fun.

Steve.

I would have loved to have gone to a water park.

Now, come on, mum. You know that's not true, right?

Even when we were young and we went to water parks,

you never went on the slides.

Yes, I did.

- No, you didn't. - Come on.

If you boys have just come here to make fun of me,

you shouldn't have come at all.

Oh, give it up!

She can hear, you know.

Just acts like she can't.

Okay! That was a great visit.

- Yeah, it was. - All right.

We're gonna come back every day to see you, mum.

What, is that it, then?

Well, yeah. It's...

So that's as long as you're going to visit me for?

How... How long were we meant to visit?

Longer than that.

All right, then. Okay.

Oh, be quiet!

I've got visitors!

Mum, she seems pretty sick.

How's your sex addiction?

Do you find that sexual?

No.

- Hello, Mrs. Jefferies. - Mm!

- Time for your medication. - Hello.

Ooh!

Ooh, that's a lot of pills, isn't it?

If I take all of those, I'll rattle.

The doctor's on the floor now. He's here to talk to you.

Doctor?

Or he could come back after your visit.

No, no, no...

My mother's health is of a paramount importance right now.

Isn't it, mum?

We've got to get her better.

Get that doctor in right now.

- Right now. - All right. We got to get going.

Mum. Get better, mum!

- Walk. Let's go. - But...

- But... - Walk, dad, walk.

Water park!

Water park!

- Water park! - Will you two shut up?

You sound like bloody idiots!

Water park. Water park.

Oh, this is gonna suck.

Oh, come on, Billy. You'll have a great time.

You can go in the pool.

Great. It'll be just like physical therapy.

Oh, come on, Billy.

There's no girls in bikinis at physical therapy.