It's a Boy Girl Thing

Give me my Romeo, and when he shall die,

take him and cut him out to little stars -

and he'll make the face of heaven so fine.

And all the world will be in love with the night -

Mystical: Shake Ya Ass

and... make the face of heaven so fine that all...

the world will be in love....

... all the world will be in love with the night...

Excuse me! Excuse me!

- Woody, will you turn that down? - Sorry, I can't hear you!

Turn the noise down!

Sorry, did you say something?

I'm trying to study but it's impossible with that racket going on!

It's not racket, that's Mystical!

Whatever it is, will you please switch it off?

- What's it worth? - The gratitude of a music lover?

Alright, I turn it off!

If you flash me! Show me what girls are all about!

You are a pig!

- Anyway, I've seen them before! - What! You have not!

Have now!

Good morning, Mr. Fluffy.

- Woody, are you up yet? - Oh, yeah!

- Good morning, Daddy! - I have some mail for you, princess.

It's from Yale!

I have an interview next week!

I applied for early action for you, honey!

My precious little girl are going to Yale!

I have to get through the interview first, mother!

- You won't let us down, never have. - Never has.

- Isn't it exciting, Ted? - It's very exciting, Katherine.

- Are you excited? - I am.

I'm so excited I could yell it from the roof tops!

Thank you, mother!

Bachman Turner Overdrive: You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet

Everything OK back there?

No problem, honey.

Just searing off a couple of finger prints.

Carry on, my good woman.

- Big game's coming up soon, son? - Yep!

Coach says all the big college scouts gonna be at the game.

Yeah, I know.

Speciality of the House! I call it 'Eggs What the Heck'

So much of fine cuisine is down to presentation, don't you think, son?

Oh yeah, absolutely!

You'll be the first member of my family to go to college.

He'll be the first member of your family to go to freaking school!

That's true.

But son, if thing's don't work out, there'll always be a job for you -

with Stan the Man at Spatula World.

- To me, the greatest living American should...

have individual accomplishments -

but also have a lasting influence on America and with the world.

And that is why after careful consideration my candidate...

- Yo, what's up boy? - Hi, Horse!

- Nice grab, Horse! How's it hanging? - To the floor, my friend!

What say we shift this baby into warp drive, huh?

I want you to feel the wind blowing through...

the hair of your fine muscular ass!

Hit it please!

Eminem: Without Me

Well, looky here!

Is that not a pencil necked virgin girl I see before me?

I do believe it is.

She's standing dangerously close to a vast pool of water.

For a smart girl, that ain't so smart.

Thank you!

OK, just keep walking.

No one will notice.

Who wants cotton candy?

Hey, Nell, I love what you've done with your hair!

Thanks, Glixen.

Three, two one...

Hey, watch it!

- Harry! - What's up baby!

Wow wow, people around!

Nice look!

Special needs boy and his muse, the lovely Clamydia.

My name's Breanna, you geek!

By the way, sorry about this morning.

That puddle just... showed up in front of us!

Oh, that's OK, please don't apologize it, I understand.

While archetypal outsiders such as myself...

rarely fit comfortably into high school environments -

this is as good as your life will get.

The big football star and his vacuous cheerleader girlfriend...

Head cheerleader.

Because, let's face it. The old grey matter...

ain't exactly top level, is it Woodster?

So you end up with a job with your dad -

and probably marry Breanna here.

But soon you start drinking to numb this aching feeling you have inside.

Fast forward a few years and you're a drunk...

fat guy at a bar talking about the good old days.

While your little wife whose looks have gone to the dodo -

is prepping up her self esteem with squalid...

sexual encounters with your friends behind your back.

- What friends? - I'm guessing most of them.

Have a good day.

Class, please turn to page 488. Paragraph...

demarked 'Early history' -

which reads: 'Combined with the study of mankind -

in all its aspects, especially human culture -

we are therefore examining that society through...

the exploration of classical structure.'

Now, do not forget to make full use of your abstract database.

And class, please make sure the references of...

the source material include the internet.

That's OK for now but -

you might want to omit that page from your reference list.

Now, Mr. Zbornak will be taking your field trip this week.

I tried on the most amazing dress for the dance.

Think Beyonce's wow-factor meets Gwen Stefani's outfit of individuality -

with just a sprinkling of designer slut Aguilera.

The whole thing's very Madonna...

before she got old naturally.

Sounds hot!

Now, I think Armani would be good for you.

Stylish yet understated -

so you look good but you don't distract attention from me.

Mr Deanne! If it's not too much trouble?

OK, just a minute!

Take a look at this odd looking fella!

Texcatlipoca -

the ancient Aztek god of sorcery. Associated...

with the notion of destiny.

Tex here has an interesting resume:

He was the god of night, lord of the smoking mirror.

A shape shifter -

a powerful SOB.

Mr Deanne, do you think I might have your attention?

Or does Mr. Horson have something particularly interesting to say?

I'm betting on unlikely.

OK, time is short, people. I want you to...

pair off and take in the rest yourselves.

Remember: research,

analyze and...

...describe!

Very nice.

Mr Horson, you go with Mr Glixen. Mr Deanne, you go with Miss Bedworth.

Let's get your learn on.

So, checked out any good porno sites lately?

I cannot believe I'm stuck with you. Let's...

hope I don't breathe in any retard germs.

Let's hope I don't get any pencil neck virgin disease.

Get stuffed.

I hate you!

It's because you secretly want to have sex with me!

When I do decide to surrender the flower of my womanhood -

I've always imagined it to be with someone of my own species!

There's is nobody else in your species, except maybe Glixen.

You're such a moron. You really think...

the world evolves around rap music, football

and hanging out with the right crowd?

You know, you make me sick, you think you are so different to everyone else.

Different from.

You said 'Different to'. The correct phraseology is 'Different from'.

Thanks for that information. You're no different...

from any other geek with books instead of friends -

and you don't have to open your big fat mouth to correct me.

- Neanderthal! - Spaz.

I should pity you but I can't. I hate you too much.

I rather cross my legs for the rest of my life...

for everybody than to be anything like you!

- Dito! - 'Dito'?

Double dito!

Double double dito times a thousand trillions!

'... and forever more shall find her destiny to live alone no more.'

Good night, Mr. Fluffy.

Oh God, my head...

I must be dreaming. Time to wake up.

What was that?

Tits!

I have tits. Two tits!

That's the regular number of tits but not for a guy! What's going on here?

Oh my god, my dick's gone! I have a bush?

Two tits and a bush but no dick -

Oh god, that must be a dream.

A very very bad 'I-lost-my-dick-dream'.

Just stay calm! What the hell is happening to me?

What is this? This isn't my room!

This is just a dream, a big, bad dream!

We need to talk! Talk? She want's to talk?

Let's talk about why I'm going through a drawer...

full of underwear with the days of the freakin' week on them!

Oh God!

OK, now my bush knows it's Wednesday! Oh - gross!

It's tough enough getting these damn things off!

How the hell does anyone know hot to get these things on?

Ladies, looks like you and me is going au natural.

Go away!

Alright, coast is clear.

Get off.

Good morning!

- Nell, is everything OK? - I didn't see you there!

- Your oatmeal is on the table. - I'm in a hurry, gotta go.

Nonsense, now you sit down, it's the most important meal of the day.

And oatmeal is wonderful for promoting healthy and regular bowel movements.

That's cool if I want to take a dump the size of my head.

Excuse me?