Kho Gaye Hum Kahan (खो गए हम कहाँ)

You never know people.

The people closest to you will surprise you the most.

I thought it'd be impossible to explain the concept

of a "situationship" to my dad.

I told him that basically,

you hook up with each other, eat together,

Netflix and chill and that's it.

You don't share your emotions or real feelings.

And my dad was like,

"Son, I have done all that with your mother."

"It's called arranged marriage."

I was like, okay!

You never know people.

I have a childhood friend.

We were at boarding school together. We shared dreams.

And today, guys, he's sitting in the audience with you.

And since I've been on the stage,

he's been on his phone.

Bro, you had one fucking job!

Sit here and laugh loudly,

so that I'd win this open mic.

Go, Imaad!

By the way, Neil is neither in a relationship or situationship.

And I wonder why.

I mean, he's a gym trainer.

5'5'' tall. He lives with his parents.

What could be wrong?

There's my other childhood friend.

Ahana. She's also my flatmate.

We aren't in a situation-ship. We're in a space-ship.

We give each other a lot of space.

She stays in her room, I in mine.

I have my girlfriends and she has Rohan.

Look at them, guys. They're so adorable, so cute!

Stop.

They've been dating for two years.

Three!

Three years. I'm worried they'll soon get married.

But you know, Ahana,

I'm not ready for you to leave this space-ship.

So, Rohan, tell you what. Move in with us after marriage.

- Yeah. - Done!

And, guys, I hear Rohan cooks very well.

He's well-organized.

And it's time we get a full-time house help.

Shut up, Imaad!

Jokes apart, we'll call him Junior.

And it has nothing to do with the pictures you sent Ahana last night.

Imaad!

All we've got to say is this

We'll live the way we want to live

There's nothing

that can bring us down

We'll take the path our hearts have found

People go, people stay

Let it happen anyway

These days are new and nights are young

Let new songs be sung

Let it happen anyway

We have all the happiness we'll ever need

We're masters of our destiny

What can stop us now?

People go, people stay

Let it happen anyway

These days are new and nights are young

Let new songs be sung

If you feel

Your lover drift away

Just follow

What your heart will say

People go, people stay

Let it happen anyway

These days are new and nights are young

Let new tales be told, new songs be sung

People go, people stay Let it happen anyway

These days are new and nights are young

Happy New Year!

Let new tales be told, new songs be sung

Good morning.

Hey, you've left? Why didn't you wake me up?

You looked so peaceful. I didn't have the heart.

How sweet! Call me later?

Sure. Bye.

See you.

I need to be on my own for some time.

- Tell me the truth. - There's no one else.

Then what happened? I don't understand!

Ahana, I told you, I need some clarity in my life.

- I don't know what I'm doing. - What are you doing?

I must focus on my career.

I need some space. That's all.

Are you an astronaut? Need space for your career?

You work in your dad's firm.

Please, Rohan, I know you wanna hook up with other girls.

I just... I'm done. I can't...

- Can't do what? What, Rohan? - I just can't.

- Huh? - Nothing.

Nothing ever happens. Maybe that's the problem!

Is this about sex? We can work on it.

That's another story.

I spoke about marriage. It freaked you out.

- There's no rush. - I'm not freaking out.

I just need a break.

For how long? A month? Three months?

I don't know!

What do I tell my parents?

- I don't know. - What do you know?

Is the house on fire?

What?

- Why was Rohan rushing out? - Shut up!

What's happened now?

He wants a break.

- From when? - From now.

Don't worry, he'll be back.

And if he doesn't, there's always arranged marriage.

How was your date?

Cute. Journalist.

Cute? Seeing her again?

You've got issues, bro.

Don't tell Neil.

He doesn't like Rohan. When we get back, it'll be awkward.

Okay.

Morning, Neil.

- Baby, your breakfast is ready. - Thanks, Mama.

And your parcel came yesterday.

Thank you.

- How was Mass? - It was fine.

Protein got over?

Didn't you just order some?

Neil, 8,000?

- Who asked you to check the bill? - Someone has to.

Every day 12 egg whites, salmon. Isn't that enough protein for you?

So I paid for it. I can pay for everything else too if you want.

Can we please have our breakfast in peace?

All I want is for you to save your money.

And 20 pairs of shoes? Why do you have it?

I need proper sneakers.

Your generation doesn't know the difference between need and want.

T-shirts and shorts!

Only I know how hard I work to run this house.

"I don't know what I've done to upset you."

"Have I done anything at all?"

"This isn't the first time we've argued, or the last."

"So can you please just tell me why you want a break?"

"Just don't say you're bored of me. Or you're looking for someone new."

"I don't understand what you want."

"What are you looking for?"

"What we have is precious, Rohan."

"I don't know when we stopped communicating."

"Please call me. I'll be waiting."

Hold my hand because I'm taking you with me to Lalaland.

I'm Lala, but of course you know that.

And today I've brought you all to sunny, gorgeous Maldives!

To celebrate you guys!

All one million of you.

So let's dance, shake a hip.

Run on the sand, take a dip in the pool.

'Cause life is la-la-la!

At the beautiful Maldives sea villa.

Why does she deserve a free vacation?

She has a million followers, bro.

Wear a bikini and the boys will follow.

Just shut up, man.

She's an influencer.

Who's influenced by this inflatable horsey?

It works, dude. People don't know it's all sponsored.

- Hotels, trips, right? - Exactly.

- She's a marketing genius. - What?

Looks like the next Neil Pereira rom-com is coming in a theatre near you.

C'mon, guys, grow up. She's my client.

Client? You went to the Maldives with her?

Yeah, so?

To carry her bags?

To train her.

- To train her! - Train her.

- Why didn't you post any selfies with her? - She's just a client, yeah?

Do I need to post every minute of my life?

- This is a little shady. - Very shady.

Okay, fine.

- Fine? What's that? - Fine?

- Fine. - Fine what?

Fine what?

- It's more than that. - I knew it!

Since when?

It's been a few months.

You've hid it for months?

- She doesn't want people to know. - So are we just "people"?

Bro, her followers must think she's single. Attainable.

- We're not her followers. - You're still not?

- No! - We're your friends.

So behave like friends. Just give me some privacy.

- Imaad, he wants privacy. - Privacy.

- We'll give him privacy. - You piece of shit!

You want privacy? When are we gonna meet her?

You want privacy, do you?

Sorry.

Seriously, bro, this AI shit could end careers.

Yours maybe. Mine hasn't started.

It'll happen, man. You'll be fine.

You're the man. You're good.