Top Hat

I beg your pardon, I beg your pardon.

Good evening.

- Good evening. - Good evening Mr. Hardwick.

- Has Mr. Jerry Travers come in yet? - Yes sir.

He's been waiting for you the entire evening sir.

The entire evening? Oh dear, dear. Thanks.

Begging your pardon sir, but is that the Mr. Travers...

the well known American gentleman sir?

It is indeed, he's come over to star in my show, his first London appearance.

- Your show Mr. Hardwick? - Well, I'm producing it.

I don't want any of the members here to know, I want to surprise them.

Oh, I'm sure they'll be surprised Mr. Hardwick.

Hello Jerry, I'm sorry I kept you waiting.

Jerry, there are a lot of things that I have to discuss...

so I want you to come over to my hotel now.

Jerry, I forgot to tell you. I want you to stay here for the night.

- I'm sorry, I can't do it. - Oh, But you must, old man really.

See, at the moment I'm having a sort of a problem with my valet.

Oh, well then, what you want me to do, press your pants?

Oh, no, no, you could, wouldn't know how. No, you don't understand, it's my man Bates.

- We had a bit of a tiff. - Oh, how terrible.

- You, you didn't come to blows or anything? - Nothing like that.

We're not speaking to each other. We had rather a clash about taste.

You see, Bates insists...

that a square tie is the only possible tie that can be worn with evening clothes.

A square tie, imagine, I prefer the butterfly.

- Well, I think Bates is right. - Bates is never right.

- Well then, why don't you fire him? - That's a little difficult.

I'm hoping against hope that the man will just disappear.

Well, I hate to interfere in these little family squabbles...

but let's hope he'll approve of me.

But there's ever any telling with Bates.

- Well, there you are. - If you please.

- Good evening sir. - Good evening.

Allow us to introduce ourselves sir, we are Bates sir.

Oh, really?

- We are Jerry Travers. - Welcome to our menage.

Thank you Bates, thank you. It seems that I'm to stay here tonight.

At least that was the idea of our beloved impresario.

- Whose idea? - Mr. Hardwick.

Oh, his idea.

- Well, welcome anyhow. - Oh, thank you Bates.

Oh, pardon sir, but may we make a personal observation?

- Well, not too personal. - Oh, no sir.

It's merely we feel impelled to compliment you sir, upon your excellent taste in ties.

- They like me. - You never know.

Where on earth did you ever find him?

Well, from the Salvation Army as a matter of fact.

I sent them a pair of very old shoes.

Oh I see, and the shoes came back and Bates was in them.

And he's been wearing my good ones ever since.

Oh, how's Madge feeling?

Oh, she's fine, thanks Jerry. The climate at the Lido is done her a lot of good.

Fine, fine.

Too bad she won't be able to be here for the opening tomorrow night.

- Isn't it? - She's heartbroken, really.

However, she's expecting us to fly down to Italy for a weekend.

Fly down to Italy for a weekend? Well I can't, I haven't got any goggles.

Oh, my word Jerry, you'll have to go, she's counting on us.

You see, she's going to have a young friend visit her.

I suspect there is something in the air, you know Madge and her matchmaking proclivities.

Oh, is she expecting me for a weekend or a wedding?

- You can't tell, you know how wives are. - No, I don't, how are they?

Wives? Why, they always have a little scheme and...

Look here young fellow, I think it's about time you found out for yourself.

- Oh, you do? - I certainly do.

No thanks Horace, in me you see a youth who is completely on the loose.

Hello, this is Miss Tremont, I'd like to speak to the manager immediately.

Hello, are you there? Who? Oh, the manager, yes.

- And I can't hear a word you're saying. - There's a young lady downstairs.

Oh, a young lady, at this time of night?

Oh, she can't come up here now. No, no, no, I better come down myself.

Jerry, go right ahead, a young lady downstairs evidently wants to see me.

Hello.

Won't you come in?

I'm awfully glad you dropped in.

I dropped up from the room below where I been trying to get some sleep.

Oh, I'm sorry I, I didn't realize I was disturbing you.

You see, every once in a while, I suddenly find myself...

dancing.

Oh, I suppose it's some kind of an affliction.

Yes, yes, it's an affliction.

St. Vitus' dance.

And it only occurs at this time of night?

Yes, really, it only occurs at this time of night.

As a matter of fact, I really shouldn't be left alone.

Yes, I can see that, you probably should've a couple of guards.

- I think you very unkind to make fun of me. - Oh, I'm sorry.

- I wish you wouldn't leave. - Why not?

I think I feel an attack coming on.

It is.

- So I see. - There's only one thing stop me.

- Oh, you must tell me what it is. - My nurses always put their arms around me.

But I'll call the house detective and tell him to put his arms around you.

Good night.

Oh Jerry. Oh, what you doing here? What you carrying that for?

Who's young lady?

What young lady? Oh, that call wasn't for me, it was for you.

- Somebody is registered a complaint. - I know, I've just seen the complaint.

She's lovely, she's delightful, she's charming and she wants to sleep.

Oh, she does?

And I'm going to help her and you're going to help me, take this.

No, bring it in here and guard it with your life.

- Oh, what do you going to do? - Never mind.

Look here, what's the idea?

- The young lady downstairs wants to sleep. - So you told me.

Well, I appointed myself her official sandman.

But Jerry...

What else do you got?

I'm sorry sir, but you cleaned out the shop.

Well, you better tell them to plant some more for tomorrow.

They are all to go to Miss Dale Tremont sir?

That's right.

Her room number is 304.

Ah, what's that?

Oh, that's for the opening of a butcher shop sir.

- Send that up too. - But sir, a horseshoe?

Why yes, I may want to order a peach orchard tomorrow.

What's the number of your room sir?

Just charge it to Horace Hardwick, room 404.

Yes sir.

I wonder what Mr. Beddini is going to say about this.

Oh, what can he say?

Well, he's been sending her flowers daily ever since they came here.

And entre nous...

the desk clerk is intimated that Mr. Beddini provides Miss Tremont with all the niceties.

- Including her clothes. - Really?

And her niceties are very nice.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

- I, I do hope you slept well last night. - I slept well enough, but not long enough.

I'm sorry, I was hoping there was something I could do to square myself.

Oh, that's quite all right.

I thought perhaps I could drive you to the stables.

Oh no, thank you. I have a hansom cab waiting for me outside.

With a horse in front of it?

Yes. You see, the stable people always use them, they feel the horse is coming back.

Oh, where is he been?

We're leaving tonight. Has Mr. Beddini made arrangements?

Yes Miss Tremont, he's ordered your baggage to be picked up at 7 o'clock.

Thank you.

- Driver. - Yes miss?

Can't you go any faster than this?

Lord love a duck miss, I can but I'm not allowed to leave the horse.

I meant the horse, of course.

It's like this miss...

You see, the horse is kind of tired today...

on account of having won the Grand National Friday.

Are you trying to tell me that this is a racehorse?

Yes miss, and I've got his pedigree too.

As a matter of fact, his sire was Man O'War.

Well? Who was his dam?

- I beg your pardon miss? - I said who was his dam?

Oh, I don't know miss, he didn't give a...

Peekaboo.

Stop this cab at once.

I don't know how, I've never handled anything more complicated than a Duesenberg.

- Take it easy Mavis. - Oh, what we going to do?

In dealing with a girl or horse, one just lets nature take its course.

There we are miss.

I, I told you the horse would bring you to the right place.

What is the strange power you have over horses?

Horsepower.

Don't, don't I even get any thanks?

Buy yourself a new hat.

Cab miss?

Cab miss, cab miss?

May I rescue you?

No thank you, I prefer being in distress.

Charming little spot you have here. When is the concert start?

Just as soon as you and the rain stop.

Oh no, please. You wouldn't like to be just a little bit more friendly, would you?

Why should I? I don't know you from Adam.

Maybe it's the way I'm dressed.

- Are you afraid of thunder? - Oh no, just the noise.

- You know what thunder is, don't you? - Of course.

It's something about the air.

No, no...

when a clumsy cloud from here meets a fluffy little cloud from there...

he billows towards her...

she scurries away and he scuds right up to her.

She cries a little and there you have your shower.

He comforts her, they spark.

That's the lightning.

They kiss, thunder.

Who is sending you this horse's shoe?

How cute. Alberto, I've seen him. I've talked to him, I've danced with him.

- Him? Who is this him? - Who? Oh, his name is Adam.