Bicentennial Man

- Nice place, huh? - I've seen better.

Everybody downstairs!

- Good afternoon. - Afternoon, sir. Where do you want this thing?

Just through there, thank you. Come on, you guys. I've got a surprise for you!

- Want me to place him right over here, sir? - Yup, just over there.

H-Here's a place. Here. Yeah, okay. Move it over here.

- There ya go. Nice and easy. - That's right.

Easy. Lift it up.

Sweetie, come away from it, please.

- W-What is it, Daddy? - Wait, wait, wait.

Wow.

Wow.

Oh, my.

Thank you, sir. Enjoy your NDR.

- -

NorthAm Robotics household model NDR-114,

serial number 583625.

- Hello. - Hello.

Are you one's family?

Well, um, I guess so.

It's scary.

It's not scary. It's stupid.

- I doubt that. - Jenny Harrison's family's got one,

- I doubt that. - Jenny Harrison's family's got one,

- so does Kate McAllister... they're all the same. - What is it?

- It's an android. - What's an "Andrew"?

Will that be one's name?

Well, why not? It sounds good.

- Hello, Andrew. - Hello, sir.

Would you care to hear the three laws of robotics?

- It's said to be a most entertaining presentation. - Okay. Sure.

- Will you step back, sir, to maximize presentation? - Right.

First law of robotics: A robot may not injure a human being,

or, through inaction, cause a human being to come to harm.

Second law:

A robot must obey all human orders,

except where those orders come in conflict with the first law.

Third law: A robot must protect itself,

so long as doing so does not conflict with the first two laws.

Andrew, don't ever do that again.

Of course not, sir. It is a one-time only.

There is another option that one is obligated to point out, sir:

You may have one with or without personality.

- Would you care to see a demo of the personality chip? - Uh, no, no, thank you.

- We'll stick with what we've got. - A wise choice, sir, if one may say so.

Well, you'll be staying down here. Got everything you need?

- One only requires access to a power outlet. - Good.

Right. Well, um, good night, Andrew.

It certainly is, sir.

No. No, Andrew,

The correct response to "good night" is "good night."

- Good night. - Yes.

- You just said "yes." - Yes?

But the correct response to "good night" is "good night."

- Good night, Andrew. - Good night, sir.

- Good night, Andrew. - Good night, sir.

- You only need to say it once. - Or one would be saying it forever, sir,

in an infinite verbal loop.

Exactly.

- Thank you, sir. - Good.

Night.

Sorry, sir.

Honey, I don't want it... following me around the house all day.

Can't-Can't you turn it off or something, please?

Just give him a job. It'll be okay.

- Well... Seat belts! - Seat belts!

Good morning, Mr. Martin. Today's temperature will be in the high 70s.

Bye, Mom!

- Have a good day, sweethearts. - Have a good day, sweethearts.

- Mmm. Andrew, this is very good. - Thank you, sir.

- Don't you think? - I think it sucks.

"Sucks"? How? Chickens do not have lips.

She's being rude. You mind your manners, young lady, please.

- We're fine, Andrew. - Indeed you are, sir.

The kitchen.

It's fine too, sir.

No. Go to the kitchen now.

Hello.

Come on.

Maybe it's a big bluff.

Just a pretty face.

Check.

Oh, Andrew, could you come up?

Oh, Andrew, could you come up?

- Should I... - No. It'll be fine.

- Yes, miss? - Andrew, would you please open the window?

One is glad to be of service.

A lovely breeze.

Now jump.

No,

out the window.

- Did you hear something? - Was that an earthquake?

Sorry for the inconvenience. May one re-re-re-enter...

- er-er? - What happened, Andrew?

For the sake of family harmony,

one is programmed not to tell.

- - Andrew? Andrew!

Yeah?

Amanda, Grace, downstairs right away.

- Come in, Andrew. - Thank you, si-i-i-r.

Andrew's not a person, he's a form of property.

One is not a per-r-r-r-r-r-r-

son.

But property is also important.

So from now on, as a matter of principle,

in this family Andrew will be treated as if he were a person.

Which means there will be no more attempts to break him.

Break him?

Your sister tried to kill Andrew.

You too?

- Shh. - Sorry.

Come on. Everyone up to bed.

- Will you be all right, Andrew? - One is capable of self-mai-ai-aintenance, sir.

Good.

- Good night, Andrew. - Good night, Andrew.

Guh, guh, guh... G-Good night.

Good night, Andrew. Good... night.

Miss, one has been given specific orders for your safety,

and that is an unsafe area.

Now, come down.

Okay.

Thank you.

"Well, I think it's gonna be sunny tonight."

"Me too."

"So do I."

He's my favorite.

Pretty.

Would you like to hold him?

That was my favorite.

They don't even make him anymore.

- Can it be repaired, Little Miss? - No, it can't!

- You're screwed. - I hate you!

Get away from me.

- Can we fix him? - No. Look at him... he's in a million pieces!

- - I'm sorry. There's nothing you can do.

Put the rest of them away.

Wow.

- Andrew! - Yes, Little Miss?

This is the best present I ever got.

One is glad to be of service.

Would you please come with me?

Does this involve a window?

No.

You can sit here.

His name is Woofy,

and from now on... he's yours.

- Woofy. - Uh-huh.

Because sometimes he barks,

once he gets to know you.

Oh.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

I have to go to sleep now, Andrew.

- Yes. - Yeah. Can you, kinda...

Of course.

- Good night, sweetheart. - Good night, Andrew.

- Little Miss? - Sure. Thanks.

Miss?

- After you. - Well, thank you.

You're welcome.

Andrew, did you really make this?

Yes, sir.

A robot cannot tell a lie, Andrew.

That is not entirely correct, sir.

One could lie, if one were ordered to lie,

or if it were necessary to tell some untruth in order to keep a human being from harm,

- or if one's own safety were in jeopardy... Sir? - Andrew.

One did indeed carve that for Little Miss.

- And the design... you're responsible for that? - Yes, sir.

- What did you copy it from? - Copy it, ma'am?

Well, I mean, you didn't just get it out of thin air.

You got it out of some book, right, or used the computer to plot it out?

One did nothing more than study the raw material for a time...

until one came to understand how best to carve it into a shape...

that would appeal to Little Miss's love of tiny mammals.

Yes, yes. Please come in.

I am so glad you called. Mansky, Dennis Mansky.

Richard Mark.

And an NDR-114.

Now, I got your message, but what exactly is it doing?

Well, what interests me is he shows a number of characteristics...

like creativity, curiosity, friendship...

that, frankly, have taken us by surprise.

Mm-hmm.

- Andrew... - Yes, Dennis?

Social as well.

Now I'd like to show you something if I may.

Now, Andrew carved these.

These are original works of art,

and last night Andrew said,

- "I enjoy making them." - "Enjoy."

- Yes. - Should one not use that word?

No, no. It's fine, Andrew. See what I mean?

It's unusual, surely, to hear a robot talk about enjoying something.