Sexmission (Seksmisja) (Seksmisja)

"Tomorrow is today, except tomorrow" Sławomir Mrożek '81

All unauthorised persons are asked to leave Security Zone 1. I repeat.

All unauthorised persons are asked to leave Security Zone 1.

We're going in. You can remove the cover.

It's a bad sign.

No, it's, you know...

It does that sometimes. Internal pressure or something.

In the glass.

Let's go before they blame us for it.

Ladies and gentlemen, a new day has just begun - 9th August 1991.

Remember this date. It is going to be a profound one in our history.

Now, greet the man who invented immortality.

Nobel Prize winner, Professor Wiktor Kuppelweiser.

- Welcome to our studio, Professor. - Immortality is an overstatement.

I have only been able to put a human being in a state of anabiosis.

- Or hibernation. - Exactly.

I should add that the most recent experiment of the Professor's team...

Freezing a chimpanzee for six months, was a complete success.

Excuse me. It was unfreezing.

Allow me to introduce Mr. Albert Starski and Mr. Maksymilian...

- Paradys. - Paradys, yes.

These two handsome, brave, outstanding men are about to be placed

in containers which could be called 21st century sarcophagi.

Excuse me. They are hibernators, not sarcophagi. Coco!

Exactly. In three years they will awaken as - hopefully - living proof

of the human thought's victory over force of nature.

What caused you to make this par excellence bone-chilling decision?

Allow me to be brief.

Responsibility.

A humble biologist like me has an opportunity to be useful to mankind.

Grand words, but it's what I think.

Consider that thanks to hibernation many incurably ill people

will be able to relocate to times when the cure is already available.

Our son is a man of importance now.

Like Gagarin...

Or others.

So...

I always liked risk, all kinds of unfamiliar matters.

The intense life.

Hibernation has been an interest of mine...

Just admit that it's about money.

Bastard.

Leaving us alone like that.

- I've been waiting for a chance... - Look at that rascal. He's your daddy.

Remember him well.

When I learned they're looking for volunteers I applied. They chose me.

Thank you. Would you like to add anything?

I want to salute to all hibernation enthusiasts around the world.

The final question, ladies and gentlemen. Aren't you afraid?

- Of what? - Exactly.

After all, the method is tested, Coco is here with us.

Just to be fully clear, there is, of course, a certain risk.

Pardon me?

Experiments on animals are inconclusive as to the influence of hibernation

on the human mind.

We don't know how the pituitary gland will react.

The experiment might be followed by hallucinations.

Let us move on to this cavern of knowledge, which, like in 1001 Nights,

will swallow our heroes and release them in three years,

hopefully safe and sound,

on the call "Open Sesame."

Let me remind you that in three days we are meeting

at the worldwide convent of the Women's League.

You may smile, you can frown, the League will never let you down.

Thank you, and goodbye.

SEXMISSION

I can't see!

It's to be expected after hibernation.

- Is it over? - Yes, it's over.

Thank you.

Thank you. I can't see.

- I think it went well. - It did.

Yeah, like I said. Done and dusted.

Darkness. I see darkness.

I see darkness!

I'm sweating terribly. Are you?

The body is releasing it all. Perfectly normal.

You're right.

A typical post-hibernation reaction.

Good morning.

Such nice personnel. Breakfast!

Thank you very much.

My last meal was three years ago.

Rolls, eggs...

How nice.

Excuse me.

It's stale.

Of course!

Clever thing.

Thank you.

My sense of taste is gone.

It has... no taste at all.

You are to respect the adaptation food regimen.

Oh, I see.

I'm feeling kind of sick.

If I don't get a smoke...

Wait, wait.

Got it!

- You are unbelievable. - Sorry, no pack.

You can't smoke here. There are no ashtrays.

We could have missed that. And nobody's watching.

- Just for the company. - There you go.

I actually don't smoke, you know. It's bad for me.

Now, after that... food...

We don't have a lighter.

It works!

That's good.

Just what I needed.

- It's a good cigarette. - Cigarette!

I think it's overrated, the harmfulness.

CIGARETTE - AN INTOXICATING STIMULANT BROUGHT TO EUROPE IN 1492

- I can still taste the plastic. - Too much of that pink stuff.

CARCINOGENIC. BANNED BY THE LEAGUE IN 1996

Maybe we shouldn't be smoking during the quarantine.

See what happens in a couple of days.

Interviews.

Autographs.

Visiting workplaces.

You'll get sick of it.

Pardon me. Here, help yourself.

Hello.

Hey, what the...

It would seem smoking is forbidden here.

- Professor Kuppelweiser? - Yes.

- Winner of the so-called Nobel Prize? - Yeah.

- Doesn't exist. - Yeah... What?

Come again?

Sister.

What is going on here?

The experiment was a success, right? We're heroes, right?

I was sprayed with foam, right? What the hell is the point of all this?

Let us speak to your superior.

You should be happy that you were de-hibernated at all.

Why wouldn't we be? The experiment...

would be pointless.

There were more important matters during the war than experiments.

What war?

What?

Politics wasn't supposed to matter. What do I care about your wars?

Our?

- It was your war. We don't have wars. - You've got some nerve.

Who won?

- Won what? - The war, obviously!

It doesn't matter who won. What matters is who survived.

Ma'am, where is Professor Kuppelweiser?

Doctor Lamia told you.

That he doesn't exist?

What do you mean, doesn't exist?

- He had another accident? - Like everyone else.

We would like to see the director of this facility.

Yes?

- I would rather talk to a man. - They don't understand, Sister.

Contacting a specimen of your sex is... unrealizable.

Un-what?

- You are the only males in existence. - Men are extinct.

Extinct? They weren't mammoths!

It turns out they were. In a sense.

- I'm sorry, what day is it? - 8th March.

You have been asleep longer than was anticipated.

Longer than three years?

- Five? - No.

Four?

I've seen her somewhere.

I'm sorry.

Doctor, I don't care. My contract was for three years.

You'll be paying for overtime.

- What year is it? - '44.

2044.

There are no men?

Why are there no windows here?

Why are there no doorknobs?

We've been asleep for 53 years?

It's probably the hallucinations.

This is a lovely chat, but...

Excuse us. We have to be going.

We're running late. Goodbye.

Say goodbye to the ladies, Mr. Starski.

Goodbye.

- Sister, should I stay with you? - No, I prefer to work alone.

Goodbye.

There's a breakdown at 3, I'll fix it tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Electrocuting us?

Heroes?

Electrocuting?

What's going on here?

We need to get our muscles going.

Get them going.

What is this about?

It was supposed to be great. Interviews.

What's going on? Damn, it hurts.

Don't say anything.

Electric shocks can be very beneficial... for the organism.

This has to be a second stage of the experiment. Testing the subject's

- resistance to psychological shock. - What are you getting at?

What am I, a guinea pig?

A world without men?

I wonder how they'd... reproduce.

Don't worry. It was always the woman who gave birth to life.

Yeah, but we helped a wee bit! And not without pleasu...