Love, Rosie

深呼吸 并且从头开始 Take a deep breath and start at the beginning.

告诉他们我们第一次是如何相遇的 Tell them how we first met.

嗨 嗨 Hi. Hi.

告诉他们 Tell them that

自从那时起 我们分享彼此的梦 ever since we shared our dreams...

我昨晚做了一个梦 I had a dream last night.

那是艾力克斯最奇怪的一个梦 ...even Alex's weirdest ones.

你知道划艇吗 You know a rowing boat?

你知道艇上有小圈圈 使桨固定在艇上吗 That little curvy bit the oar sits in?

-顺代带一提它叫桨锁 -一个什么 -It's called a rollock by the way. -A what?

桨锁 像是念"bollock" 只是用"R"当开头 Rollock, like "bollock" with an "R."

那玩意是我 我是那玩意 That was me. I was that thing.

不 让它变成我们的小秘密吧 No. Keep that as our secret.

罗茜 罗茜 是时候罗 Rosie? Rosie, it's time.

告诉他们这是 Tell them that this is,

这一定必须是 that this has to be...

所有人注意一下 Everybody!

这是在我人生中 最快乐的一天 ...one of the happiest days of my life.

拜托 Please!

对那些我还没 For those I haven't had the

打过招呼的朋友们 你们好 chance to say hi to properly,

我是罗茜 I'm Rosie.

而这一定是 And this has got to be

我人生中最快乐的一天 one of the happiest days of my life.

十二年前 罗茜的18岁生日 虽然因为喝太醉而没什么印象了

再一杯 Shots!

碧昂丝 Yeah! Beyonce!

-嗨 艾力克斯 -最近如何啊 兄弟 -Hi, Alex. -How's it going, mate?

还行啦 All right.

是艾力克斯 It's Alex!

这整件事都是我的错 It was totally my fault, the whole thing.

我真的很想相信你艾力克斯 真的 Oh, I'd love to believe you, Alex, I really would.

我了解我女儿是什么样子 I just happen to know my own daughter.

你会成为一个杰出的医生 A fine doctor you're gonna make

如果你继续朝这方面前进的话 if this is how you carry on.

为什么大家都在大叫 Why is everybody shouting?

昨晚我真的非常抱歉 I'm so embarrassed about last night.

不不不 你不要这样说 No, no, you don't have to be.

我昨天的行为简直糟透了 Ugh, I behaved so badly!

是没错 不过糟也可以是好事啊 Yeah, but bad can be good, too.

好事 它超级糟的好吗 Good? It was awful.

我光是想到这件事 就想要要吐了 Oh, I feel sick even thinking about it.

哪个部份 About which part?

全部 它从来没发生过 All of it. It never happened.

艾力克斯 不要讲出去好吗 你千万别跟任何人讲 Alex, okay? You can't tell anyone!

好啦 Right.

撤 撤 撤 Go, go, go!

我们怎么从医院回家的啊 How did we get home from the hospital?

我妈带我们回来的 Uh, Mom picked us up.

他们需要父母的名字 They needed a parent's name,

所以 很明显的我不应该交出你父母的名字 so, I obviously didn't want to give yours.

然后她觉得这都是我的错 And she thinks it's my fault anyway,

我会带来坏的影响力啊 I'm a terrible influence. Blah, blah, blah.

你是啊 Oh, well, you are.

所以 现在我必须每天花两小时 So, now, I have to spend two hours

待在图书馆里面两星期 in the library every day for a fortnight.

-恶梦啊 -其实它还有可能更糟呢 -Nightmare. -Well, it could be worse.

贝瑟尼·威廉姆斯刚刚 在那里获得一分兼职工作 Bethany Williams has just got a part time job there.

是 Yeah, right.

什么 What?

贝瑟尼·威廉姆斯 Bethany Williams?

忘了吧 虽然连我都想跟她上床 Forget it, even I want to sleep with her.

依你的观点来看 她曾经用眼神给我暗示 For your information, she has been giving me the eye.

你为啥不把你前额的痘痘挤掉呢 why you haven't squeezed that zit on your forehead.

-去你的 -不不不 过来给姊姊看 我可以帮你挤 -Fuck off! -No. Come here. I can do it for you.

别碰我 你这家伙 Don't touch me! Don't you dare!

现在看着格雷格的那家伙 Just look at Greg right now.

根本花花公子一个 What a bimbo.

他邀请我去学校的舞会 He invited me to the school dance.

什么 那你怎么回答 Uh, what did you say?

别惊讶 很明显的 我会跟你一起去的啦 No, obviously. I'm going with you.

艾力克斯 Hey, Alex.

我今天在图书馆里怎么没看到你呢 I missed you in the library today.

我没有任何 Yeah, uh, I had nothing...

我是说 我是有一点有一点忙 Uh, I mean, yeah. I was a bit... A bit of busy...

不要忘了我 Don't be a stranger. Yeah.

绝对不会的 Yeah, absolutely not.

我们图书馆见 I'll see you there.

-女孩们 -他跟你讲什么啊 -Hey, girls! -What did he say to you?

别这么可悲啊 Pathetic.

她只是想打个招呼罢了 She's mine for the taking.

你很幸运她没有让你吃螺丝 You're lucky she didn't trip over your tongue

并且拖着你的舌头穿越过这里 dragging halfway across the ground.

好啦 我知道啦 Whoa. Okay. All right.

好吧 既然你这么在行 给我点意见 Well, give me some tips then, if you are so clever.

我要如何诱惑一个女人 How do I go about seducing a woman

谁很明显的不是我能追到的 who is apparently out of my league?

-你是认真的 -没错 当然 -Is that a serious question? -Yeah, absolutely.

好吧 你是"那个"条件比较不利的 Mmm, well, you're at a disadvantage

"那个"你知道的 处男 being a, you know, virgin.

不 不 不 别担心 No, no, no, all right?

我们可以改变它 We can work with that.

首先 你要变酷 忽视她 First you have to be cool. Ignore her.

表现的像是你随时可以把她 也可以甩她 Act like you could take it or leave it.

你看 这我可要好好练一下 You see, that I've had practice at. Hmm.

第二 你要让她觉得 Uh, second, you have to make her feel like

你从她身上看到某些独一无二的特质 you've seen something in her no one else has.

像是她的灵魂 Like her soul.

在忽视她的同时 While also ignoring her?

当然 Yes.

好吧 那有什么跟打炮有关的呢 Okay, and what happened to the sex?

这就是跟打炮有关的啊 This is about the sex!

靠 你讲的这个真他妈的操蛋 God! You're so fucked up.

你绝对想像不到 Mmm. You have no idea.

她要我带她去舞会 She wants me to take her to the dance.

真的 Really?

想像啦 Yeah, imagine.

带她去 假如她对你来说这么重要的话 Take her, if it means that much to you.

拜托 这样你会没舞伴的 Come on. You'd have no one to go with.

我才刚被本年级最适合的舞伴问过好吗 艾力克斯 I got asked by the fittest guy in our year, Alex.

我觉得我没问题 I think I'm fine.

什么 所以这对你没造成任何困扰咯 What, so actually this is quite convenient for you.

好吧 既然这样 那我去问她能不能和我一起参加 All right. Well, yeah, I'll go ask her then.

去吧 Go for it.

好吧 我会去问的 Okay. Fine, I will.

贝瑟尼 贝瑟尼 嗨 Bethany? Bethany, hi.

好啊 Yeah!

-你的脸真的很烦耶 一直冒头 -得了 -Your face is annoying me. -Come on.

-我有新消息 -我也是 -I've got news. -Me, too.

我要专心上课 这样考试才会过 I need to concentrate so I can pass my exams

然后过着爽爽生活 and get a life.

我脱离处男了

哈罗 还在吗

哪个女的这么倒霉

千万不要是贝瑟尼 Not Bethany!

贝瑟尼

干你娘 Fuck!

那个罗茜·邓恩 Right, Rosie Dunne,

自己到校长办公室报到 get yourself down to the headmaster's office.

不 不 不 这都是我的错 辛普森先生 No, no, no, it was my fault, Mr. Simpson.

我有一些必须告诉她的话 I had something I needed to tell her.

好吧我了解了 艾力克斯 恭喜你 So I see, Alex. Congratulations.

没错 艾力克斯 Yes, Alex!

我知道我们不是正式地谈话 I know we're not officially talking,

但是我需人帮我绑领结 but I need help with my tie.

有那么一分钟 我想你可能 For a minute there, I thought you might be

爱上我了或什么呢 in love with me or something.

艾力克斯 你在我心永远都是那个 Alex, you will forever be the boy

用我最爱的派对服装去擦 who wiped bogeys on my favorite

高尔夫球的男孩 好吗 party dress, okay?

不要自恋了 Don't flatter yourself.

好耶 Good.

我知道异性朋友关系 I know boy-girl friendships

有时候也可以变得复杂 can be quite complicated sometimes,

但是你知道的 我永远在这 如果你需要人讲讲话的话 but you know I'm always here if you need to talk.

你觉得如何 What do you think?

胸部看起来自然就好 还是要集中托高 Boobsau naturel or pushed up?

集中或自然 In? Or out?

那个 我想 我想那取决于 Well, uh, I mean, it depends.

它是为了跳舞或它是为了 Is it for dancing, or is it, um...

谁知道呢 Who knows?

所以 这个工具男跟你约在哪 So, where is this tool meant to be meeting you?

你讲的真讨厌 我想应该在前面吧 You're so rude! Um, I think at the front.

对吧 Uh, yes...

美女 正妹 Hey, gorgeous.

回头见 See ya!

傻子 Wanker.

好吧 Okay.

干 Fuck!

它只是 Oh, just...

-你之前曾经干过 -当然 你有吗 -You have done this before? -Yeah. Haven't you?

它就像刷牙一样轻松 It's like brushing my teeth.

妈的 Ahhh! Bollocks!

-它看起来 让我帮你开好吗 -不 别管了 -That's... Look, let me help you... -No, leave it!

好 我打开了 Okay, I've got it. Fuck! Ouch.

好勒 快点上吧 快点快点 好勒 Okay, quick! Quick, okay.

我要上了 好勒 快上罗 Here we go! Okay, quick!

干好爽 Sweet Jesus!

我知道 我知道 I know. I know.

好耶 Okay.

-套套勒 -什么 -Where is it? -What?

-套套啊 -我不知道啊 -The thing. -I don't know.

说真的 格雷格 它在哪 Seriously, Greg, where is it?

它在你那啊 You had it!

看起来 它不可能就这样消失啊 Look, it can't have just disappeared!

天啊 挫屎了 Oh, God! Oh, shit!

罗茜 你找到它没 Rosie? Have you found it?

你需不需要我帮你看一下 Do you want me to have a look for you?

-真的 -当然 你趴下来我帮你找 -Really? -Yeah, go on all fours.

滚出去别烦我 Bugger off!

-罗茜 -艾力克斯 太好了 你在哪 -Rosie! -Alex! Thank God! Where are you?

我正冲出去 I'm on my way out!

不 等等 你一定要帮帮我 No, wait, you've got to help me,

我发生了一点意外 there's been an accident!

什么 Christ, what?

不 不 不 抱歉 没事 No, no, no, sorry, no,

我就是说没事的意思 什么事都没有 that's what I meant. Everything's fine.

天哪 你吓到我了 Jesus, you scared me!

我是说 有些意外发生了 跟那个工具男有关 I mean, there was an accident, um, with the thingy

就是那个格雷格 你知道 with Greg, you know?

-这样的事常发生 罗茜 -不 不 艾力克斯 -Well, that happens, Rosie! -No, no, Alex.

发生了我需要立刻解决的事你懂吗 艾力克斯 Something that I need to figure out right now, Alex.

我需要取出它 I need to get rid of it.

它不见了 然后我找不到它又不知道要怎么做 It got lost and I can't find it and I don't know what to do.

你讲的我完全听不懂啊 罗茜 You're not making any sense, Rosie!

你能不能等一下再讲这些 Can we just talk about this later?

不要啊 艾力克斯 拜托 No, Alex, please!

好吧 那你要讲的非常清楚 准确 Okay, you need to be really clear and really precise!

好吧 Okay!

保险套掉下来卡在我阴道里 The condom came off inside my vagina