American Dad!

When chimpanzees mate,

their orgasms sound remarkably like human orgasms.

Hear for yourself.

Okay.

- Move it! - We're taking over.

But the chimpanzees' orgasms...

Sound just like humans. Everybody knows!

This is Langley Dollar Listings!

And it's filmed here.

In Langley Heights, to be exact.

Very exclusive.

You would never be allowed up there, Steve.

Here are the Realtors!

Trad. Lame.

Clephanie. Lamer.

Vebastian. Nice guy, horrible Realtor.

- Trashelle... - Trashelle...

Who's she?

She's hands-down the best Realtor.

She has the coolest car...

Ghost Black Range Rover.

- ...the biggest heels... - 10-inchers.

...and the hottest boyfriend.

Tristan, a 19-year-old yoga model

who's converting to Christianity for her

even though he's never heard of it.

She's what I would be if I were a TV Realtor.

Tough, smart, a stone-cold closer.

But the reason she's the best is because

she's like me, dramatic!

No, she's the best because she's so smart.

She always gets the right buyers through the door.

Nuh-unh. It's the drama!

You're so stupid, you remind me of Clephanie.

I remind you of a bad bitch

that drives a tricked-out Kia Sonata?

Keep trying to insult me.

You're doing great.

Hyundai makes the Sonata.

Kia makes the Sorento.

Shut up, Steve, you're such a Vebastian!

Hey, Geric, what's up?

That's Geric. He runs the agency

and gives out all the listings.

Oh, Trashelle, I've got some big news!

I'm giving you the biggest listing

in Langley Dollar Listings history... Chateau Langley!

Oh, my God!

Chateau Langley is a 24-bedroom castle

that overlooks the amazing Langley Ravine

and hasn't been on the market in 780 years.

That's, like, before Columbus...

Shut up!

- I'm gonna go. - Get out of here!

Steve's terrible at watching TV.

Aquarium trip!

I'm only paying for the first three people!

Did I make it?

Barely. What's that?

Fancy pour-over coffees I made for us.

Sorry, Jeff, I'm not interested.

Because it was made by you.

I understand.

I'll buy that cup of coffee off ya.

I was on my way to the coffee shop!

This is amazing coffee!

- How much? - One money.

Here you go!

I would've paid way more.

There. You got a little dollar, Jeff.

- Happy? - No!

I'm gonna get a lot of little dollars!

'Cause I'm gonna start selling my coffee

to people walking by

on their way to the coffee shop right now!

Instead of going to the aquarium?

Yes. 'Cause that's how serious I am.

I'm willing to give up laughing at the sea otters for this.

Sorry, laughing with the sea otters.

Did we make the aquarium cut?

Nobody's going to the aquarium.

I guess we're doing a coffee shop this week.

Oh, no!

I got all dolled up to ask out that hot octopus.

You saw her on the news!

She picked two of the last seven presidents.

As everyone knows, I recently gave Trashelle

the Chateau Langley listing.

Boo!

But as everyone doesn't know,

Trashelle has gone missing!

All right, gang, the posters have been up

for a solid couple hours.

It is time for us to accept Trashelle is not coming back.

So let's all consider her dead.

That's why we're turning to you, loyal viewer!

Instead of seeking a new agent through professional avenues,

we're asking our viewers to audition!

I'm Memphis Stormfront, and look at all these idiots

standing in line, praying to be the newest Realtor

on the smash-hit show, Langley Dollar Listings.

482... Stormfront!

So long, loyal viewers.

I can finally admit I've always hated weather.

Even though I've been a Realtor before,

I stayed up watching all the Trashelle episodes,

so I could sound smart like her.

483... Francine!

- Francine, that's you. - Right!

I was so focused on being smart I forgot my name for a second.

I know how to get the right buyers through the door.

And how is that?

I actually... don't know.

I was just saying that.

No, that's fine.

The attitude is right.

Can you tell me what these images are?

Door, window, for-sale sign.

Thank you.

Send the next one in.

I'm Shebecca Escrow,

and I'll do anything to sell a house.

I'll have sex with all the clients.

I'll have sex with all the buyers.

And I'll have sex with all of you.

I had so much fun

make-believing I was a TV Realtor today.

And now to eat at the same Salad Bucket

the Realtors on the show eat at.

A lot of people don't like salads

'cause they're not filling enough.

That's why I always order mine all-garbanzo.

This bad boy's about 30 pounds.

Should keep me going right into nap time.

Gotta be honest, pretty sure I got the job today.

I had sex with Geric and the other judge.

And then to make sure the job was mine,

I also had sex with the cameraman

and the door handle on the way out.

Hello?

Yes!

Great! That was Geric.

I got the job!

They said they loved my personality,

and I was the only person to properly identify

the images of the door, window, and the for-sale sign.

Window.

There's your window!

I'm the new agent, Francine.

I'm like a lemur monkey... mostly business,

but I will throw my own shit at you if I have to.

My first listing is a Danish Modern

owned by a super-rich pet dentist.

So nice to meet you!

Gunther, my property manager, says you are the best!

The most important thing is the home

is made entirely of ancient Danish Alderwood

and must be kept at precisely 64.2% humidity at all times,

thus... the air-lock pressurization chamber.

There are many rules about who can enter the home,

which unfortunately I cannot go over with you now.

Grumpy Cat has a cavity,

and I must fly to Milan at once.

Isn't Grumpy Cat dead?

Okay, fine.

It's Grumpy Cat's mistress.

Now you know everything!

I trust Mr. Umlaut filled you in

on the home's unique attributes.

Roger?

Gunther is the name.

Yes, "Gunther."

Why don't you show me the house?

Before I show you the house,

you must learn the rules of entry.

Oh this one's important...

"no shoes, no shirts, no problems."

That's three separate rules.

Shoes scuff the floor.

Cotton shirts steal moisture.

And leave your problems at the door,

because this home does not respond well to negative energy.

Geric, I'm having real problems selling that Danish house.

- Love it! - What?

No, the business manager, Gunther,

is making it impossible

to even get buyers into the house.

Which makes for great television!

I didn't become the fourth richest man in Langley

by selling houses.

I made my fortune being a TV star.

That's where I know you from!

Look, you just keep fighting with cinnamon-bun-hair,

and I'll give you a second listing.

It's a sick mid-century bachelor pad that...

Another listing, eh?

And she wasn't even gonna tell me, eh?

When did I start saying "eh" so much, eh?

How many tuna sandwiches did I have today, eh?

Look at this fool, man.