The French Italian

- Cookies! - Yeah.

Did you make these?

Of course, family recipe.

Uh, I did the icing. Um...

Mm-hmm.

Wow.

Kelsey, the place looks amazing.

So nice.

-No. -So nice.

No, no, no, this place is a dump.

We're gonna have the whole thing redone.

Valerie!

Hello!

Muah.

Doug.

Jimmy.

Kelsey complaining about the stairs?

-Jimmy. I told you no. -Just asking a question.

-That's-- no. We said-- that's-- -Why are you doing this?

Has she told you how many stairs are in this townhouse?

No.

She knows the exact number.

Okay, don't mock me because my quads are--

Are out of shape.

We're, um, playing up the marital banter

for your benefit.

Oh, hello!

- Dawn, you look so great! - Oh, my God!

Rosie, you look amazing.

- Oh! - Your shoulders!

Hello! My best friends!

Oh, I haven't seen y'all in forever!

When was the last time we saw you?

I know, right?

Oh, I'm so glad Kelsey and Jimmy are back.

I miss these parties.

I've been really out of the loop.

- Oh, my God, I know. - I miss this one so much.

Aw!

We just moved in together, but we haven't seen each other

since this morning.

-Breakfast. Oatmeal. -Mm.

Y'all look so gorgeous.

Maybe I should get into running too.

Honestly, if I didn't run every single day,

I would literally murder someone.

Oh, you think she's joking,

but she took three days off for a knee injury,

and she literally stabbed me in the arm.

Really?

I did, I did, I did. But like--

It was just a little poke with a paring knife,

and I was being very annoying that day,

so I totally understand why she did it.

Yeah, I'm really annoying too.

We're all three annoying, and it's fine.

Oh, my God. Is that Javier?

I was told no exes would be here.

Oh, my God.

It said so on the invite, no exes.

Are you okay?

I was jonesing for New York like crazy.

The weather, the-- the esprit de corps,

the way my bodega guy calls me boss.

Oh, yeah.

Nothing ever changes.

I mean, sure, things change but nothing really ever changes.

Yeah, you know, Val got fired over the summer,

you know, which is pretty rough.

Not financially, you know, 'cause we're good financially.

It's just, you know, I still work from home,

and we were just at the apartment together a lot,

and--

Which we love.

No seriously, I didn't know

I needed a little extra Doug time.

Yeah, I think she got a little Dougged out.

-I mean. -No, I didn't.

No?

-No, never. -All right.

- Really. - You two are gross.

Kidding.

Valerie, I'm so sorry about your job.

Oh, it's fine.

I actually already have a new one.

- Oh. - If you can believe.

Congrats. What's the job?

Same thing I did before, just PR.

Actually dreading it a little bit.

Yeah.

She enjoyed being a lady of leisure.

-I really did. -Yeah.

Even if it drove Doug a little bonkers.

No, it's fine at the apartment.

We just, uh, you know, we had a little bit an issue

with our downstairs neighbor.

The whole time we lived there,

we had this downstairs neighbor

in the garden apartment who was a quiet single guy

that we never ever heard.

And we only occasionally saw him smoking in the backyard

in a funny bathrobe.

Oh, look, the guy's out again.

Well, I like to think if we had access

to a full backyard, we would make good use of it.

Maybe? Right?

- Would we? - Yeah.

Would we just invest in a large and elaborate

homegrown marijuana system too?

Probably large and elaborate.

Stop!

- You sound good. - I know.

Howdy ho!

Howdy ho, neighbor!

Hello. Nice. Thank you.

Treats! You're welcome.

Did the guy get a dog?

The guy made a friend.

Who was she? We had no idea.

But at first, they were all over each other.

- It's slipping. - No, it's not slipping.

- Yes, it is! - You're clenching.

It's not in. It's not in. It's--

- Just relax. - I'm relaxed!

- Okay. - I don't--

Relax more.

I don't know why we have to do this today.

I'm not in the mood at all.

Because it was on the calendar.

Okay, fine. Just-- just...

It'll be worth it. I know, I know.

All right, just-- just put it over here.

- It'll be worth it. - Watch the rug, watch the rug.

I'm good, I'm good.

It was only when we removed the AC for the winter

that we first noticed it.

Okay.

Oh, God!

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm proud of us.

Same.

Is that La Bamba?

What is that?

Is it the neighbors?

It's not Lou Diamond Phillips.

What's that?

It's La Bamba.

I don't know. Sounds like a dying bird.

What is it?

Oh, my God.

They got a karaoke machine.

Karaoke?

They were doing karaoke.

With a microphone, and a little speaker and--

And everything.

Karaoke?

In an 130-year-old brownstone?

Who-- who would do something like that?

-Trash people. -Ugh!

Yeah. Complete trash people.

Awful!

I mean, I'm not gonna put, like, sprinkling sugar on the situ--

Sugar coat.

Sugar coat.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat the situation,

but it was very bad.

A nightmare.

We should go say something.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'll-- I'll go talk to them.

Yeah.

I'll be the man and go-- and go talk to them.

Thank you.

All right. Son of a...

Should I...

Okay.

Should tuck these in.

They stopped.

Thank God.

Pbbt!

Do you want me to go and, uh, talk to them,

you know, for future stuff?

Yeah. Thank you.

That seems kind of violent.

Sounds kind of scary.

Yeah.

So that's how it was, either singing or screaming.

Deciphering their fights became one of our main hobbies.

Hello.

I-- I-- I don't wanna be-- - I don't wanna be judgmental.

Mm-mm, mm-mm, hmm.

But I-- I think the guy is abusive.

Thank you for saying that.

Yeah. Like--

I completely agree. He's like--

He's always yelling at her.

-Textbook bully. -Yeah.

He has low self-esteem, so he tries to be tough.