Spice World

Well done, girls! Excellent performance.

What're you talking about?

You weren't even watching, Clifford.

- Yes, I was. - Don't lie. No, you weren't!

I sensed the vibes.

I have an excellent vibe sensor right here.

- Yeah, right. - He doesn't love us anymore!

Oh, yes, I do.

I love you like a wildebeest loves five lionesses

- chewing at his legs. - (ROARS)

Hello, I'm Piers Cuthbertson Smyth.

And today, I'm spending the first of five days

with the Spice Girls.

Elton!

Hello!

Good to see you.

- Great glasses, Elton. - Thank you very much.

Come on, girls, we've got to go. Sorry, Elton.

Bye!

- Bye! - Phew!

Any second now, the Spice Girls

will be stampeding down this corridor

in a frenzy of chaos and energy,

which of course has become their hallmark.

What, chickens? How many?

I thought you said they'd be coming down this way?

I never said that.

You want me to cut?

I think that would be wise.

Okay, don't worry, there won't be any fans out here.

- They're all round the front. - Okay.

- Girls, girls, it's Andy. - Not up the skirts, thank you.

What was that you said, Clifford?

- Bye! - Let's go. Come on.

Go, go, go. - Hands off my fluffy toys.

- Nobody come in my bit. - Don't touch my wardrobe.

All right, can we get changed, everyone?

We're gonna be there in 15 minutes.

Dennis, Albert Hall.

We're heavy and rolling.

Okay, horoscopes.

I don't believe star signs.

You see, you wouldn't, because you're an Aquarian.

Aquarians don't believe in anything.

No, I don't believe that either.

Oh, no! I can't find my boots.

I think I've lost them.

It's always the same. I never know what to wear.

Oh, it must be really hard for you, Victoria.

You know, trying to decide whether to wear the little Gucci dress,

the little Gucci dress,

or the little Gucci dress.

Exactly.

I know.

Why don't you wear the little Gucci dress?

That's a good idea. Thanks, Emma.

- Ah! There they are! - What?

My boots, Geri. You're wearing my boots.

Oh, yeah. I don't know how that happened.

Typical, typical Leo, that is. Isn't it?

Borrowing stuff without even asking me.

Now, that's Capricorn.

Oi, don't you be starting on Capricorns.

- That's it. You've had it. - All right. Have them back!

- No, I don't want them! Yeah!

Get off!

- Excuse me! - What?

What do you think of this one?

It's great. ALL: Yeah!

Now hear this.

There's a press conference coming up.

That means smiling at the cameras,

and answering a lot of dumb questions. That is all.

It's really is tremendously exciting.

We're breaking the news right now, right here.

Next Saturday, 8 o'clock, for the first time ever,

the Spice Girls are gonna perform live

- for the very first time at Albert Hall. Yay!

- Are you excited, girls? - Very excited.

We're working with a new band.

And it's gonna to be absolutely fantastic.

It's gonna be broadcast live throughout the whole world.

The whole world. How many countries are we talking about?

- Millions! - Or maybe even more.

Do you have a message for the multitude of fans you have out there?

Yes. (SPEAKING SPANISH)

Goes out to the people in France.

They're huge in Portugal.

I'd like to say something to all the people in Leeds.

Northerners!

I don't have the faintest idea what that means,

but it's gonna be great.

I'm excited. My mum's excited.

They are adorable.

You haven't even shaved for us today, have you, Jonathan?

- I think, I got what you want. - Would you just shut up and watch this?

These are the Spice Girls.

Yeah, I've seen them.

- I like the blond one. - No, no, no.

- Sporty. - Yeah, Sporty one's good.

This is what our movie should be about.

They're young, they're cute, they're hip, they're wacky.

Yeah, but can they act?

What, act?

Did anyone care if Marilyn Monroe could act?

All they cared was she in focus.

I just got an idea, and you're gonna love it.

I can see it very clearly. It's the Spice Girls.

There's five of them.

- And they're singers. - I love it.

We pitch this afternoon.

- Yes, Chief? How are the girls, Clifford?

Ready for show time on Saturday?

Just going to rehearsals. They're hot, Chief.

They've got fire in their eyes,

hunger in their bellies and great big shoes on their feet.

I'm telling you, Chief, they're raring to go.

Mmm. Well, remember that now is the dangerous time.

They've had a lot of success very quickly.

So get ready for the backlash.

When the speeding melon hits the wall,

it is Christmas for the crows.

Of course, it is.

Do you want me to go after the paparazzi,

Chief? I could start

kicking arses, if you like.

Stir things up a bit.

There's no need for any stirring.

Put a couple of cats among a few pigeons.

Leave the pigeons alone.

Watch the feathers fly.

- (MOUTHING) Keep it down. - Get some blood on the walls!

No!

Sorry, Chief. Just an idea.

There will be time for that soon enough.

Remember,

the drummer who is without sticks, has no back beat.

Absolutely.

Right, puss?

What did he say?

I haven't a clue.

But I know that he's right.

Drummer? Drummer.

One, two.

One, two, three, four.