Wonder Woman

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to the Everite Computer Company,

the largest designer and manufacturer of digital and analog computers

in the eastern United States.

Our reputation for producing high quality computers like myself

has spread not only across our nation,

but across European and Asian nations as well.

Prospective buyers such as yourselves can rest assured

that the Everite Company is more than capable

of answering your every need.

Whether those needs are of an industrial,

clerical or educational nature,

our company, with its 12 years of experience and success,

is ready to serve you.

The presentation which follows

was designed not only to demonstrate that fact,

but to introduce the brave new world...

...which computerized systems can introduce to you.

My name is Evers.

Within my circuitry are stored the designs

for countless other computers.

These computers, like myself,

ease the everyday burdens of both business and government.

In fact, it is quite likely that your lives are touched every day

by systems which Everite has created.

And now, so that your specific questions can be answered,

may I introduce the founder and director of the Everite Computer Company, Mr...

Uh, Mr... Uh...

Mr...

That's Mr., uh...

The founder and director, Mr...

The name is...

Mr...

- Fix it! - That's Mr...

What's wrong with it?

Its central memory bank is gone. It's been wiped out.

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman

Get us out from under

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman

Thanks a lot.

I didn't know it was possible to rob a computer.

Yeah, no one did, but apparently someone found a way

to siphon information in its electrical form right out of the memory banks.

Meaning that that same person

can feed the electricity back into some other unit.

Yeah, and have access to the original programming.

And this genius can probably add phony information into programs

- Without removing them. - Yeah.

I'm afraid computer fraud is the least of our worries.

Here's a list of all the computer designs stored in the Everite system.

The thief has got access to all the computers?

These'll probably be our next robbery victims. In fact,

the phone company's already reported a theft. Take a look.

"Potomac Gas and Electric, Equinox Insurance,

Internal Retrieval Associative Computer." Steve!

Our very own.

Right.

Oh, that's great. That's just great.

Shut that door and get in here.

One more to go, huh?

Warning device!

- Guess I forgot it, huh? - Yes.

Which means you had no way of getting in touch with me

if anything went wrong.

What were you gonna do?

Scream at the top of your lungs?

Here.

Well, take it.

What is that?

Someday I'm going to have your brain replaced with one that works.

Can't wait to hear what Ira has to say about this.

He'll probably take it a lot better than we are.

- What's that? - That's the Rover. Rover!

It's something the lab boys have been working on, a roving computer.

Oh, that's good. I thought I'd been in the field too long.

Hope it's not another candidate for our thief.

No, no, he's actually a computer module.

He's programmed by I.R.A.C. to respond to specific stimuli in specific ways.

Uh, well...

What's he programmed for now?

The boys are still testing him.

Today he's just circling the corridors,

responding to certain voices like mine.

Hey, Rover!

You are not in today's program.

Well, when he starts delivering the morning coffee

I'll talk to the lab boys.

Hey, that's what they said he'll be doing next week.

It is obvious that whoever is responsible for the theft

is mentally superior to my programmers.

Ira, all I want you to do

is try to figure out which computer is next in line to be robbed.

Knowing that a phenomenon exists which I cannot explain is disturbing.

I can understand that, Ira.

The pattern of reported thefts indicates

that the Potomac Electric Power Company computer will be victimized next.

Okay, then that's where I'll start.

After the Power Company computer, the I.R.A.C. computer will be robbed.

You're second in line?

Affirmative. it might be advantageous to enlist the aid of Wonder Woman.

Thank you for the advice, Ira. I'll keep you posted.

But you can't rob a computer.

Well maybe we can't, but I assure you, somebody can.

Well, I assure you, no one can rob our computer,

whether they've stolen its design or not.

The area we're about to enter is off limits even to me!

No one can possibly get in.

- Who's that? - Call the police.

- He's in trouble. - Not quite yet.

He's still inside the plant. And he's still moving.

All right. Now tell me who you are.

They've caught him!

Much as he deserves to suffer...

I suppose I will have to save his pathetic skin.

Somebody help me!

Somebody help me!

Please help!

Are you all right?

Relax. It'll be okay.

That is the last time

that I save your stupid and inefficient neck.

Yes, sir.

- You have my word. - No.

You have my word.

- Now, put that thing on the table. - Yes, sir.

I didn't get the program.

No matter, it isn't going to influence my plan.

- But I almost got caught. - Wonderful.

Allowing the opposition to jump to the false conclusion

that their adversary was some pea-brained escapee

from some bodybuilding school,

who derived enormous but simple-minded pleasure

out of being able to black out the nation's capital. You see?

I arranged it so even your stupidity would pay off.

- But Wonder Woman ID'd him. - A situation easily remedied.

However, I'll have to undertake to perform the next task myself.

I don't dare entrust it to your indelicate hands.

The information contained in the I.R.A.C. computer is much too critical.

Here's that stuff you wanted, sir.

Good.

That means your presence is no longer required, doesn't it?

You were right about the Potomac Gas and Electric Company.

There was an attempt on their computer.

Did you doubt the reliability of my previous warning?

Never. Thanks to you, we were able to stop him.

Then you captured the person responsible for the robberies?

I'm afraid not. He got away.

News of his escape is disappointing.

His next victim will be me.

We're as disappointed as you are. Believe me.

I contain much information of a highly secret nature,

as you well know, Diana Prince.

I'm well aware of that, Ira.

Would it help if I gave you a description of him?

Perhaps. Please do so.

Okay. He was, uh, tall,

about 6'3", 200 pounds, curly blonde hair, blue eyes.

He tried to disguise himself with a mustache and dark sunglasses.

How's that?

Were any peculiarities in his speech pattern noted?

Sorry. The opportunity for idle chatter never arose.

The description matches no one in my memory banks

that would have any logical significance in this case.

Well, have you any suggestions?

Your only recourse is to check police mug files

and attempt to identify the criminal visually.

I was afraid of that. As usual, you're a fund of information.

Please see to it my funds are not withdrawn, Diana Prince.

We're trying, Ira. We really are.

I've retrieved the film you requested

of the Air Force Academy banquet.

Good.

Roll it, please, Cori.

I owe a great deal to this man, as I'm sure you all do.

So let's welcome Dr. Hinkley Bernard.

Thank you very much, Steve, Major Trevor.

"Major Trevor. I'm... "

I'm sure you will all be very happy to learn

that I'm not going to start off with a joke...

"I'm not going to start off... "

...in this completely unrehearsed speech.

"Completely unrehearsed speech."

You were in my Physics Center, rocketry classes...

"Physics and rocketry classes."

"I remember all of them anyways."

Let us then address ourselves if you would, gentlemen

to the matter at hand which is...

A little more volume, please, Cori.

Since the man you saw tried to disguise himself,

- he must have had a record. - That's right, Officer.

Uh, Sergeant Dobson.

Well, lucky for you,

the mugshots you'll go over have been incorporated

into the most efficient filing system known to police science.

At least that sounds encouraging, uh...

- That's Sergeant Dobson, remember? - Right.