28 Days

Oh, God, it's a fire!

Fire!

A jackhammer?

On Saturday? He should be castrated.

Saturday.

Oh, God. Oh, God, it's Saturday. Get up! Get up!

Get up, get up, get up!

My sister's gonna kill me.

Oh, my God, what did we do last night?

The usual.

Collected money for the poor little homeless children at the church bazaar.

I think the vicar must have spiked the kool-aid.

We are way late!

What am I gonna tell my sister?

Is this yours or mine?

- Oh, my God, how did that happen? - I haven't a clue.

There's my excuse. I'm late because my tits caught on fire.

Come on!

Find a cab! Taxi!

- Hey, cab! - Right there! Get him.

Can you go a little faster, please?

Fast and alive. Alive, all right?

The alive part is incredibly important in this case.

You all right, darling?

Oh, God, I could care less.

That's the whole point.

Right. To care less.

This is tasting like cherry Brandy because I haven't got her gift.

Thank God for bar cars.

You're late!

Jasper, this is...

A bridesmaid with makeup and a dress.

Really late. Like, 45 minutes.

She has absolutely no sense of humor, but she's really good at telling time.

I am so sorry.

There was a water main break and the train got stuck in rye.

An electrical thingy. And just, explosion...

Gwen.

You make it impossible to love you.

Shit!

May we present Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Topton?

Like one?

Did you think it was a pretty wedding? I did.

Wasn't it pretty?

Yeah, but no one wants pretty anymore from a wedding.

They want a scandal. They want to take home a story.

Try these.

This is a party. Let's have some fun with it, for God's sake.

Oh, my God!

What happened? —You——!

Possibly crank it up a little? Liven everything up.

There's a ladies' room right over there.

Settle down, buddy!

Oh, sorry.

Don't worry. I'll replace it.

I'll be right back.

Hey, lady! Hey, lady, what are you doing?

Cake store. Cake store. Cake store.

This is Helga. What city?

Yes, Bedford.

A cake store.

Lady, if I knew the name, I wouldn't have called you, okay?

Oh, God!

This is perfect.

All right, everybody. Now, circle up.

That's it.

Come on.

Together, we're better!

We're better together!

No drugs!

That judge totally screwed me.

Good morning!

I should've picked that rehab in the city.

People chant.

- They do what? - They chant.

They think I'm chanting, they have a whole 'nother thing coming.

It could be worse. Could be prison.

Oh, that's worse?

You never hear of being raped with a plunger in rehab.

Because they cover it up.

It's not funny!

Excuse me. Talking.

No cell phones.

Gwen C., I'm Betty. Follow me.

We carry our own bags here. This isn't the Sheraton.

Oh, glass. In case I slit my wrists. I get it.

An eyelash curler.

What'll I do with that? Stab myself? Curl my tongue to death?

While you're going through my stuff, let's see...

What Betty's got in her drawers.

Oh, my God. Betty has locked her drawers.

What? It's for my back pain.

These things will be returned to you when you check out.

Except for the Vickodin, which will be flushed.

Smile!

No calls, except during posted phone time and only for 10 minutes.

No fraternization. That's romance and/or sex between patients.

Oh, and we chant here. Don't be put off by it.

Some people prefer it to the Serenity prayer.

I'll be your friend

17! Help you carry on

for it won't be long

till I'm gonna need somebody...

Your room.

You're responsible for keeping it clean.

Andrea, this is Gwen.

Settle her in.

- Do you watch Santa Cruz? - Pardon me?

Santa Cruz. It's my soap.

They only let us watch TV at night, so I've missed the last two weeks.

Hey, an intellectual.

Like the stuff you did to get you in here was real brain food.

Parker house people, this is Gwen. Gwen, this is everybody.

Hello, Gwen.

I'm thinking booze.

Cocaine.

Painkillers.

- This is not a nice game. - Well?

Well, what?

What's your drug of choice?

Alcohol, cocaine, percodan, heroin, glue?

I have to pick one?

Your gateway drug. What you go for first.

I guess I drink.

Yes. Come to papa.

Hand them over. I know people, admit that.

Get your thumb out of that.

What's the matter?

Haven't you ever seen a trach scar before?

It's a tracheostomy. It's not a growth.

It's not a deformity. It's a scar. So you can stop staring at it.

Okay, good. Thank you.

She wasn't staring, Daniel.

No? And how would you know, faggot?

You're about as perceptive as Helen Keller.

When you think about it, Helen Keller was pretty perceptive.

Shut up!

Look at him walk away! Run away! Run away!

We were up in heaven now we're in the mud

we fell off the wagon you should have heard the thud

- I like your coat. - Thanks.

- Is that leather? - Yes.

- Not vinyl? - Nope.

- You believe in killing animals? - Yes.

- For clothing? - Yes.

So do I.

For 28 boring days

don't worry about Daniel.

He's just self-conscious about his neck because he did it to himself.

He had this thing where he'd pump his stomach so he wouldn't get a hangover.

I guess he knew how, because, you know, he's a doctor. Or was.

He lost his license after he killed that patient, but...

Anyway, I guess one night while he was scraping that tube to his stomach...

Somehow he screwed up and he couldn't breathe and he had to...

Poke a hole in his throat with a pen or something.

Jasper, see if you can dig up some Vicodin.

The gestapo found my first batch.

That here-but—not—here illusion will be...

Much easier to sustain with chemical help.

Love, Gwennie.

Good night.

Good night.

Chocolate. Heroin addict.

What are you, like, 12 or something?

Seventeen.

Loving this.

Good night.

Jeremiah was a bullfrog

Jeremiah was a bullfrog

was a good friend of mine

I never understood a single word he said

but I helped him drink his wine

and he always had some mighty fine wine

singing joy to the world

you girls are a lot of fun.

And that's the most important thing.

Because if you're not having fun...

What's the frigging point?!

Oh, God.

You can keep your drugs and your whiskey sours.

We got us a higher power!

Yay, God!

Don't forget tonight's lecture at 8:30:

"How many brain cells did I kill last night?"

Decaf.

There's no caffeine. It's mood-altering.

That was a nice moment. Where you going?

What do you mean? You gotta have cigarettes.

Sorry, but we're fresh out.

Those people are addicts. They need cigarettes like they need air.

I guess that explains it, then. Gum?

It wasn't a problem...

Till Emmett, he took up with that girl.

Those nights that he was out with her...

And I was home with the TV...

See, I figured we could see it through.

So when he said...

He was moving her in with us...

And that I could stay or leave...

I see now I should've left.