Blue Bloods

My kingdom for an empty bench

where I can devour my cheeseburger.

It's two cheeseburgers you ordered, hotshot.

It's gonna be three if you don't finish yours.

Oh, there's a spot.

Hey, whoa, whoa.

Huh.

Excuse me, ma'am, does this bag belong to you?

No.

Uh-uh. No. No?

Hey, guys,

does that bag belong to any of you? No.

No? No. Uh-uh.

Sir, did you forget your bag over here?

It's not mine. Did you guys forget... Okay.

Excuse me, anybody with this bag?

This bag belong to anyone?

It ticking. It's ticking?

Yeah. Let's just keep it calm and back everybody up, okay?

Guys, we need you to back up, okay?

Please, folks. Folks, will you please clear the area?

Central, 12 David. Be advised, we have a suspicious package

at Union Square Park at 14th and Broadway.

Have Bomb Squad respond at this time, please.

Do you have the appraisal?

I have the appraisal. Okay.

What about the letter from the mortgage broker?

I got the letter from the mortgage broker.

Come on, stop worrying.

Okay.

Maybe you should have worn your blue tie.

Why?

It brings out your eyes. What?

Blue implies honesty, dependability, trust.

I'm asking him

to refinance our mortgage, not marry me.

I know. I'm just nervous, that's all.

Don't be nervous. We got this

in the bag, okay? My job is secure,

our credit is good,

and we have been with this bank

for over 20 years. Isn't that right?

Mr. Reagan. Mrs. Reagan.

Hi. How are you? Please, right this way.

All right, let's go.

Relax.

What is it? What's going on?

Someone left an unattended bag.

Aw, man. Is it a bomb?

We're not sure what it is yet, sir.

That's why we're checking it out.

Why's everybody laughing?

It's a Spanky.

What's a Spanky?

The guerilla street artist, Spanky.

You've never seen his art around town?

This isn't art.

This is yelling "fir"" in a packed theater.

Yeah.

We did everything by the numbers with the appraisal.

Mm-hmm.

Even used the company the bank recommended.

Yeah. Our mortgage broker says we're a slam dunk.

Slam dunk. Slam dunk.

I'm sorry. We're not gonna be able

to refinance your mortgage at this time.

You what? Why not?

I suggest you check back with us in a year.

A year?

To a year and a half.

No, no, no. You hold on to those, because

there's got to be some mistake. Okay, Danny, Danny...

We got to work this out here.

You know what my husband is

really saying here is that we have been

very loyal to this bank-- 20 years

we've been with this bank. Over 20 years.

Yeah, so that much loyalty

maybe deserves a little bit of a reward.

Big reward.

We appreciate your business.

We do. That's why I hope you'll check back with us in a year.

To a year and a half.

- Well, I think that you... - Listen up!

Do exactly as I say and nobody gets hurt!

Everybody down on the ground!

Get down! Everybody get down on the floor!

Get on the floor!

Heads down! Heads down!

Everybody on the ground!

Danny, get down, get d...

All right.

Heads down! Get on the ground!

Keep your head down! Let me see your hands!

Let me see your hands!

Heads down!

Bags, purses and phones!

Let's go! Now!

== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man

Nobody move! Head down! Down! Get on the ground!

I need all wallets, phones and purses out now!

You!

Get up! Move!

Hurry up! Open the vault!

Heads down!

Come on, open it.

Fill it up!

Get your head down! Down! All right!

Come on! All of it! All right.

Cell phones and wallets!

Take it easy.

Give it to me! Here! Here!

- Give me the bag! - Let's go!

Hurry up! On the ground!

Come on.

Get the drawer!

Aren't you gonna do something?

You're a cop. Shut up.

Tell him to do something.

In, like, a year to a year and a half.

What is going on here?

Nothing. He was nervous.

I just told him to-to relax and no one's gonna get hurt.

Sit up! What?

Sit up.

I'm on the ground like everyone else. Sit up!

It's okay.

Are you a cop?

No, I'm not a cop! I'm just...

Are you a cop?

No!

Time!

We're out. Now!

Let's go!

Now!

Now!

You, on your feet! Dial 911 right now.

Are you okay? Yeah.

I need you to remember something, okay?

Okay. Listen to me.

Okay. Female,

white, five-five, five-six. Female, white.

Okay. Southpaw.

Hair in a bun.

Male, white. Okay.

Six-one, six-two.

Okay. Okay. A scarred wrist.

Male, white. Bandage on the... on the back of his neck, okay?

Yeah. Don't move.

Everybody stay calm!

I got it. I'll be back!

Okay. Stay put.

Spanky? What kind of name is that?

Did his mother hate him?

It's his nom de guerre.

Nom de what? Pen name. He's an artist.

No one knows his real name.

We're gonna, soon. A lot of smart people

have been trying for a long time.

The police? London and Paris, yes.

Yeah, they call him an artist. 'Cause I call him a terrorist.

Terrorist? Let's not get carried away, Chicken Little.

Who you calling chicken? As in "the sky is falling."

Frank, you want to weigh in here?

I don't think we need to move to code red just yet, Sergeant.

Exactly. And I don't know

anything about art, but I do know the law.

And what he did was a felony, punishable by up to 25 years.

25 years for a stunt?

You can't intentionally leave a bag

that looks and sounds like a bomb in a public place.

Not in this day and age.

But it wasn't a bomb.

It was ticking. It was a balloon.

That's not the point.

The point is it was made to look like a bomb!

That's a threat. That's intimidation.

That is the very definition of terrorism.

We call this guy a terrorist, and all that word implies

in this day and age?

We're not.

But he is. You go out with that,

lumping Spanky with Al Qaeda,

the boss becomes a punch line

for the left and the right,

from sea to shining sea!

We're a police department, not an arts foundation!

Stop!

You're hurting my head.

He's not a terrorist.

He's a person of interest in a felony hazardous act.

And we do not arrest and charge

on the basis of profession or profile,

only on the law.

Now figure it out!

Without making it

more work for me. Copy?

What are we doing out here?

Male white with the scars, he kept checking that window

and looking in this direction.