Solar Opposites

‐ Whoa, hey. Oh, what is that thing?

Oh, don't throw that out. I can sell that on eBay.

‐ It has an unstable gray hole inside.

‐ You're an unstable gray hole.

Nice. ‐ It's too big for the trash.

I'm gonna dump it behind the Burger King.

‐ Don't, no, I can sell it and then buy a chocolate fountain

so I can stop making a mess in the microwave

and you won't have to yell at me anymore!

‐ Look at the Pupa. I told you to stop giving the Pupa candy.

He can't eat candy, it gets him sick!

‐ I didn't‐‐ I don't give him candy anymore.

‐ Well, he's getting it from someone!

‐ Oh great, now what.

The homeowners association is updating the rules again.

"Gardeners need to have marked trucks.

"No RV parking in the driveway.

All spaceships sticking out of houses need to be painted to match the trim."

Are you hearing this? ‐ Ooh, we should totally get an RV.

‐ It looks fine the way it is. I don't want it to blend into the house.

It's my whole thing, I'm the spaceship guy!

Damn it! There's a gray hole, Terry! A gray hole in the house!

'Cause we could just live in an RV.

You know, Terry, this proves that everyone in the neighborhood hates us.

I mean, why do you think everybody gives me more room when I'm walking down the street?

‐ They're avoiding us! ‐ They love us.

‐ I think there's only one way to find out who's right.

Nanobots. ‐ Buy an RV.

Nan‐‐ Nanobots.

Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.

Until the asteroid hit.

One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa

and escaped into, uh, the space,

We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.

That's right, I've been talking this whole time.

I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.

This is‐‐ this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?

This is ridiculous.

I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.

People are stupid.

I don't understand why people have so many outfit choices

when you could just wear a thick, coarse robe.

It's the perfect garment. Boots and a robe. Easy.

‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought you weren't shrinking kids down anymore?

a lady who had 15 items in the 12‐item lane,

and a guy who pronounces schedule like "shed‐jewel."

‐ That's not wall worthy, that's you being a jerk.

Ha ha ha, look at 'em.

Hey, little guy!

‐ ‐

‐ That's the alarm! Lucky for you, I've been teaching myself to hack at night

while you've been wasting your time sleeping.

‐ Alexa, turn off alarm.

Alarm deactivated.

‐ Stupid Alexa. Always listening.

‐ Hold it right there! I'm armed!

‐ Lethal force! Zap him with the bone zapper.

‐ Crap, now it's out of charge!

‐ Bite down on your poison teeth!

‐ Terry?

‐ Gordon?

Wait, you‐you work here?

‐ Yup, yeah, man, it's my third job.

I got three jobs, one, two, three.

Got the three banger jobs, you know. ‐ Oh, man, well, that's good news.

in the town water supply so we can find out if people like us.

Everyone will unknowingly drink water contaminated with our nanobots,

which will harvest all their memories,

and then they'll pee them out and they'll end up back here.

Hey, the room with the big pool of water

that everyone drinks from is right over here.

Come on. ‐ How do you, uh, know this guy?

‐ He sold me a gun.

‐ Be sure to break up the clumps or they might become sentient.

‐ Hey, man, are you sure this is gonna work?

‐ Well, it better, each one of these nanobot cost me 24 cents.

I mean, they should reboot them.

‐ We forgot to check the nanobots!

‐ ‐

‐ Oww!

Yah!

‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it.

How can you be sure you're gonna get all of those things out of there?

I'm just kidding, I don't care.

I work at the water treatment plant, I'm not a cop.

Oh, hey, by the way, I got some heroin. You guys wanna do heroin?

I can finally reduce people to statistics!

Ooh! This is how much people like us!

What the hell? Trent from around the block doesn't like

that I let Pupa go number two on his lawn?

Where the heck is he supposed to go?

‐ Brooke and Diane both think I ask too many questions at the grocery store.

I'm from outer space!

It's not clear to me why you have to cook bread twice.

‐ Mitchell thinks I'm too loud!

Is it the sci‐fi stuff? Do I smell bad? What is it?

‐ Looks like people just generally don't like us!

One guy hates you.

‐ I don't even know anyone named Tyler.

‐ Ugh, it feels like I'm covered in bees!

‐ We‐we‐we can act different, Korvo. I mean, we can make people like us.

And if people don't like us, that will make that job

so much harder in so many ways.

So to be clear: I don't need to be liked,

it's strictly a work necessity.

‐ Well, I need to be liked!

‐ Dang it, have you seen my shrink ray anywhere?

I'm hoping it didn't shrink.

How ironic would that be.

‐ I hid it. ‐ Give it back!

I will, but first I want to prove to you

that humans are mostly basically good life forms.

For the last couple months, you've been putting way too many people in the wall.

You need to pump the brakes, mister.

Um, dang it, did you hide my gun that makes people do what I want?

‐ Yeah, I hid all your guns.

‐ All the blue areas are pockets where people don't like us

as much as they should.

that marks which houses give out the biggest candy bars on Halloween.

‐ With a little extra effort, I think we can up our likability fast.

‐ You mean sex stuff?

‐ It's possible. Yeah. ‐ Then yes.

‐ Then let's aggressively make people like us!

‐ Shauna, the complete McNugget buddy collection.

Here you go. ‐ Jeremiah, here's a gold bar.

You can put it up your butt.

‐ Carson, it's your son.

He's alive again. There you go. Have fun.

Courtesy of Korvo!

‐ Oh my god, I can feel my legs!

I have legs!

These are kind of hard to control.

Keep moving. You're welcome.

Everybody's welcome. ‐ You're getting there early!

Terry and Korvo. ‐ All right, Terry, that's enough.

L‐L‐let's go.

‐ No, no, no, no, no!

‐ He always eats lunch alone in his office.

‐ Hey! Get outta here.

‐ I had an extra pudding cup today, Mr. Dutch.

I thought you might want it.

My ex‐wife used to pack my lunch.

Ever since we separated, I've been doing it on my own.

I'm sorry if I've been kind of a dick this year.

I've‐‐ I've been going through a lot.

You know what? Neither of you need to run the mile in next week's fitness test.

I'll just say you both got six minutes.

‐ See? We were nice to someone who was mean,

and now we don't have to run the mile.

‐ That's true. That's how it panned out.

‐ Yeah, that might work on a sad, old, lonely gym teacher, but‐‐

‐ What about those mean surfer guys at Fourth Beach?

‐ Ugh, I hate them. They're always mean to me.

‐ Something tells me that today might be a little different. Wink.

‐ Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Are you seeing this, Terry?

‐ It's working! We're tricking people into being our friends!

Ah, this feels so good, I feel so whole!

‐ We're popular!

Solar Opposites will be right back after these set of‐‐

this set of subsequent advertisements.

Unless you spring for expensive Hulu, then there was no commercial break

and this doesn't make a whole lot of sense and is probably quite jarring.

Good for you, Mr. Moneybags.

It's laser engraved right there in the middle, see?

How's that amicable divorce, A‐A‐Angie?

Phil, try the potato salad:

your stomach acid will break it down, and then you'll poop it out in a few days.

and I'm from space.

I should know a good town when I see one 'cause I've been to the moon.

Oh, oh, hey, hey. Don't hide from me over there, Delvin.

I wanna hear about that dental thing. Show me those chompers!

‐ You and Korvo have gotten pretty popular around here, Ter.

We have the juice. It's like a little charisma thing.

Charisma action going on.

‐ You guys should run for the president of the HOA.

Ruth, the old lady who runs it now?

We would be so happy to see that bitch go.

that if we ran for president of the HOA, we'd win!

‐ Oh my, Terry, do you know what that means?

‐ We could make all the rules around here.

No more "paint the ship."

No more "don't build a giant hole

in the middle of the road to capture children in."

‐ I‐I‐I could do some crazy Disney's Blank Check style stuff,

like build a water slide that goes down under the ground with a window

and you can see the dinosaur diorama we built down there

and, oh my god, it would be so awesome.

Which means they would have to like me digging up dead bodies

at the cemetery and fucking them.

‐ And the only person who can get in the way is the old lady president. Ruth.

‐ Ruth. ‐ Ruth.

Ruuuuth.

‐ Terry, no. Let's just go spy.

I don't get it, she's been sitting on her porch for seven hours.

Doesn't seem that tough. It's called stamina. She's flexing.

I'm freaking out. She's the incumbent, Korvo. They never lose!

‐ You boys want some peanut butter cookies?

‐ Oh, she's threatening us!

‐ Can you help me get a blanket down from my shelf?

‐ She's a million years old, man, she probably knows everything.