Two Weeks Notice

I'm an attorney. This isn't how I argue.

You're getting on my nerves!

This building has been here 75 years. It deserves to remain for the community...

because it represents the ideals of that time!

The community deserves to have this as a landmark. It is something to...

And we're removing it from our children's children. You go back here.

This a community theater, and everyone should benefit from this building!

This is your last warning! We got a permit to take down this building!

I have a permit that allows me to gather for the purpose...

of expressing my constitutional right of free speech!

- You want to get killed, lady? - Sir, according to city code...

- Forget about your code! - Section 245: If a committee...

- Forget about the code, lady! - When a landmark's committee decision...

- Lady, you're in violation! - Have you ever read the Constitution?

Take it up, Charlie! Watch this constitution.

- Do you read? - Clear the area!

Yeah, you're clear. Go ahead.

Okay, you guys, this is just a scare tactic.

- That's all this is. - Well, it's sort of working.

Meryl, they do productions from the Y here, productions with little people!

The Nutcracker and Hair. We have to lie down in protest. Take out your mats.

Here, I've got your protective eye gear, your sun block and your wet naps.

- Everybody, lie down in protest! - Get out of the way.

- We will prevail! - You will go to jail!

Tom! Lock arms.

- I'm not feeling great about this. - Have a little faith.

Meryl, would you marry me?

Really?

Oh, my God! Yes!

Shut it down, Charlie.

- I love you. - Hey, you guys, they stopped.

You're good luck. There is justice in the world. We prevailed!

Lunatic!

Crazy lady!

- We should call our parents. - Yeah.

Here are your wet naps.

- Oh, thanks. - Thanks. We had a good time.

- I'm glad. Bye. - Bye.

Bye. Thank you.

I'll pay you back this time, guys. I promise.

What are parents for, if not to bail their daughter and her friends out of jail?

So did they knock it down?

I'm not getting through to people. Why don't people respond to me?

Honey, Wade Corporation is not people, it's a heartless profit machine.

And it's getting worse all the time.

They're bidding on the Surf Avenue lot.

They wanna put up condos and tear down the center.

Wait, our community center? My community center?

Come on, honey, let's discuss it over dinner.

No, Dad, you know what? I'm just tired. I think I'll just go home.

Hi, honey, it's Ansel.

I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna make it back for your birthday.

We got a lot of new trainees onboard and they put the green in Greenpeace.

But I'm saving whales and thinking of you. Love you.

Yeah, hi, Mr. Wong. Lucy Kelson.

Fine. I would like a number 17...

a number fou... Number five.

No. Number seven? Seven.

Can I get the number four without the garlic sauce?

Okay, and then maybe two orders of number 26.

And...

Yes, it's for one.

And that's it. No! Give me a number eight.

Give me two number eights.

Okay.

Okay. Bye.

When they told me I'd been chosen the Medical Center's Man of the Year...

I assumed it had something to do with...

the millions we contributed to the pediatric wing.

But as it turns out, I had my appendix removed earlier this year...

and under anesthesia, I apparently proposed marriage...

to every nurse in the hospital.

Including the many attractive male nurses.

Why are pediatrics so important to Wade?

I think feet are very important, aren't they?

I'm just teasing. I know there's more to pediatrics than feet.

- Thank you very much. - Thank you. Always nice to see you.

- George, congratulations. - Terry, how are you?

- Still slicing? - Indeed.

I bet you are.

Hi, there. Oh, yes, the Emile family. Lovely. So good.

- Hi. - Nice to see you. Take care.

- Melanie Corman. Administration. - Ah-ha.

My friend Elaine Cominsky wants to meet you, but she's shy. Is that okay?

That's fine. I've been too nervous to meet Elaine myself.

- Good. Don't move. Great tie. - Thanks. I was rather nervous about it.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Hey, your brother wants to see you. - What? Now? Tonight?

That's what he said. Although sometimes it's hard to tell with the accent.

This is Elaine.

- Oh, hello. - Hi. Would you sign my GQ?

GQ! I see what you mean.

Sorry, I thought it was a medical term. You had me all excited.

- "To Elaine, George Wade." - Thank you.

Hang on just one second.

There's no way I'm running up to Westchester just because he calls.

It's absurd. He'll just have to wait.

- Right on. Hey, man, forget him. - Yeah.

- Should I get the car? - Yes, get the car.

- Good evening, Mr. George. - Good evening, Rosario.

- Excellent new hairdo. - Mr. George.

No, I'm serious. You look like a young Imelda Marcos.

- Hello, George. - Hello, Helen.

Don't you think Rosario looks particularly lovely tonight?

I hadn't really noticed. Rosario, the children need baths, please.

Yes, Miss Helen.

- So how are the kids, apart from dirty? - They're fine.

- Can I get you anything? - I'd love some Milk Duds.

We don't have any. I could send out for one.

Oh, no, don't be ridiculous. If you're going to send out, get a whole box.

- Howard is in the gym. - Right.

Forty-five minutes, 6.5 miles an hour, at an elevation of three.

It's incredible how much more relaxed I feel.

- Helen does an hour a day too. - Yes, you both seem extremely relaxed.

You can cut the relaxation with a knife.

So why am I here, Howie?

We lost the West Side waterfront deal because your chief counsel...

your latest model-slash-attorney...

forgot to file an Environmental Impact Report.

I will admit that the law is not Amber's strong point.

- That's why I fired her. - No, I fired her.

Just as I fired Debbie from St. Barts' Law School...

and Stacy from Online Law School.

I want someone from Yale or Columbia or from the continental United States.

Women of that level of intellectual ability often find me shallow.

- Then hire a man. - Don't be absurd.

Because they wouldn't sleep with you?

No, because it would make you and Dad too happy.

Dad has been dead for 10 years.

Well, there is no reason for him to start enjoying himself now.

Get someone who can write a brief instead of removing yours.

And she can handle your divorce while she's at it.

You are still getting divorced?

Unless my ex-wife decides to fall in love with me again, or for the first time, yeah.

No! Why do you always find that so funny?

- It's very hard to say. - Hire a real attorney by tomorrow.

Don't!

- Hello, have a good day. - Thank you, ma'am.

- So you're Russian, you say? - 100%.

Hence, blond hair, blue eyes, cheekbones.

Sorry to have kept you so long, but at least I feel I know everything about you.

And I you. You know, usually I'm so nervous at interviews, but that was fun.

Yes. Isn't fun fun? It's been a pleasure, Tiffany.

Mr. Wade? Mr. Wade?

Hi, I'm Lucy Kelson. I'm an attorney.

Have you ever heard of Saint-Tropez Law School?

- No. - What a shame.

- Where did you go to law school? - Harvard.

- Harvard? - Yes.

Intriguing. Tell me more. What's your background?

I don't see how that's relevant. I work for the Coalition for the Homeless.

- At Legal Aid. - That can't pay much.

I'm not very interested in money.

Wait a minute. You're Kelson.

You lie in front of our wrecking balls.

- You attacked the Zegman brothers... - I did not.

It's not my fault they walked under a protest sign.

- You're not here for a job? - I'm representing...

the Coney Island Community Center. It was built in 1922.

It's the heart of Coney Island. It has adult education, basketball...

CPR, Lamaze, water ballet, senior's tae Kwon do. It's great.

For children, it's a home away from home.

I mean, I practically grew up there.

It's lovely, but Trump has the inside track. Nice to meet you.

No, Mr. Wade, you don't understand.

I live there, as well as my parents.

They know Assemblyman Perez, who's on the board.

If you can guarantee the preservation of this center, I'll guarantee you the build.

But why us? Why Wade?

Well, I can't get in to see Trump and the Zegmans have a restraining order.

Mr. W?

You're supposed to be taping The View in half an hour...

and Public Policy needs a quote on the challenges of urban planning. Hey.

Right. Yes. Quote, quote, quote, quote...

What I love about architecture is its ability to shape a community.

This center has shaped the community! It turns strangers into neighbors...

Its ability to change strangers into neighbors.

How the right design for a park can make people feel secure.

How a school building can be functional and beautiful so that kids feel...

No, the community center makes children feel engaged. It allows them a place...

Functional and beautiful so that kids feel engaged instead of imprisoned?

- Yeah, sounds good. - I like that.

But I said a community center, not a school.

I know, it's all very good. Jump in. Thanks.

- Nice shirt. - Thank you.

So do we have a deal?

No. I want something else from you.

No. I'm fully aware of your reputation and there's no way you're getting that.

- Getting what? - You know.

The sex. That's not gonna happen.

No, that would be nice, but what I really need is a new chief counsel.

Well, I think I would prefer the sex, because...

Okay, if you take the job, I promise to save your community center.

You can direct our pro bono efforts.

That's millions of dollars at your charitable disposal.

You couldn't possibly want me.

I've spent my life working against people like you.

Well, maybe if you work for me, you'll win occasionally.

- I... I don't... - I need an answer immediately.

Here is my direct number at the Grand Hotel.