The Righteous Gemstones

The Maniac Kid!

-Come on, Maniac! -Bring us on home.

He brings a scrappy spirit to the ring

that many do not survive!

It's the Atomic Drop!

Yeah! Yeah!

From the wrong side of the tracks,

a newcomer to the league!

All muscle, all attitude!

Maniac Kid with a high-flying smackdown!

Devastating, homicidal!

He's gone! Over the cameras!

It's mayhem in Memphis!

Today's special is Memphis Soul Stew.

Yeah, Maniac Kid!

Damn, boy, that was a beautiful thing to watch.

Oh, you are poetry in motion, son.

Here, take it. Any interest in some bonus pay?

Yes, sir. I'm definitely interested.

All right, well, you take a ride with us.

South side of town.

Juni!

You drive.

Hey, that's a nice dick, Ernie.

Good morning.

What the fuck?

Get a job, you bums!

The hell's the matter with you?

Did I raise you to be a piece of shit

or does it just come naturally?

Asshole.

And where's your sympathy?

They just want the same thing that everybody else wants.

A piece of the fucking pie.

All right, Maniac, you just follow my lead.

Remember I'm the boss.

You ain't my boss, Junior.

Well, yeah, my daddy's the boss.

But technically, that makes me above you

and if I give you an order, you have to do it.

Isn't that right, Daddy?

You ain't the boss of shit.

Now stop trying to be a big man.

Just put on these masks, get in there,

and take care of business.

Asshole.

This mask smells like shit.

And guess what. Daddy tooted.

Yes, I did.

Kill 'em.

Kill 'em both.

Oh, yeah.

Crawford, I'm not gonna tell you again.

Turn it down! It's keeping her up.

You're making me miss this!

It's my shows, goddamn it.

- -Your shows...

Don't worry, Margaret.

Not everyone's as mean as your daddy.

-Shut her up. -Mm.

While you keep him busy, I'll go around

and get from behind.

Hey!

Bring me a beer if you're rummaging around!

This is empty.

Who the fuck are you?

Ow!

Ow! -I said turn the goddamn TV--

Daddy's home!

- -Shh.

You owe Glen.

I ain't got no money!

Ah! I ain't got no money!

I'm dead broke! -You owe Glen,

and I need that money, and I need it now!

Tomorrow! Tomorrow, I can get it!

Be Christian. Lemme go!

- -Do it!

Please, let me go!

Buy yourself something nice.

Yeah. -

Ah, yeah, poetry in motion.

You're late, boy.

Sorry, sir.

No, go on.

Take a seat. -Yes, ma'am.

Where were you?

I was out running errands.

Errands?

-Yes, sir. -For who?

-For the Lord. -

-Can it, Mary! -Both of you... enough.

Now lead us in prayer.

Me or her?

I'm looking at you.

So just say me then.

Do it, Eli Gemstone.

Yes, sir.

Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat.

I'm ashamed.

I stand before you as an old friend

and a child of Christ.

Not the deviant sex-doer the media paints me as.

I don't know what my family's gonna do.

-You probably should've thought of that before you filmed

your wife doing cunnilingus on a woman

in a dance club bathroom.

Amen.

Okay, Diane.

Well, what, you fixing to pile on?

You got no compassion for me?

After how long we known each other.

-Apparently, I didn't know you as well as I thought I did.

Lot of revelations in this "New York Times" piece.

Lots of deviants.

Don't you talk deviants to me.

Brothers, sister pastors,

Makawon wants a chance to speak.

I think we owe him that much.

We didn't do anything illegal.

Those were private pleasures shared with my wife.

And we didn't know we ate Molly.

We thought they were mini SweeTarts.

Please don't kick my family off the streaming platform, Eli.

We've always been a loyal affiliate.

My church can't survive in this new normal

without being on streaming.

I don't know what I'm gonna do if we can't be on TV no more.

It taints the whole brand.

Now what message does that send to my congregation?

Mak.

Now I know you feeling 'bout as low

as a bowlegged caterpillar.

But I'm with Diane.

He says his church is really cool with the gays

and the queers, but not so much about

the swingers and the thrah--thrahples.

Damn it, Tony! DeeDee and I are not

in a throuple with this woman!

She's a random with a lifestyle calls her a snack.

You think this reporter's just my problem?

He's all our problem.

He's a crusader.

An activist.

You're wrong if you don't think he gonna come after you next.

It ain't like y'all don't have your secrets too.

All right, Mak.

This is not how I wanted it to go down.

Mm.

So that's that?

I'm gonna kill myself.

- -

Mak!