Rick and Morty

I gotta tell you, Rick. It's pretty great...

to be in this spaceship, just the two of us, you know?

Just cruising around, Rick and Morty style.

I agree, Morty.

It's nice to get back to the basics

after a pretty intense, mixed-bag of a year.

- Ohh! - Relax.

That's what windshields are for.

I didn't know that there were bugs out in space.

Well, w-what did you think, Morty?

Life just developed on Earth by itself?

Here, let me take care of this.

Geez, Rick, that's disgusting. I don't wanna look at that.

Yeah, guess I'm out of fluid.

L-Let me find a place to stop.

Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet,

or are you gonna freak out and start worshipping us?

The general store ought to have what you need.

Thanks.

Of course, you'll be wanting to be gone from here by sundown.

Yeah, sure thing. Wait a minute. What? Why?

Sundown is when the festival begins.

The festival?

Ooh, well, for millennia,

our society has been free of crime and war,

- Living in perfect peace. - Oh, I know what this is!

You've been able to sustain world peace

because you have one night a year where you all run around

robbing and murdering each other without consequence.

- That's right. - What?!

It's like "The Purge," Morty. That movie "The Purge"?

Oh, have you been here before?

No, no, but I've been to a few planets with the same gimmick.

You know, sometimes it's called the Cleansing or the Red Time.

There was this one world that called it just Murder Night.

I-It's a purge planet.

They're peaceful, and then, you know, they just purge.

- T-That's horrible! - Yeah.

You want to check it out?

So, what do you do during the festival?

You lock yourself in, or you go out and do some stuff?

Oh, I do some pretty bad stuff.

Oh, I bet you do, old timer.

Gee-- Rick, come on. The sun is setting.

W-We got to get out of here.

All right, well, w-what do I owe you for the wiper fluid?

It's on the house. Oh, and, uh,

why -- Why don't you have some candy bars, as well?

Oh, no way. That's really nice of you.

I'm a nice guy... for now.

Ohh, I don't doubt it.

- Rick! - Yeah, yeah.

Hey, have a good festival, old timer.

I intend to.

Rick, unlock it!

Just a second, Morty.

Oh, look at that sunset.

Stop screwing around.

There we go. Much better. Now we can see.

Great.

Hey, you know what, Morty?

Why don't we christen our squeaky-clean windshield here

by watching a little of this purge through it?

What?! No! What is your problem?!

Morty, grow up. If you don't want to watch,

don't watch, but, you know, it's my car.

Also, if you tell your mom about this,

- I'll purge you. - You're the worst.

This planet is the worst. How can you be into this?

You know, people are gonna kill each other.

So, what, y-y-you trying to sit here and tell me that

I-if -- if there's a video online

with someone getting decapitated,

- You don't click on it? - No!

Why -- Why would I do that? You do that?

I don't, because it would bore me.

I see shit like that for breakfast, Morty.

But if you don't do it, I say it's because

you're afraid of your own primal instincts.

So you stuff them down and --

Oh, oh! Shh. Shh. It's starting.

- Oh-Ho-Ho! Here we go. - I'm not watching.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, your medal's in the mail.

- I'm gonna get a closer look. - Oh, okay, sure.

And then someone's gonna throw a rock

and hit the car and then we're gonna crash

and we're gonna be stuck down there

and it's gonna be what we deserve.

Yawn.

Whoa!

Whoa, they are purging the fuck out of each other.

Oh, my god!

Oh shit!

That was -- Okay, yeah. T-That was gross.

Wow. Man, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach

on this one, Morty. Ugh.

My appetite for purge-spectating got f-illed pretty quick.

Oh, god.

Get away from me!

No! No! Help!

Somebody help me! Aah!

All right, Morty. L-Let's get out of here.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. W-We have to go down there.

What? Why?

That poor girl. W-We have to save her.

Uh, Morty, in space, we have something we call

the non-interference policy. We got the wiper fluid.

We watched them kill each other. We're leaving.

Help me save that girl, or I'm telling mom you brought me here.

- You little turd. -

Please! Leave me alone!

Leave you alone? During a purge?

I don't think so, baby.

It's okay. We're not gonna hurt you.

My name is Morty. This is my grandpa.

- We're tourists. - Not anymore.

- Aah! - Aah!

Oh, my god. This is fucking awesome!

Morty, this is really cool.

Hey, y-you want to help me out here and kill some people?

It's fun. We're totally justified...

because we're saving a little girl.

I mean, w-w-we're both free and clear to murder these people.

- Are you okay? - Yes.

I have to find somewhere to hide.

Well, you can hide with us. Rick?

- Yeah? - Do you think we could take --

- W-What's your name? - Arthrisha.

Could we take Arthrisha up in the ship

and, you know, just wait out the purge?

Oh, Morty, how can I refuse

after all you've done to blackmail me?

Your vehicle -- Is it from the gods?

- No. - Yes.

So, uh, you know, when the purge started,

did people get into it right away,

or were they like, "Wait, what?

This is gonna stop crime how, exactly?"

Yeah, it took some time for people to accept it.

Yeah, I bet. I bet.

Yeah, it's kind of like cellphones, you know?

At first, everyone was like,

"look at those douchebags purging."

And then the next thing you know,

they're like, "it's just so convenient."

Geez, you working on your tight five

for the comedy store, Morty?

Whatcha doing?

Watching some TV, playing on your phone?

- Is that a real question? - Just making conversation.

Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with?

My choice is to say nothing, be sarcastic,

or bark "yes" like a trained animal.

It's not a conversation.

You're holding me verbally hostage.

Okay, ass-face. I'll go in the kitchen.

- Hey, Dad. - Yeah?

Whatcha doing? Going into the kitchen?

Okay.

- Yeah, you like that? - Screw you.

So, uh, do most people wear masks when they purge?

I-I don't want to answer any more purge questions.

All right, hey, hey, that's cool.

I can roll with that.

- My nana! - Huh?

My nana! We have to save her!

You just now remembered your nana exists.

I-I was traumatized.

Haven't you been through like 15 purges?

I mean, some as a child?

Will somebody just help me get her?

Fine, whatever. Morty, stay.

Oh, god. Oh, crap. Oh, crap!

- Get out! Get out! - Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Get the fuck out of the flying machine!

Oh, my god! O-Okay! Okay!

- Back up, asshole. -

- Back up. - Ohh.

- Back the fuck up! - Aah!

For what it's worth, I'm sorry,

but that's not really worth anything tonight, is it?

Y-You can't leave us here. You're killing us!

You hear me? Come back.

Y-You got to come back. Change your mind.

Oh, geez.

Morty! Aah! Fucking Amish bitch shot me!

She tried to purge me, Morty.

You let your wiener do the walking, and now I'm dead.

- Rick, she took the car! - You fucking kidding me, Morty?!

She took my car and the gun.

We're like the rest of these assholes now.

W-W-We're gonna get purged, Morty.

Help me up.

Oh, geez, geez! Wait a minute, Rick.

Why don't we just use your portal gun?

It's in the car, dip-ass.

Oh, god, it hurts.

She got me right in the goddamn liver, Morty.

It's the hardest-working liver in the galaxy, Morty,

and now it has a hole in it. I hope it was worth it.