The Brokenwood Mysteries

When the '80s happened, I was too young to understand it.

Now I'm relieved I missed it.

Well, I sure remember the '80s, riding my Kawasaki

through the Himalayas, my ghetto

blaster strapped to my back carrier,

listening to Iron Maiden.

Now, that was music.

That stuff tonight?

Yeah.

I've had root canals more enjoyable.

To think they're booked for two bloody nights.

Oh, God.

Spare me.

Still, all in all, another night

building the legend of the Croc and Panther

on the touring circuit.

Tonight, Stolen Arrow, but next month, who knows?

Maybe the Rolling Stones unplugged or the Grateful Dead.

Dream on, Ray.

- Good night. - Night.

The hell?

Jesus Christ!

God. Oh my God.

Hey. Hey, hey.

Hey, hey.

Stay with me, honey.

I'll call an ambulance.

Oh.

I think it might be a bit late for that.

You might want to call a hearse.

Sorry to keep you up past your bedtimes.

Yes.

Well, I had actually just poured myself a glass of wine

and was about to dye my eyebrows,

but this looks a lot more interesting.

Mm.

Now, according to Ray, she fell off the roof.

Fell or jumped?

Not clear.

That's why uniform called us.

They felt something was up.

And then down?

That's a bit soon.

Maybe they were triggered by her outfit.

Was she some kind of clown?

If she was, that outfit isn't funny.

It's a bit more tragic.

Hello, Mike.

Are you ready for me?

One moment, Gina.

Of course.

Do we have a name?

Nothing yet.

At first glance, no ID.

It's just I can see some valuable bodily fluids

- slipping away. - Yes.

Thanks, Gina.

Yes, I should start work or, yes, you can see the fluids?

No, I need a moment.

Okay.

Yes, no.

Hello.

I don't know who you are, but we'll

do our best to find out all that

and how you came to land here in Brokenwood.

And I like your ribbons.

- Nice touch. - Ribbons?

Really?

Yeah.

I had to say something nice.

Ray and Trudy?

Stay with Gina.

Gina, the bodily fluids are all yours.

Mike would never be so callous.

I mean, she bloody just fell out of the sky.

Another couple of inches, and I might not

be talking to you right now.

But you are.

So lucky us.

All I'm saying is if someone's

going to throw themselves off a building,

they need to be more considerate.

They could have killed someone.

There was a concert here tonight.

A gig, an '80s group.

So, like a tribute band?

No, an actual group from the '80s, Stolen Arrow.

Thank you.

That was, of course, "Gifted."

"Gifted!"

Thank you, Brokenwood.

A great audience.

A great crowd.

For a great band, on keyboards, Anton Ridgeley.

Guitar, Nick Sloan.

Bass, Elaine Young.

And on drums, why it's me old mate from the golden years,

it's Paul Black.

The new one, it's called "Animals."

Any idea how the deceased got onto the roof?

None.

Is there internal access to the roof?

No.

But there is a turret of some kind?

It's a bell tower.

Operational?

Well, if you give it a good tug,

you'll get a dong out of it.

But it's not like we've got a secret hoard of bell ringers

around the back.

Campanologists.

I never said they were gay.

No.

Campanologists is the official term for those who ring bells.

Wow, you learn something new every day.

The deceased, you ever seen her before?

Never.

She's not regular.

So no idea who she is?

Are you asking me to narc?

Or just remember.

Can you recall seeing her in the crowd?

Couldn't help but notice.

She was front and center.

This is a new one.

Oh, we love you, James.

It's called "Animals."

It's for you, Peggy.

Now that I think about it, her name might be Peggy.

Peggy?

Next thing I know, Peggy's falling out of the sky.

Poor love.

Ray, I need to ask you something.

There's a ladder leaning against the wall out there.

It's yours, I take it?

No.

What makes you say that?

It has Ray's ladder written on it.

Well, yes, it's... it's mine, but I didn't put it there.

Have you had any maintenance done around the place lately?

Well, Todd Taylor does a bit of handiwork

occasionally on an as and when basis.

But look, that ladder is usually locked

in the shed around the back.

There is no shed around the back.

All right.

But it doesn't have to be locked

away to have been burgled.

That's the law.

That is true.

So if someone came onto my land and commandeered

my clearly-labeled ladder, then climbed on the roof

and behaved like a kamikaze mosh pit lunatic,

that's on them.

Let's get fingerprints onto this.

Two of the usuals.

Thanks, Frodo.

With pleasure.

They're rock stars from a band called Stolen Arrow.

And she's the bass player.

Female bass players are so... you know.

- Good? - Hot.

They're playing another gig at the Croc tonight.

I'm so there.

I thought they were lame, you know?

Full of old dudes, but apparently a lot of them died.

So now they have new people, including a female...

Female bass player.

So hot.

You like your music.

Who cares about the music if they've got a...

Female bass player.

Got it.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

I could have made coffee.

Well, let's just say I had a word with health and safety.

What have they got to do with coffee?

Well, they feel I should drink more good quality coffee.

What's wrong with my coffee?

Well, no, I didn't say there was anything wrong.

Oh, Frodo's is the best in town.

You have to admit that.

Fair comment.

It's just as well I did.

I bumped into members of the band from last night.

It's not going to work.

Sorry to interrupt.

I'm DC Chalmers, Brokenwood CIB.

I understand you're members of Stolen Arrow?

Nick, guitar.

- And? - Elaine.

I play...

Let me guess.