Barry

Howdy!

Here we go.

Understand our, uh, our sons got into a bit of a fight.

Yeah, sure did.

I'm sorry I hit you.

How do you not know "Call of Duty"?

Gotta admit, it's kinda weird he never heard of "Call of Duty."

I mean, game's been around for years.

There's, like, 15 versions of it.

Yeah, well, uh, we don't, uh,

we don't play video games at our house.

But that's okay if y'all do.

That's weird.

Yeah, why don't you, uh, tell him the thing we talked about?

Go on.

I hope...

I hope we can be together next time in harmony.

Well, uh, we'll look into that. Come on, pal.

Barry: Huh?

John: I wish Travis was nice to me after I apologized.

Barry: Well, you can't control other people, bud.

We can only control ourselves.

John: The more I think about it, the more I wanna punch him again.

Barry: Yeah, that's called insecurity.

You keep practicing what you just did over there,

and you'll grow.

You'll be a better person for it.

But even his dad wasn't nice.

I picked up on that.

But you didn't see me get mad, did you?

No.

I know how you feel, buddy.

You know, your dad used to get mad. A lot.

But, uh, eventually, I was able to control those feelings,

and then I had you, and I changed.

I'm really proud of you.

It's a hard thing that you did.

You messed up, but you took responsibility for it.

It's the right way to live.

Barry: Oh, I don't think we have time for that.

John: I think I can do it.

Barry: Let's try it.

Barry: Here we go. Okay, you ready?

Barry: Let Dad do that. Let Dad do that.

- Dad'll do it. - John: Okay.

Dad's gonna do it. Okay? Here we go.

Barry: No. Pick it up. Pick it up.

Host: His face is the penny,

as well as the $5 bill.

Lincoln was born February 12th, 1809, in Kentucky.

His family was very poor and lived

in a one-room log cabin.

Later, when Lincoln was 9 years old,

his mother suddenly died.

Stupid bull got up there and got his horn stuck in my bumper.

About pulled it off.

So now, I gotta replace that, I gotta replace the...

Here y'all go. Got your breakfast right here.

- Thank you, Miss Emily. - Now, who needs a warm-up?

I'll take one.

Kyle? How you doin' this morning?

- You enjoying a short stack? - I sure am, Miss Ginny.

Oh...

I'm gonna need a fucking Xanny.

Oh! Mm!

Oh, hey. Did I tell you?

- Amber made cheer squad. - Oh, hey, that's so great.

- You must be so proud. - Oh, yeah. We're havin' a big shindig to celebrate.

You should come. We're gonna fry a turkey.

Oh, you know, I'd love to, but...

- we got Clark's mom, so... - Oh, well, bring 'em all.

Yeah, I know, but she's, um...

She's hooked up to all them machines,

and I'm afraid to...

- unplug 'em. - Oh, that's fuckin' stressful.

Yep.

Shit's real stressful.

Uh...

Bevel told me he jerks off to you.

Hey, Emily.

What are you doin' right now?

Cashing out.

That's cool.

That's really fuckin' cool.

Cool.

Barry: And apparently, he was a lawyer

before he became the president. Did you know that?

Sally: I knew that, yeah.

Barry: I think it's a good thing for John to see that stuff.

You know, that, I don't know, despite his circumstances,

he could be a lawyer.

Sally: Yeah, no, totally.

I think it's great he's learning about all that now. I mean,

I don't think I learned about George Washington or Abe Lincoln

till I was much older, so...

Barry: Yeah, totally.

What else did you guys learn about?

Barry: You mean, what else did I teach him?

Uh-huh.

Barry: Oh, just basic math.

You know, I wanna get into long division...

math stuff, two plus two.

Things that, basically, you know, what we could try to do

is come up with stuff with, like, division,

things like that. You know, that's what I'm hoping...

Hey, what do you guys want for dinner?

Barry: You know what I like about Old Abe?

And, uh, it's actually something I relate to

which is he had this beautiful combination of, um...

What was it? Pragmatism, optimism, and compromise.

Absolutely. I see that.

No, what you said. Um...

- Pragmatism, optimism, and compromise. - And compromise. Yeah.

'Cause I-I think that's the building blocks

of anyone worth his salt. I really do.

And he's now on a penny.

No, he's a real success story,

that Abe Lincoln,

'cause he worked hard, and now he's on a penny.

And a lot of pennies can buy you socks...

um...

shoelaces. You use those.

I've seen you. Um...

hairpins...

- He's an intricate part of our life, John. - Mm-hmm.

Barry: How's your food, John?

Pretty good, right? Chicken pot pie?

Barry: You gotta stop drinking at work.

Sally: I don't drink at work.

Barry: Sally, you came home drunk.

Sally: I know, but I didn't drink at work.

Barry: Okay, but it's gotta stop.

- Sally: You drink beer. - Barry: I'm throwing the wine away.

- Sally: You drink beer. - Barry: Yeah, I drink beer, and I know when to stop.

Look, you're setting a terrible example for our son.

- You understand? - Sally: I'll stop when you stop.

Barry: I'm not horse trading with you, okay?

Now, let's... let's just try to unwind with no drinks.

Please?

Please?

Sally, don't answer me with a look.

Vlogger: H ey, guys. Today, I'm gonna tell you

all the messed-up shit Abraham Lincoln did

that you'll never find in history books.

Number six on today's countdown of "Heroes Exposed"

is old Honest Abe.

Actress: I love Tom, and I think I'm ready to get married.

Natalie: Oh, boy.

Marriage is like a...

package of jelly beans.

At first, it's fantastic.

Strawberry. Watermelon. Grape?

And then one day, you get black licorice,

and you think to yourself,

why did I get these jelly beans?

But, Mom, what if I love black licorice?

Honey, nobody likes black licorice.

Minister: The more you focus on your pain,

the more you focus on your pity,

the bigger it gets,

and the more you doubt God.

In moments like this,

I think of Daniel in the lion's den.

If Daniel were to focus on those lions, how would he sleep?

He wouldn't!

He'd be scared to death, waitin' to be eaten alive!

Now, how did he survive?

He survived because he focused not on the lions,

but God.

See, you can't focus on the pain, the pity, the fear.

You focus on what made those lions. God.

God will deliver us.

God acts on behalf of those who wait for him.

God acts on behalf of those...

who wait for Him.

Peace be with you.

Sally/Barry: And also with you.

Now, give thanks.

And may you go in love and peace.

- Peace be with you. - Peace be with you.

Buddy. Peace be with you, pal.

Look at everything God's given us, John.

It's beautiful.

We gotta honor it.

- You know what I mean? - John: Mm-hmm.

Barry: Gotta keep everything on God's land safe.

Everything from the ants to the giant trees.

- John: There's giant trees? - Barry: Oh, yeah. It's nuts.

You know, you gotta honor humans.

You gotta honor Dad. Dad's gotta honor you.

- John: What about Mom? - Barry: Mom. Sure.

Gotta honor Mom.

- John: She cries a lot. - Barry: Oh, yes. Yes, she does.

But, you know what? Like I've said...

there's happy cry, and then there's sad cry

and then there's, uh... Well, there's Mom cry,

and that can be very loud and scary.

I feel like I have a pretty good way of talking her down.

As long as I'm calm,

and I'm saying, you know,