Pushing Tin

(overlapping air traffic control chatter)

Southwest 444, flying 180...

Uh, maintain 5,000...

Maintain 5,000. Proceed number 6, uh, 43...

2330, climb and maintain 16-1-6,000.

Continental 901, eight miles from the outer marker. Turn left heading zero-8-zero.

Maintain 2,000 till intercepting the localizer cleared ILS Runway 4, right approach.

TWA 732, runway zero 4, right. Newark altimeter is 2-niner-niner-2.

- Continental 525, turn left heading 1-4-zero. Maintain 6. - Maintain 5,000, 220 knots.

Learjet 64. 64, contact 515 4.76. Have a nice day.

Please let that mean you're finished.

- Yes! - Oh, ho ho ho!

Grazie. Grazie. Danke schoen. Prego. We're here all week.

Boston center now, 1-3-5-point 1.

Ed, tower wants them out faster. They're backin' up.

I've only got so much room. My airspace is finite.

- Hey, everybody. Ed's goin' down the pipes. - I'm not goin' down the pipes.

Yeah, you are. It happens every time you use the word "finite."

American 427, depart VOR. Heading 2-1-zero.

Traffic 5 o'clock above you. No, correction, below you.

- No, no, I was right before. - Correction, below you. Blow me...

Hey, Nick, any chance you taking Allegheny 2629?

Allegheny 2629. Sure. I got room for the whole fleet.

- You don't have to take that, Zone, you got a full load. - Let him take it, Leo. Teamwork!

Don't be a pain in the ass, Pat.

Get off the rubber! Off the rubber!

Allegheny 2629, reduce speed to 180 knots.

- Altimeter 2-niner-niner-2. 180, 2629.

KLM 3729, traffic 2 o'clock, 3 miles east-southeast bound.

Level at 3,000 feet, an Econojet. I'm putting him ahead of you.

- Caution, wake turbulence. Got him in sight, 3729.

Thanks. Tell you what. Turn 20 degrees to the left.

- I wanna keep you on the ILS. Okay.

Four out of five dentists surveyed recommend

sugarless gum for their patients who chew gum.

Sugarless gum, sugarless gum, sugarless gum, sugarless...

Gum, gum, gum. Incom... gum...

Continental 962, heavy, turn left heading 1-4-zero.

140, continental 962.

American 7736, contact Newark tower, 118.3. Take care. Thanks.

You do good work. American 7736.

They're gonna have to build planes faster to keep me interested, Leo.

-I'll be damned. -Continental 428, descend and maintain 5,000.

6 to 5. Continental 428.

Continental 961, go direct to Robbinsville at this time, please.

To Robbinsville, continental 961. -He shoots. He scores.

It's sleek, it's crisp.

Is that crisp vectoring or what?

I got 'em lined up like Rockettes.

Hey, you guys think Tina's lookin' good lately? -Tina? She's too muscular.

-We see her everyday. -It'd be like sex with your wife.

Extra crispy makes me feel sick.

If he gets extra crispy, I'll take 'em.

I want a side of berries and a slice of melon.

- A side of white toast for me. - Wheat toast, no butter.

- Whatever toast you got is fine. - Oh... oh, okay.

Um, I got to start again.

Oh, no, no, no. Not to worry there, Kim.

Everybody loses the picture sometimes.

Take the weight off those lovely getaway sticks.

Hey, don't worry. He's bailed us out too.

- Oh, okay. - She was gonna sit right here.

Order up.

Two eggs easy, not runny, extra crisp bacon, browns and wheat light.

One 3-egg ham and cheddar, no onion, cottage fries, bacon and rye, and a 3-egg sunny, runny,

tall buttermilk and ham, pigs, browns, double order white...

And side berries, melon.

Move it! People are hungry. Strive for greatness, men.

I'm a restaurant critic for the Times.

Pardon me. Would you ladies like to join us till something opens up?

Thank you, no. We'll wait.

Please, my mother would be ashamed of me sitting while ladies stand.

Do this for Mother. She's gonna have a heart attack if I tell her about this thing.

I think it would be okay.

- Hi. Hey, how you doin'?

-Good. -Come on, uh, part the Red Sea.

- Yeah, yeah, absolutely. - Thank you.

- Have a seat, please. - Thank you.

- You're welcome. - Barry, Ron, Ed. I'm Nick...

- And you are? - Karen.

- Hi, Karen, nice to meet you. - I'm Beverly.

- Hi, Beverly. How are ya? - How ya doin'?

- Thank you. - Good. Now, you're welcome.

- I'm married. - (giggles)

You were just about to throw yourselves at him, right?

So, do you guys work together or something?

Yeah, we're in the aviation industry.

- Pilots? - Yeah. How can you tell?

-(mentally handicapped voice) I drive a plane. -Duh.

What are they doin'? What are they doin'? What are they doin'? Karen?

No, you're safe. You're safe.

- We're air traffic controllers. - Ohh.

So you work in a tower somewhere?

Uh, no. We work in a big building here on the island.

A TRACON.

-A what? A terminal radar approach control.

Kind of in stereo there. - It's nowhere near an airport.

We funnel every plane in or out of New York's finite airspace.

As soon as your plane leaves the ground, tower turns you over to us.

-Seven thousand a day. -More planes closer together than any place on earth.

-Kennedy, Newark, La Guardia. It's true. -Wow. It sounds pretty tough.

It is. -Oh, I don't know what the big deal is.

I mean, it seems to me like you guys just sit around all day

talkin' on the radio... on the ground.

No, ma'am, it's a lot more complicated than just that.

-Yeah, it's complicated. -This job can be a bit stressful some...

Don't say it's... it's... it's stressful!

(Billy Idol: "Dancin' with Myself")

- Hey, baby. - Hey, honey.

- You hungry? - No, we got breakfast at Ted's.

- Oh. Lipstick. - Where you goin'?

Little Nicky's teacher wants to talk to me about his attention span.

-What about it? -Apparently he doesn't have one.

How do I look? Do I look, uh, parental and concerned?

Mmm. you look great.

That sounds serious. Maybe I should go with you.

No, that's okay, Nick. I can handle this.

-I want you to stay and get some sleep. -Sleep is boring.

-I worry about you. -Well, do you have to go right away?

Why?

Oh. Oh, that feels good.

Yeah? Will you at least hurry back?

- From what? - The attention thing.

Right. Save it, honey.

There's a... a... a... casserole in the, uh, uh, the fridge.

Fridge.

-Be fast. -It'll be like it never happened.

Okay. (laughing) Oh, God, Nicky.

We need one of those little chairs, you know, the things that the old people have.

Yes, I'll be right there. I'm s...

I'm sorry, Sister Beatrice.

Yes, I... I understand. I'm sorry.

Yes, I'm very sorry.

Yeah, bye-bye.

Oh, I hate conferences like this.

You know, what's always unsaid is that you're a failure as a parent.

Come on, Connie. She's a nun. They're very unhappy people.

Don't worry. I'll help him with his homework. It'll be okay.

-Oh, honey, you're only able to do that when you work days. -So, he'll be a third smarter.

You work days twelve days a month, honey. It's not a third.

Well, like what? 12 into 31. It's like, I don't know, under half.

-Honey, I've got my art class tonight. -What are you talkin' about?

The adult extension class. Drawing the human form. I told you.

- Oh, the, um... - You know, I just, uh...

I need to feel a... a little more...

I need to, you know, have a... a... a life of the mind.

Hmm. are there gonna be a lot of bare-assed guys there?

No. They're not coming till week three.

-That's what you're doin' it for. -Do you... I don't know.

Do you think it's a... a bad idea?

No, no, I think all that stuff is good.

Whatever makes you happy, you know?

-You're happy, aren't you, Connie? -Hmm?

Yeah. Sure.

What a funny old question.

This is the radar to show us all the planes in the sky over the New York area.

Kennedy, La Guardia, and Newark

are all within 20 miles of each other.

- Seven thousand flights... - Ah, jeez.

- What are you doing? - Let it go, Zone.

Okay, guys. Right up here. There we go.

Cute kids, Pat. They all yours?

Could be. You know, when I was young I laid my share of pipe.

- (laughs) - (teacher clears throat)

Uh, these are the scopes,

and each one of these blips is an airplane.

-Pat, Pat, do you mind stepping off the rubber? -Right. Okay.

Did you youngsters know that an air traffic controller

is responsible for more lives in a single shift

than a surgeon is in his entire life?

It looks like a computer game.

Well, this is no game, young man, I'll tell you that.

-If you make a mistake here, there's no reset button. -Don't touch me, Pat.

I hear air traffic controllers have the highest rates of clinical depression,

nervous breakdowns, heart attacks, and alcoholism of any profession.

- Don't forget suicide, kid. - Suicide too.

Timmy always does a lot of research for our field trips.

Um, he's been online since he was four.

- Pat? - Yes, Ed.

- Take them somewhere else. - Right.

Okay, kids. This way. Here we go. This way.

You know, controlling air traffic is much like conducting a big symphony orchestra.

Mr. Feeney was using a metaphor to express his feelings. Can you all say "metaphor"?

That wasn't a metaphor. That was a simile. "Laying pipe" is a metaphor.

Ronnie! I got a departure, he didn't tag up. I'm not talking to him. He's gone NORDO.

-What was the last thing you gave him? -28 and 8. Didn't acknowledge.