Entourage

Turtle: Tell us, Vince, what are we doing here?

We're having our own private launch party for our new tequila company.

Name, Vin. Give 'em the name.

Uh, Tequila Avion.

- (with accent) Avión. - Avión.

- Huh-uh, Avión. - Avión!

And who is this?

This is my friend Sasha.

Aren't we more than friends by now?

Oh no no, we are. We're very good friends.

- And this is my friend. - Alex.

Notice how she didn't say we're more than friends?

You don't make a move soon, Turtle, I'm gonna have to.

- What, am I not here? - I'm just saying.

He's made moves. We're just taking it slow.

Real slow. Like the 405 at rush hour. Ow.

Well, Alex, all I know is I've had a lot of sex in my life

and the best sex I've ever had was while drinking this.

Can we quote international star

of stage and screen Sasha Grey on that?

I'm not shy. Drink this and you'll have the best sex of your life.

Guys can fuck like me and girls can fuck like a porn star.

- (laughs) - Come on, Vince.

That was awesome.

Oh my God.

So what is the deal? Are you two gonna bang or what?

Jesus, Drama. I thought you were dead.

No, I'm just unemployed, sad and lonely.

Don't worry, I'm saving a piece of my piece of this company for you.

That makes me feel much better.

Say something on camera about it. You're a pseudo-celeb.

I don't drink tequila. I drink Johnny Blue

'cause I'm not a pseudo-man like you.

- All right, you're out. - I am out.

Doesn't drink tequila. Huh, what a loser.

What?

I was gonna kiss you.

- You've already kissed me. - Fine, then I won't.

Why? Why do you like teasing me so much?

I told you, I'm not that easy.

No, you're like breaking into Fort Knox.

Then I guess you'd better keep trying.

- (cheering) - Yay, Turtle.

Okay, so what are we looking at here?

Well, sexual harassment maybe. Wrongful termination possibly.

I didn't terminate her. She quit.

She felt that she was overlooked for a promotion she deserved.

I would have given it to her.

Whose side are you on? I didn't do anything wrong here.

Obviously Amanda Daniels disagrees.

Why would she be willing to spend her money supporting Lizzie?

- To get back at me. - For what?

He stopped her from getting a job she wanted once upon a time also.

There is no case here.

You say Lizzie's written down things you've said?

- Yes, in a journal. - Yeah, made-up words obviously.

- Obviously. - Look, it's her word against mine, right?

They'll subpoena everyone in this office. What might they say?

What do you think they might say?

He told me I'd look good with a ball gag in my mouth last week.

- Ari. - Lloyd!

- Yes? - What would you say

about my treatment of you over the last five years?

- Treatment? - This is Jim Lefkowitz, Lloyd.

- Our attorney. - Attorney?

- What's going on? - The lovely Lizzie Grant may sue me.

And you, Lloyd, and everyone who works here may be asked

to describe how Ari treats his employees. So what would you say?

Ari has always been gracious and lovely, fair and reasonable.

This has been a dreamlike job from minute one.

And would you say that if you were under oath,

facing a perjury charge and possible jail time?

Oh God, I can't do time, Ari. I don't think anybody in my family could.

- I'm sorry. - Go!

So do you think others would speak better of him?

Worse is my guess.

What do you suggest?

Well, I mean, you're trying to bring an NFL team to Los Angeles.

- So? - So the NFL doesn't like controversy.

This goes to trial, win or lose, that's over. You know that.

And your wife and kids won't like it either.

I haven't done anything wrong.

- Jim, what do you suggest? - I suggest you offer Ms. Grant

a generous amount of money to not pursue legal action.

I already offered her a generous severance package.

I'm offering her nothing else.

I'll call her new boss and convince her

not to waste her time or her money on this thing.

Just make sure she doesn't write down everything you say.

- She's right. - Jake!

Get Amanda Daniels on the phone.

- Morning, E. - Morning.

Late night? You look tired.

I was up till 10:00 tasting wedding cakes.

I'm not tired, I'm nauseous.

- Any sign of an offer for Vince? - Mm-hmm.

- How is it? - Oh, I didn't look.

Okay, it's incredible.

- Wow. Scott! - Oh, and a Billy Walsh called.

- Scott! Oh, come on. - Yeah, why, who is he?

He was supposed to be a big director for a minute. Never heard of him?

- Shall I call him back? - No, but call Ari.

Tell him I want to talk to him about this. Thank you.

Yes, Murray, I know.

Yes, Murray, I know. Eric's here, he says hello.

- Hi, Murray. - He says hi, yeah.

Okay, I love you. I really do. Have a good trip.

- Have fun. Okay, bye. I hate myself. - What's the problem?

- He wants me to babysit his house. - He's got a nice house.

He also has two pugs that do nothing but snore and shit.

- Don't worry about that. Look at this. - What is it?

Vince's offer for "Air-Walker."

- Back end? - Huge, and 12 upfront.

- Holy shit! - (laughs)

I have Billy Walsh again.

Tell him I'm out of town or something like that.

- Did you call Ari? - I left word with his assistant.

Call him back, tell him we're heading down there.

- We are? - Yes. You can be

my eyewitness that he had absolutely nothing to do with this.

I can do that.

- (roaring) - (people screaming)

- Johnny, you've got to stop drinking. - Why?

'Cause you've been going for 16 straight hours.

- So have you. - Yeah, but I'm happy drinking.

I'm gonna keep doing it until I get a job.

Maybe you should do a play.

I'd love to, bro, but I can't afford it.

My mortgage rate's ready to reset.

Whatever movie I do next I'm making sure there's a role in it for you.

Vince...

And I got your mortgage until you find a job.

And that will be pretty soon I'm sure.

How do you know, bro? I was on a series six months ago.

I haven't had an offer since. Correction...

Dos Equis asked me to be the least interesting man in the world.

Johnny, this town is up and down, up and down.

You know that. I mean, look at me.

I was done, but I came back.

- And you will too. - I hope so, bro.

But for now, let me wallow in my misery.

Stop wallowing with my tequila.

- I'm gonna run out of samples. - Boo. What, are you in a bad mood too?

- No, why? - You look sad.

I guess he couldn't close Alex.

It was looking pretty good to me.

I closed. I closed.

- Great, so how was it? - For me or for her?

We know it couldn't have been any good for her, so let's hear about you.

But first, have a drink.

- It's 10:00 AM. - Suit yourself.

Top me off, bro.

So what happened?

I really don't want to talk about this.

Lighten up, Turtle. If it's any consolation,

this moonshine of yours is starting to grow on me.

- Great. - Come on, tell us what happened.

I closed.

I did. I just didn't close well.

What, did you pop off early? It's been a long time for you.

Yeah, Turtle, that's no big deal.

No, it wasn't that. It just didn't start out so good

and then I couldn't find my groove.

What, you didn't eat it right?

- Disaster. - I'm sure you're just imagining it.

No, I'm not. And the truth is I've been imagining it for a month.

She is so hot and then finally

I was all ready and I made my way down there and...

- What? - Nothing.

- Something. - You guys are gonna laugh at me.

- No we won't. - No no no.

Okay, I made my way down there just as the sun came up.

The harsh light hit it directly

and it was completely bald and I freaked.

- (laughing) - Yeah, see?

I'm sorry. Why did you freak?

Seriously, Turtle. I love that.

It's like you peel back the curtains to reveal the mystery of Oz.

I don't have a problem with it.

It's just that close-up with the sun, it shocked me.

What, you saw a shaved box before?

I have in porn. Just not in 3D.

I've been with girls who were nicely groomed... landing strip.

The landing strip went out in the mid '90s, bro.

It's the truth. Everyone goes smooth nowadays.

- Even you, I bet. - Smooth balls for sure.

And I hope you do yours as well.

- I don't groom my dick, no. - Are you kidding?

It's 2010; you'd better.

- Do people really do this, Vin? - I only know about my own dick.

And, Turtle, you should only worry about yours.

But listen, you haven't been with many chicks since Jamie.

Many meaning zero.

And you were nervous. So I'm sure you did fine.

No, I didn't. I need another shot.

- Well, I am sure you will get one. - I hope.

Well, if you do, you'd better do a little courtesy manscaping.

Can't have your dick looking like a Chia Pet, bro.

Can I just get a little support? At least tell me I'm not crazy.

No, you're not crazy. Murray's hard on you.