Legit

Jim, listen to me. You could stab someone, right?

You could get a hummer from a tranny.

You could stab that tranny while you're getting a hummer.

Those are all things that I can work with.

But rape? Mnh-mnh.

I didn't do anything.

It was just a joke that... They're overreacting.

I know that. The point is is they don't.

Look, Jim. I've been all over this.

But when you get fired and the movie turns out great...

- Have you seen it? - No.

Oh, my God. The guy is amazing.

And the girl in it, she's all over the press

talking about how you're... the...

Yeah. The situation... How that improved her acting.

So you can imagine.

This is a pretty steep hill to climb here in Hollywood.

It's what they believe, not what's real.

So we just need something to change that.

- Like what? - I have no idea.

I got it.

Do more stand-up.

Your solution... "Keep doing what you're doing"?

All right. You have a point. Look, I got this, right?

It's this rich lawyer.

His daughter wants a comic to play her 16th birthday party.

No. I'm not doing a kid's party.

It's easy.

You show up, you say a few jokes,

maybe take a dance with her, try not to rape her.

- No. - Jim, you're broke.

- No. No. - Okay.

I tried. Good meeting.

Hey, will you see if Paul Mooney will play that bitch's party?

Who?

I j... Paul Mooney.

Ready for your PT?

I guess.

Come, come.

So, how's Ramona?

She's fine.

Oh, she's super fine.

Okay.

Yes.

Saw a bar down the end of the block.

Just one. Why not? We got an hour.

There you go. Just one.

Ow! Jesus, Raul! Are you mad at me?

I have to work you extra hard.

You seem very, very loose!

Really? You think?

Has Ramona been stretching you?

No, no, no.

Uh, I'm on this new medication.

Mm. Not bad. Suits you very well.

Thanks. Ow!

I hate being without Em. I miss her so much.

Em?

My daughter. Your granddaughter?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. How's she doing?

Good?

Is Ramona picking you up today?

No. Steve and my dad are waiting for me.

Does she like Filipino men?

Why don't you ask her yourself?

Oh. You inviting me for lunch or something?

All right, dude. You're getting creepy.

To divorce!

Yeah!

And depression!

To living on my son's sofa, huh?!

Yeah.

Oh, shit. Where are they?

Hey, uh, Raul, reach in my bag and grab the phone.

Text "I'm here."

Okay.

Also there's a spare key in there.

Uh, unlock the door. I want to get in.

I'm tired.

Yeah! What a bunch of great guys!

Yeah. One guy said Obama's the devil.

This way. This way.

He had some good points.

E-ever notice how pointy the president's face is?

Hey!

Hey!

There's somebody in here, man!

I'm gonna kill Steve.

Hi, Jim.

I'm... I'm ringing up about that party.

How much did that party pay?

Um, Paul Mooney took it.

Mooney took it?

Sorry, Jim.

All right. Never mind.

Beelzebub in the White House.

W-where's the van?

What van?

Where'd we park?

Park what?

The van, dad.

No idea, son.

Oh, he texted me.

- What... What's he say? - "I'm here."

Well, he's clearly not, because he's not, and we are.

Damn it, Billy!

Hey, Raul!

Where's the van?

Oh. Billy is inside.

Oh. Well, when he comes out, tell him that we're at the bar.

Find the van, 'cause it's not here.

No. Billy is inside.

You said that!

The van.

Yes. The van. The van.

Tell... him... we're... out... here!

What?

Let's check down there.

And no more drinking till later.

Probably on the wrong block.

Hello?!

Could somebody help me, please?!

I'm gonna die.

Time number eight is gonna be in a tow yard.

Hello?!

Hey!

Oh, please see me.

Thank God.

Hey, man!

Hey!

There's somebody in here! Hey, man!

Please! Please!

Yeah! Yeah! Hey!

- Oh. Shh. - Ooh.

Where have you guys been?

Father-son drinking.

Good example there, Walter.

Kidding me? It was hard keeping up with this guy.

I know.

So, Jim, turns out we have a slight problem.

This looks tasty.

Dad, are you gonna get high?

Is the pope catholic?

I don't know. They got a new pope, didn't they?

Is he catholic?

Wow. I'm gonna get high with my dad.

This is awesome.

This is all very inspiring, but where's Billy?

- We lost him. - Oh, no.

"Lost" is a harsh word.

We misplaced him.

How did you lose Billy?

Well, technically, we lost the van.

How did you lose the van?!

It turns out Billy was in the van, so we lost him too.

No. Misplaced.

And you're doing what about it now?

We're talking about it, Jim.

What? Geez. God!

Hello?

Hey. Jim? Listen. It's me, Billy.

I can't hear you.

I'm trapped in the van in a tow yard in Culvert City!

Billy's in a tow yard.

Well, there you go, Jimmy.

We talked about it, and now we've found him.

We should talk about Choco Tacos.

We'll find them.

- Silver van, right? - Yeah.

Yeah. Here it is.

It's, uh, $2,963.

It can't be $2,900. It was a tow.

It was like four blocks. This is a mistake.

Yeah. It's repo. It's four months late, man.

You got tax, fees, penalties... all kinds of shit.

- Here you go. - Four months?

That's a mistake.

A mistake like leaving your brother in a van?

We didn't leave you in the van. It was repossessed.

Raul said you were inside.

Yes, inside! Inside the van, Steve!

You weren't there. He didn't say that.

- He said you were... - We sent you a text!

- Ernesto, do you have a... - I was in that van for four hours!

Shut up!

You take credit card, Ernesto?

- Yeah. Sure thing. - Thank you.

I j... I can't believe you forgot me.

You just left me there!

Well, shit happens. Yeah, shit does happen.

But you don't leave a disabled guy in a van

for four hours, Steve.

I mean, what were you even doing?

Guess.

Drinking.

And w-where was dad?

He was buying the drinks.

Well, that's just perfect.

You know, I never thought I'd be