Succession

Okay. Yeah. Everything--

Everything seems nailed down for tomorrow.

How you feeling?

Why does everyone ask how I'm feeling?

I'm sellin'. My decision. I'm feeling great.

And yes, yes. Axe that chopper.

- They can fucking walk. - Right. Absolutely.

- Office? - Uh, ATN.

Oh.

Surprise visit?

Happy Christmas, you clock-watching fucks.

...but where they are, not to a significant degree.

Well, that may be true,

but NATO has a cultural weight...

So many olds.

Where are the hotties?

Yeah, I mean this needs the living shit kicked out of it.

A show about politics called Inside Baseball.

What? - Yeah. How fuckin' confusing is that?

They have that? Mm.

Connor.

"Have we left yet?" Eyeballs emoji. (CHUCKLES)

Fingers crossed emoji and helicopter emoji.

We're coming. This is unbelievable.

Our PGN is just gonna crush this.

Mm-hmm. - Not quite yours yet.

Business retreat, Telly. PGN brainstorm.

Sunday, Monday programming. Dookie.

Tuesday, Wednesday programming. Dookie.

Friday, Saturday programming. Massive stinky dog dookie.

I gotta say, the upside is huge if we just broaden out

and stop over-indexing to college professors.

Mm-hmm. - Right?

Sorry, I just can't seem to tear my eyes away

from the bald man talking about NATO.

- I have a boner-- - So, my floaty, kinda

semi-pitch would be hardcore international news

from global-global to hyperlocal.

Jess, would you watch that?

Uh-- uh, yeah-- uh, if it was on, totally.

Like, maybe a focus on Africa?

Every day, just what is happening in Africa?

The Maghreb. Sub-Saharan East, Sub-Saharan West.

I would watch that shit.

You would not watch that shit.

I would. No, I mean, that-- that sounds like

Homework: The Show.

No, the point is it's global reach. - (CHUCKLES)

- (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) It's a network that teaches you how to watch it.

Or, shove all your... Or?

- Oh. - ...foreign report melatonin news hour

- info dumps in the daytime... - Yeah.

Primetime, we go full Clockwork Orange, you know?

- Hey. (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

So, unfortunately, Gretchen Yung is conflicted out.

Oh!

Really? With Tom? He went with Gretchen?

Okay, uh, who's in-- who's in second position?

Crowley. - (SNIFFS)

Okay. (SIGHS) Uh, yeah, fine.

I contacted his office. He's also conflicted out.

Uh, and Kohlmayer, uh...

...and Bulloch and, uh, and Camden?

Yeah. Yeah. Conflicted out. It's weird.

Okay, great. I'll call you back.

Okay, so, have we tied up all five now?

- Yep. - And they're all the ones

- that Mr. Roy's office gave us? Yep.

Oh, God.

- (CELL PHONE RINGING) - Hey, buddy.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. So, uh, so Logan's in.

Logan's in?

What, upstairs? In the sales meeting?

- No, he's on the floor, Tom. He's on the floor?

Wait, explain to me exactly what he's doing

with his body and his face.

(SIGHS) I don't know.

He's just moseying. Terrifyingly moseying.

He's wearing sunglasses inside.

It looks like if... if Santa Claus was a hitman.

Okay. Okay, okay. Hold on. Hold steady. I'm coming in.

Okay, Sergio, halt the car. Halt the car.

Okay, cancel the rest of my afternoon.

- Hey. Hey, Tom.

So, all the top attorneys are conflicted out. Yeah?

Dad teach you that? It's a fucking nice move.

Wow, does he wanna marry you now?

Um, I'm not sure I know what you mean.

Oh, yeah, okay. So, you've met with or retained

every usable divorce lawyer in New York

just to fuck with me. Hmm?

I don't know, Shiv. I think maybe Sara made a mistake.

You think I don't recognize my own dad's playbook?

- Fuck you, Tom! Shiv,

I-- I did not intend for this to be aggressive,

but I've seen what your family can do

in these situations and I want it to be amicable.

I'm sure we can figure it out.

Yeah, okay.

You wanna be my dad's little bitch boy?

Why don't you deliver him a message, bitch boy?

Tell him to fuck off and stay out of my life.

Okay, so what's happening? What's happening?

Okay, so he's still just kinda walking around,

but with a slight sense that he might kill someone.

It's like Jaws.

If-- if everyone in Jaws worked for Jaws.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - Yeah.

- So, he did one big shout. - Right.

He does not like

the countdown-to-election chyrons,

he hates the new font, it's too small.

It's too ingratiating. It's a really bad vibe.

What-- what is this, do you think?

I don't know. Maybe he just wants to play your sex tape

on Late Night, Greg.

No, the future starts now, Greg.

You know, once-- once the board rubber-stamps,

and once the regulators nod the deal through,

three, four months, Waystar is gone.

This will be home.

So, he's gonna be here all the time? in person? Yeah. Yep. Yep.

Hanging around like the threat of nuclear war.

- Here we go. Go get him.

Hey, hey. Hey, sir, Mr. Boss Man.

- Uh-- - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

One email.

Fucking Stakhanovites in here.

- Please, don't exhaust yourself. - (CHUCKLES)

What do you think of the, uh, election refit?

Oh, yeah, pretty fucking penny. It's an aircraft hangar.

What's the air-con bill?

Well, yeah, Cyd really loves the sense of space.

It's certainly interesting.

Where is she?

Cyd? Oh, she doesn't tend to stay late

when it's opera season. Oh. Hey, Cyd.

Oh, boss. I didn't see you. I was busy.

But I can see that my social secretary's

- been looking after you. - Have you watched the tape?

Tom? - Hmm?

Kerry's tape. Have you watched it?

What do you think?

Of Kerry?

What do I think of her audition to be an anchor?

Yes.

Well, did you... What-- what do you think, Logan?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You go first.

Well, I think... (CLICKS TONGUE) ...I think I liked it.

- I mean, she's got something. - Oh, she really does.

You thinking of giving her a slot?

Because I-- I personally think

that-- that could be a very interesting idea.

- Right? I'm keeping out.

She's my assistant.

It would be very unprofessional of me to get involved.

Whatever you two geniuses think.

Now, I want to talk to them, a little speech.

Somewhere down here in the middle.

Man of the people.

Good evening, I'm Kerry Castellabate,

- and these are our top stories tonight. Doing great so far.

You look stupid.

Missouri State poli-- police-- Missouri State Police

- have issued an AMBER Alert... - Oh, my goodness.

...as two children are believed to have been abducted.

They were last seen outside the school gates

waiting for their mother to collect them.

And then sudden smile.

The police are appealing for anyone...

Must act natural to fool the humans.

- And a new medical study has found that... - (ROMAN LAUGHS)

She's doing the shit out of this news.

...can extend your life up to five years while three cups...

Man, Dad was a god. ...can reduce it by two. Who knows?

Maybe it's time to switch to tea.

But tomorrow, he's selling the empire

to a 4chan Swede

and dishing out jobs for blowies.

Shiv? - Hey.

Uh, Sandi, hi.

Uh, I hope you don't mind.

I was gonna try and set something,

but I thought I'd just call 'cause it's kind of urgent.

- Hope that's okay. - Um, uh,

yeah, no, of course. Um, what's up?

Is it about Connor's wedding?

Because that was such a regretful no.

Oh! (SCOFFS) No. No, no, no. This is completely different.

It's, uh, just about our chat and your pitch.

You know, I was just, well, thinking

maybe I was a little hasty.

Uh-huh! - Yeah.

And do your siblings feel the same or still no?

Well, no, I haven't had a chance

to talk to them about it yet, but I'm gonna bounce it around,

see if I can't persuade them, because, you know,

I agree there's a-- there's a lot of upside there

to get a little more money.

Well, I mean, obviously, I agree,