A Snow Globe Christmas

Honey, It's time to go. We'll go home and we'll open our presents.

No we have to wait.

The son of Santa so daddy will come home for Christmas.

Please don't promise her things she can't have.

Honey I told you. Daddy's on a business trip and he won't be home.

Actually I think he will.

Daddy!

But what about your business trip?

I told them they could wait.

Christmas is for family.

Cut!

Ok everybody that's a cut!

You're doing it again.

What?

Bond Villain.

How many times have I fired you today?

Mmm I stopped counting when I ran out of fingers.

Are we good?

Yeah it was alright.

It was alright. Thank you.

That's lunch.

Ok people we got it! That's lunch!

Eric.

How long have you been here?

I waved. You were kinda in the zone.

Penny who? what? why?...

You said the crew could have a gift exchange.

I gotta go.

No no no you gotta wait a minute.

A said anonymous. Fast. Discrete.

Old man Barnes lives for this.

- He's a distraction. - Look at that face!

Mr. Barnes I'm sorry but we're gonna have to cut this short.

What is that noise?

Where's it coming from? Hello?

Am I the only one that could hear that?

Look you asked me to come down to see you. So I came down. I see you...

Meg. It's Frank again.

Goodbye.

Hi. Umm Sal.

Hi! Meg.

How did you know my name?

That bohunk over there called you Meg.

You need to go.

Ok.

I'm sorry?

Can I help you?

My bell.

Oh yes. Right.

Wait.

Merry Christmas.

You too Mr. Barnes.

You too.

How did she know your name?

- Hey. - I'm gonna go.

Wait! No I thought you were gonna stay for dinner?

Your craft service guys have not even heard for paleo and you're not exactly-

We'll find you something to eat I'm -

- Yes. Yes. - How is this?

Yes! That is truly repulsive. It looks like grandmas old yarn. Where did you find it?

You've seen me knit.

Well done! Yes! taking one for the team.

Hey everyone! This right here is what I'm talking about.

Christmas is not for the elves.

Hurra!

Yeah. Ok.

Eric.

Honey.

Hold on.

Pooch got the hi-roller suite.

It's gonna be epic.

Sweetheart it's gonna be Christmas. You sure you want to go to Vegas for a bro-liday?

Says the head elf. Huh? Hurra!

Well?

Come on, I'll be home by Monday just in time for therapy.

Ok.

Meg?

Ummm Not now.

Now! Meg.

Hi Frank! Hello.

You're not answering your phone.

Ok. Frank listen to me.

The scene with the snow angels I can make it better. I promise I can.

You tell me every year you watch these films with your family.

You say they are the only thing you make that you actually do watch with them.

You are making me older by the minute.

No. That's just life doing that.

It's a figure of speech Meg.

Let me do this my way.

Ok please?

I might be a dysfunctional shipwreck of a human being but I know Christmas.

I can-No I will deliver the perfect Christmas movie.

Keep shooting.

Yes.

No!

I'm sorry?

No. Meg this is not ok.

Oh here we go.

Meg these people have families!

I have a family.

Well no one is making you stay Bob Cratchit. Would you like to leave?

That's what I thought. It is now 2:57, We are gonna come back in 15 minutes and keep shooting.

You shouldn't wear your hair like that.

Makes you look old.

I though I told you to leave.

I like it here.

Plus it reminds me of that.

That's what you're going for right?

You want people to feel like they are really right up in there?

Nose pressed up against the glass.

Life's like a snow globe. You gotta shake it up to see the snow.

Yoo hoo!

How did you get there?

Let me see it.

Come on. Give it a shake.

Look at that! It's so shiny.

It's glitter.

Hmm. That's not what you see.

Snow is falling down slowly.

Tiny perfect little town with tiny perfect little people.

It's everything you'll never have.

I don't need this.

Are you sure about that?

You gotta want it.

Really want it.

Ok.

Meg! Meg!

Meg? Meg?

Meg? Meg!

Meg!

Sweetie?

Honey?

Ah she's awake. Thank goodness.

What?

We were all so worried about you.

Where am I?

Now.

You young lady took quite a spill.

You need your rest. I want you to run along home now and have yourself a nice cup of hot coco.

And if you do that you will be right as rain in no time.

What is this?

Teddy must have dinged y pretty bad.

Wait? Ted?

From college?

We use to date.

Yeah babe and then we got married. I'm your husband.

I - no stop it. Stop doing that.

Uh what is this? Are we filming here?

Where's the crew?

Ok. Uh this is obviously an exterior scene.

How did we get here?

Last thing I remember...

Oh?

I think I tried to cancel Christmas.

Honey you may be a control freak but not even you can cancel Christmas.

Please stop calling me honey. I'm not your honey.

I'm sorry did you say married?

What?

To a lumber jack?

You're starting to scare the kids.

Kids?

Mom. Sorry. Dad told me not to pack it too tight.

Mom?

Yeah.

Ok. This is hilarious.

Crew prank right?

Trying to punish me by giving me "It's a wonderful life".

Complete with that corny modern really really photogenic family.

You guys are good! Let me see you. Wow! You even look like a real brother and sister.

Who's your agent?

Ok?

This is obviously all fake.

Um, this is actual snow. We don't have the money for actual snow.

Christmas is not for the elves!

Hoora?

It's an episode.

Penny! Where is Penny?

Is mom gonna be ok?

Yeah Teddy. She's gonna be fine.

Mia why don't you take your brother home?

I'll be there in a second.

Meg!

Thanks Doc!

Officer!

Office thank goodness you're here. I need to report a potential kidnapping.

This gentlemen right here is trying to take me against my will and I'm pretty sure-

What?

he drugged me because I have no idea where I am or who I am right now.

Baby no!

Yeah! He keeps calling baby and he thinks I'm his wife.

- And we are not married. - You are my wife!

I'm am not your wife.

Problem Sir?

Oh you?

I should have known.

Offir there is absolutely no problem ok?

We were having a snowball fight. My son dinged her in the head.

She has a mid case of amnesia. That's what the doctor said.

I got hit in the head.

Exactly! Yes! You got hit in the head.