Boomerang

yeah, this is a story of famous dogs.

For the dog that chases its tail will be dizzy.

Dog!

Hi, marcus. Hey, you.

Yo, I left something on your desk for you. Oh, I got it.

Yo, man! Yo, marcus, man, when are we gonna hang out?

We gonna hang out soon. Slow down with that thing, bony.

Good morning, ladies. hi, marcus.

So I'm there, right? I'm like this.

Hey, what's up? Yo, what's up?

I'll see y'all at lunch. Peace. Okay.

Good morning.

Hey, stranger. Nice to see you here.

Good morning. Good morning, cuteness.

Hi, marcus. Hey, hey, hey, how're you doin'?

What's up? Hey, mornin'. Mornin'. Good mornin'. Good morning.

Good morning. Morning.

Hey, you. Hello.

Good morning, noreen. Good morning, marcus.

Hey, do me a favor and send a single long-stemmed rose to carrie, tracy,

Miranda, cassandra, alegra, shirrel and mai-lai. With the usual card?

Yeah. "thinking only of you." right.

Oh, you have a meeting with lady eloise tomorrow at 9:00.

Cool. Nelson's waiting for you.

Uh-huh. And anita called.

I knew I forgot something. Will you get her on the phone? Sure.

Nelson. Hello, marcus.

I can't wait to show you this. I've recut the kissable spot.

Oh, you recut it. But is it sexy?

Is it sexy? Ha-ha-ha! It is sex-sational.

- I like it. - Good.

I like the orange, and I like the ice cream. Good. All right.

You gotta get rid of the cherries and lose the banana.

Cherry and banana? But that's a little buñuel, a little dali, a little... you know.

No, that's a little too overt, you know? We should go a little more subtle.

I think some women might get offended. All right.

But I dug it. I dug it. Don't make that "he didn't dig it" face.

I dug it. Just got a little nasty, like you always do.

All right. Okay.

All right. The nasty nelson. That's me.

At least there wasn't no sausages in this one.

yeah?

anita on line one. Great.

Hey, you. Now, don't be mad...

Can I explain to you what happened? Have you been watching the news?

Oh, then you haven't been watching the news.

The big accident in midtown, where the cabs busted into the other cab...

And knocked it into the bus and the water main busted.

I was in that. You haven't seen? It's on the news right now.

Oh, just went off. Channel four, just went off. Yeah, but I was...

No, I'm cool. I'm all right, yeah.

My neck's a little stiff, that's all.

no, actually, a massage sounds kind of fly.

Yeah, I'm all with that. Oh, that too.

Can I call you next week? Cool. Later.

What's next? Casting for the body lotion spot.

Uh, tell the fellas I might be a little late for lunch today.

Yo, man, I saw somethin' on cable last night. Freaked me.

There was this woman, right? Baby had bo-dy.

She was lyin' there, totally naked, right?

You could see everything. But she had a dick, man.

Fucked me up!

It was a-a 976 number for hermaphrodites...

You talkin' about 976-dick, "chicks with dicks"?

- Ewww! -

How could you put something like that in your mental rolodex? He's a closet freak.

- You got problems, man. - You're comin' out!

- Yeah. - No, man, I was just, you know, kidding.

Oh, man. Yo, that ain't regular, man.

See, sometime I feel like there's a whole world out there we don't know about.

Like the shit you read about in penthouse. That never happens to me.

Man, stuff like that never happens to anybody, except for marcus.

Hey, the only reason stuff like that happens to me is I pay attention to women.

- Y'all don't pay attention to women. - Whoa, I pay attention.

You have to watch them and study their moves. Get outta here, marcus.

- Yo, I can't do that, man. - That's why you don't get no pussy.

- Exactly. - Hey, tyler, there's other things in life besides sex.

Come on. How about sharing, commitment?

You got to get in touch with your feminine side, like me.

Startin' to sound a little on the soft side. Startin' to sound soft.

- Borderline bitch. - You know what your problem is?

You need more romance and less doberman pinscher. That's what you need.

That's true. That is true. You have too much dog and no romance in your life.

Whoa, marcus, don't even try that, all right? You ait got no romance.

Uh-uh-uh, excuse me. Excuse me I am the most romantic cat both of you know.

- - Uh-uh-uh!

When I meet a woman, I am flowers, I am candy, I am soft music.

- And mr. Milk bone. - No, I am mr. Romance when I meet a woman.

And then once I hit it, I lose interest. But that ain't my fault.

Oh, so, in other words, right at that moment of orgasm,

Just all the romance just skeets right out of you.

But you can't put that on me. The onus is not on me. Hi.

- Hey, hi. How are you? - Good. Thank you.

- Where are you from? - I'm from holland.

Nice meeting you. Nice meeting you too.

- Bye. - Bye-bye, cuteness.

I'm, I'm from detroit.

That shit made me mad, man. Bitches never do that to me, man.

Well, maybe it's because you call them bitches all the time.

Yeah, man. You need to straighten up, show some respect. Come on!

Yo, man. Excuse me. Excuse me, waitress?

Yeah? Look, um, I ordered the duck, right?

Yeah. What vegetable comes with that?

Ooh, that's a good one. It's saued asparagus spears.

And it is good. It's our special.

Oh, yes. Delicious.

That sounds good. Oh, god. You'll love 'em.

Bye-bye. That sounds good. Thank you.

"that sounds good." come on! What?

Why don't she just come out and call us jungle bunnies, man?

- What? What? - Asparagus spears!

If we were white, it would have been "asparagus tips." racial, man. Racial!

- Oh, man, you're trippin' now. - No, you're trippin'.

Definitely. No, you definitely...

you have got to process some of this anger, man.

Yo, uh, y'all excuse me for a minute.

You need to get in touch with tyler, man. Say, "tyler, I love you."

What? Nigga, please!

Go take a walk.

Ohh. I'll give you $20 for that leash.

Take it, fool. Turn down that good money.

Yes, baby!

kirby! Kirby!

Come on, kirb...

kirby!

Did you lose your dog?

Oh, yeah. I lost a white springer spaniel with brown spots on him, named kirby.

Real energetic, happy dog. Did you see him? Oh, I haven't seen him.

I only took him off the leash for a couple of seconds. I can't believe this happened.

Kirby! He's like a family member you know? Oh.

Oh, I know. I feel the same way about brutus.

I love my brutus. I can see why.

Do you walk him here every day? Yeah, I do.

Could you do me a favor? My name is marcus graham. Here's my card.

If you bump into kirby, could you call us? And I'll have somebody come pick him up.

Okay. Well, good luck. I sure hope you find him. Thanks.

Kirb! Kirby!

Wait. Let me give you my number.

'cause I'm not gonna be able to sleep until I know you've found him.

Do you have a pen? Do I?

I have a pen right here.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Good luck.

kirby? Kirb?

Kirbster?

marcus! Marcus! I know you hear me,

You slimy, sleazy, sneaky, slithering son of a bitch.

You wanna keep it down? Gein' ready to have some company, okay?

Oh, so who's the victim tonight?

Yvonne, I don't feel like playin' with you, okay? Stop.

Why don't you just tell her the truth?

Tell her you're gonna use her, then you're gonna dump her like you did me!

Excuse me. Excuse me. I did not dump you.

We went out. It was whack, and it was your fault, and I wish...

Look, why don't you get over it and go find another man, huh? Get outta here!

I hope you catch a disease and your dick falls off.

Oh, I would expect you to say something crass like that.

don't forget I have a court order for you to stay away.

You ain't even supposed to be that close to the gate. Court order?

I don't give a damn about no court order!

Hey. Come on in. Hi.

Nice to see you again. Nice to see you too.

Wow. Nice place. Thank you.

Where's kirby? Kirby! Kirby! Oh, he's at the groomer's.

He got caught under this truck and got some grease on his coat.

Ohhh. Thank you. He's okay, though. You look great. Yeah.

Gold star for marcus.

Dinner was yummy.

I never met a man who could cook so well.

How'd you learn how to cook like that?

Oh, well, you kind of pick those things up,

You know, when you're alone as much as I am.

Really?

Yeah. See, um...

Marcus! Marcus, you know you wrong!

You no-good... marcus!

Uh, let's go in the living room. We'll be much more comfortable in there.

okay.

- Come on. - Girlfriend!

Girlfriend, hey! Heyyyy!

Hey! Girlfriend! Whoo-hoo!

Knock, knock.

Who's there? A scared little boy named marcus,

And he's just dying to come out.

He's been hurt too, hasn't he?

Tell me about him. Tell me all about marcus.

Well, I haven't been out with anybody in about two years.

Not since debra. That's the girl I almost married.

Uh, the day of my wedding,

I went to the church a little early 'cause I had a bad feeling.

And, uh, I go in the back, and that's when I saw it.

She was on the ground with the best man...

and a priest.

freaky.

You poor baby.