The Future

Have you ever been outside?

I mean, not temporarily, I mean born outside.

Never been inside,

never been petted, not even once.

Yes?

Then you know about the darkness

that is not appropriate to talk about.

I had a bloody paw when they found me

and carried me in a towel to the cageatorium.

It was not cool there.

But they said... "welcome back for you paw paw."

"Paw paw." That's what they called me.

And they called each other Sophie and Jason.

Can you get me some water?

I'm not getting up. I'm just shifting my position.

If we had a crane... Then we could get water without getting up.

We could just...

How would you turn the faucet on?

Just with my mind.

It's such a shame that the only thing you can do with your mind

is something that you could just do with your hand.

Well, at least I have that, you know?

You can't really do anything special with your mind.

Except stop time.

Oh, really? I wasn't aware of that.

Can I see an example?

Turn the faucet on.

I don't want to waste water.

You really want me to stop time?

Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? All right.

One... Two... Three...

You're so bad at this.

Really?

I thought I was doing good.

Hello and thank you for calling horizicom.

My name is Jason. Can I have your service I.D. Number?

What operating system are you...

And hop, hop, hop.

Keep on hopping.

And hop, hop, and run under!

Sign out!

My video got over 10,000 hits.

Did you see it yet?

No, I...

No...

That's ok.

They wouldn't really be your thing anyways.

And what operating system are you running?

Ok, great. Can you go to mail?

And then click on preferences.

Now read to me what it says there.

There you go.

Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Thank you for calling horizicom.

Have a nice day.

How was class?

It was cancelled.

On account of me being overqualified.

Really?

Yes.

It was very satisfying actually.

The president was there...

Obama?

Exactly.

And he declared me,

on behalf of all the principalities, free to dance.

Or do whatever I want.

Like if you just want to be on Facebook all the time,

he's cool with that?

Well, he knows that I've been gearing up to do something

really incredible for the last 15 years.

Did he say anything about your little friend?

No.

He doesn't know about shirty.

Shirty is private.

Not that I'm embarrassed or anything.

Yeah, I think that place is definitely going to put him to sleep.

So then we're totally doing the right thing?

I think we are.

I think we're ready.

Ready for...

Anyway, you know I think we are.

Anyways, it's just for six months.

Yeah... At the most...

At the most, six months...

And then we can do whatever we want...

For the rest of our lives.

Is this even big enough?

Yeah.

Hi. We're here for an adoption.

Ok.

The doctor's running behind,

so it'll be a few minutes.

All right, thanks.

I'm going to go to the bathroom.

Ok.

Thanks.

Do you want to buy that?

My dad drew it.

I live with him because my mom's a free spirit.

Does it look like me?

Yeah, it does.

I wrote my mom's and dad's phone numbers on the back,

so if someone buys it and they decide

they don't want it, they can give it back to us.

That's a good idea.

I know.

But no one wanted it.

So many of the other ones got bought.

But ours is still here.

Well, maybe it's just no one's cup of tea.

It's my cup of tea.

Oh, you don't have to do that.

No, I want it.

Um... I guess I pay for it up front.

Well, take your time, it's no pressure.

Come on.

He's doing much better since you brought him in,

but he does have renal failure.

That's what this is for.

When you pull the needle out,

you might see a drop or two of blood, that's normal.

He gets the sub-q once a day,

and rotate the pill sequence on alternating days...

so Monday, Monday, Thursday.

Friday, Friday, and so on.

Right.

Oh, no.

We can't release him until this comes off.

He has about a month to go.

You can pick him up on the...26th.

But please don't be late.

We're overcrowded and we euthanize.

Take a moment with him.

Ok. Hey.

We are going to bring you home and adore you

and take care of you for the rest of your life.

No matter what you do.

Yeah.

Because he could be wild.

You know, we don't really know for sure.

Well, I don't think they would have taken him if he was wild.

Uh... The woman that was here before said that he only

had five or six months left, so is that including...

Well, of course, if you take really good care of him

and he bonds with you, he could easily hang on for years.

But probably no more than five.

They came back and they petted me

and I accidentally made the sound that means

I am a cat, which is belonging to you.

And upon making the sound, I felt it to be true.

It was a warm type of feeling

that would have been unwise to have outside, at night.

But it suddenly seemed that I would not be outside at night ever again.

It could just be six months.

That's if we do a bad job.

We're not gonna do a bad job.

Well, I have to be able to go to New York, my parents...

No, one of us always has to be here now.

So I always have to be home?

What if I don't want to be doing tech support for five more years?

We'll be 40 in five years.

Wow. 40 is basically 50,

and then after 50 the rest is just...

Loose change.

Loose change?

Like not quite enough to get anything you really want.

Oh, God.

So for all practical purposes, in a month...

That's it for us.

God, I always thought I'd be smarter.

I also thought eventually we'd be rich.

I always want to follow the news,

you know but then I'm so far behind,

and now it's just like... what's the point?

I actually thought I'd end up being a world leader.

Oh, yeah, that's not gonna happen.

It's too late for us.

At least we have a month.

You know, that's actually a long time when you think about it.

Like, we thought we'd have him home today,

but instead we have a whole month to...

Do what?

I don't know, but, I mean,

if this is our last month ever, shouldn't we...

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

I mean, if we were dying in a month,

we would definitely reprioritize.

Right.

What? It's work.

That was so easy!

Was that easy for you?

Not really!

Yeah, but now you're free to do...

I know. I can't wait.

Do you know what you're going to do?

No, but that's what's great.