McMafia

Good God, Mr Vadim.

I finally managed to drag you away from Moscow.

Come.

My enemies have made it harder for me

to transport my heroin from the north.

I'm looking at alternatives, but if I continue

moving my product through Mumbai,

I need to be sure that the route is really secure, Mr Chopra.

Nothing's changed. I own the port authorities,

I own the police.

In Mumbai, I'm God.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Philips Children 's Charity

would like to thank you for your generosity

and urge you to be even more generous

in bidding for our charity auction prize tonight,

a dinner date at Harry's Bar with supermodel Natalia Bala/(in/

let's start the bidding at £5, 000.

Where's my brother?

Five thousand five hundred.

Six thousand.

Six thousand five hundred. Thank you very much.

Godman.

Ah, it's table seven.

Seven thousand five hundred pounds.

Seven thousand five hundred pounds...

Come on. I need a wife. Eight thousand!

—Eight? —Yeah.

Boy. (CHUCKLES)

What? It's a good... (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) It's a good price.

Besides, if a Russian gives to charity,

they call him an oligarch instead of a crook.

-Hi, Mother. —Hi, dear, how are you doing?

She's flirting with me.

-How are you, Papa? -(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

—Hi, Uncle Boris. -Hello, hello.

Rebecca.

Thirteen thousand pounds.

Thirteen thousand pounds.

-Yes. —When do you start

to speak with me in Russian?

When your son teaches me.

I will teach you.

My son and his sister speak Russian like children.

Fourteen thousand.

Fourteen thousand.

See my new wife there?

Ithought business was bad, Uncle Boris.

Business is lovely.

Fifteen thousand.

Fifteen thousand pounds.

The man in the white suit.

Papa, you are in England. You can't talk like that.

—Hey. —Hi.

What did Papa say?

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

You should check on Papa.

No, one more dance.

—Go and sit with him. —No.

Only if you dance with me.

—(CHUCKLES) —Come on.

You should buy Becky a new dress.

Mama, it's Rebecca.

You should buy your girlfriend a new dress.

She works for one of the richest men in the world

and still dresses like a student.

Come on.

No, I told Alex he was crazy,

that he should have stayed at Goldman.

Well, it's a good thing he didn't listen to you.

I cannot help it, you know.

Iam his... (SPEAKS RUSSIAN)

Of course, now he's an English gentleman

so he wants nothing to do with me.

He doesn't realise his fund is doing great

because he has all your contacts to invest.

Oh, he turned down all my contacts too.

Oh. (CHUCKLES)

I have a friend in Israel, he's very interested in investing.

We're too small for your friends.

You never know what he's thinking.

He's got this beautiful smile,

but underneath, maybe he's thinking, "Screw you

"and your friends, Uncle Boris.

"I don't need your money."

I kn ow.

I appreciate it.

"I appreciate it." Like a wall.

I should practise tennis against him. Huh?

Bjorn Borg, huh?

Excuse me.

0a.

(OVER PHONE) Vadim is still alive.

They’ve flown him home.

Pa pa.

Ithink it's gonna be me.

It better not be you.

I mean, I'm the one who's drunk and you can't find your keys.

I can't find them. I can... hear them.

—(CHUCKLES) -Oh, God.

I think there's something up with my uncle.

Hmm. Like a bottle of vodka.

Sorry.

I'm worried he's having money problems again.

Oh, he's always having money problems.

Bjorn Borg!

You want me to be Bjorn?

My Swedish is worse than your Russian.

—(BOTH LAUGH) —Get off me!

- (MOBILE VIBRATES) —Oh.

Mama. Hmm?

Mama, it's 1:00.

How did he get up there again?

I didn't see it, I was watching TV.

Hi, Papa.

No, thanks.

No.

Come on, Papa. Please.

Mama's worried.

Come on.

According to sources, the funds under investigation

include Drakm Klatyaman, Warchus Naylor, Godman Capital.

Well, that's crazy. We've never invested in Russia.

I've already had three investors asking to redeem their capital.

Have the FCA been in contact?

No, not yet.

Well then, where the hell is this coming from?

Tell your investors that the story is completely untrue

and that the FCA is going to vindicate us.

Karen, don't you know some guy at Bloomberg?

We don't speak any more.

Ask him who is spreading these rumours.

HI, Uncle Boris, can I call you back?

Ijust saw the article. Is everything okay?

I'm not sure yet.

Someone in Moscow planned this to hurt the family.

I don't think so.

listen, you don 't have to take everything on your shoulders.

I'm here for you too.

-I know. -I love you.

I love you too.

I started the fund from scratch.

I never took a penny from my family or their friends

and I've made it a policy not to invest in Russia.

It's because of my family background.

I've been careful to be completely transparent

and have always maintained the highest ethical standards.

Well, forgive me, but perhaps if you'd chosen a different name,

you wouldn't have had this problem.

Alan, a competitor started a false rumour.

If you invested, even in the short run, it would restore confidence.

And I'd obviously give you better terms than in normal circumstances.

What does your boss think?

You know Sydney doesn't invest in emerging market funds.

I know Sydney is usually right about everything.

We've given our clients excellent returns.

I know, Alex. I've done my research.

You're very good at what you do.

But here is my problem.

When you say you haven't broken any sanctions, I believe you.

100%.

But I'm not sure that anyone else will.

If you were American, or German or Spanish,

then you would issue a denial and that'd be the end of it.

But because of where you come from, these rumours tend to stick.

And that's why I'm asking someone with your reputation to invest.

Well, if you're asking me for a favour, then the answer is no.

But if you're offering me a share of your business,

then that is something I'm willing to consider.

As long as we change the company name.

Uncle Boris, good to see you again.

-How are you doing? —I am good, how are you?

Are you sure you don't want any?

This gives you stamina, you know.

It's like Russian Viagra.

I'm sure.

Geena?

With this red soup, you bring sour cream,

not fresh cream. Please.

You got it right last time, you can do it again.

-Pardon, sir. —It's all right. Don't be so sad.

I'm not angry, and get me a fresh bowl too, please.

Thank you, Geena.

Well, I think the Daronyas could be interested.